


Ascendance Crashing Down

by LegacyWorks



Series: Never Yeilding [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang is not okay, Aang is still alive, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar)-centric, Gen, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Ozai still sucks, Passing mentions of dark topics, Protective Azula (Avatar), Reference to the comics, Sadistic Azula, She's literally the Azula that terrifies us just her dad has less influence, Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Ursa is trying to be a good mom, Young!Zuko, Zuko (Avatar) is a Good Brother, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, avatar!azula, but also not really, he's not really that old, old and wise Aang, or wise, reference to Kyoshi's life and story, so she's better I guess?, sometimes beta'd because people busy, young!Azula
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 69,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25856716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegacyWorks/pseuds/LegacyWorks
Summary: Azula makes a great avatar. If the Avatar and the Fire Nation weren't mortal enemies, she might have been able to stay.
Relationships: Aang & Azula (Avatar), Azula & Mai, Azula & Ozai, Azula & Ursa, Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Never Yeilding [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169165
Comments: 42
Kudos: 120





	1. The Boy in the Statue

**Author's Note:**

> Avatar was my childhood and while I love that people are learning about it now and loving it (as it should be), some of y'all new people's opinions on the characters scare me. That isn't necessary to this fic, but I am writing a huge story because of an tumblr post.
> 
> I am glad Azula didn't get a redemption arc in the original. It would be out of character for her and I refuse to see her character destroyed like that. Everything she did was expected of her, she enjoyed everything that she did, and there was no reason in her mind to feel remorse. This is not redemption. There is a change in her world that changes who she is and how she interacts with people.
> 
> She is chaotic. She is sadistic. She is manipulative. She is everything that we love to fear, and she's the protagonist. 
> 
> Now you just have to reach chapter 4 to meet her.

I push some of the water out of my eyes as it drips off my forehead. The storm has been getting more and more intense, with the wind batting Appa everywhere. A couple of times I have to grip onto his wet fur, wrap strands around my fingers, and hope for the best.

Maybe I should have waited for a while before leaving. Maybe I should have talked with Monk Gyatso for a little longer and figured out what was happening. But I just.

I can’t.

I can’t be the person they want, I can’t be the Avatar and I can’t fight or travel the world or anything. I don’t want to. They chose the wrong person.

All it took for my friends to leave was one word. Avatar. The one thing that all of a sudden defines me, says that I can’t be near them, that I can’t play with them. That I can’t be their friend anymore.

How is it that breakable? Everything that we learned together, every game we played and experience we had and person we messed with. All of that time, it can’t just be erased like that. 

But it was.

How could Monk Gyatso not tell me earlier?

He knew. They all knew, all of the masters that trained me, that looked down on my behavior when I was just laughing and playing with the other kids. Every single time I was scolded for being too childish, they  _ knew _ . I was the only one scolded. I was singled out. They knew and they treated me like it, but they never told me.

Monk Gyatso as well. He treated me differently. He was fun and never once scolded me, but he still treated me differently from the other kids.

Did they ever really care for  _ me _ ? Was I only ever the Avatar, the next in line to protect the world as the bridge between the spirit world and ours? Was  _ I _ ever really important or do they only care about the Avatar I’m supposed to be?

“Come on, Appa. We should land,” I guide his head toward the ground, looking down on the earth kingdom. We should be near Omashu, or at least somewhere close enough to it. I’ll go visit Bumi, see if he can help me get my head straight. 

He always has the most creative solutions, and this is definitely a problem I need help with.

Appa angles downward, getting ready to land. The wind is still batting us around, but Appa’s strong. He can handle it. As long as I can hang on-

I can feel the air crackling before the sky flashes bright white for a brief moment. Appa freaks out, trying to shake me off even as he starts falling from the sky. “Appa!” He’s groaning, a long, low bellow resonating through my core. “Appaaa!”

The ground keeps getting closer. Even in the darkness of the clouds and the rain, I can make out the dots of trees growing in size. Appa is still below me, still falling, and I lose my grip. There’s no way I can use my glider. It would rip, wet paper in the wind.

Appa bellows again and my mind goes blank. He’s about to hit the ground, hard. His legs are up toward me and his head is tilted just enough that I can see the panic in his eyes.

My mind goes blank, but I can vaguely see a light glowing from my hands. I’m not wet anymore, I’m not falling, Appa’s not falling, everything around us has stopped.

For the first time since I heard I was the Avatar, I feel safe. There’s something protecting me from the outside world, something making sure nothing that’s happening around me will hurt me. 

There’s something that will let me hide from being an Avatar, away from the burden and responsibilities. I can hide from expectations. 

I lean into that feeling, into the safety and security, and I take Appa with me.

…

_ In the small town of Ranji, just north of Omashu, a new myth was born. In the year XX a powerful storm caused the earth to rise, forming the sculpture of a young child and their large mount. Some people say that Rangi herself caused the earth to rise using the power of lightning in the sky, making a new statue to immortalize her love for all to see.  _

_ As time passed, people attempted to deface the statue. Rangi’s love was forbidden, unaccepted, and anything meant to present her love to the world had to be destroyed. _

_ Earthbenders tried to push it back into the earth, to no avail. They tried lifting it from the ground but the earth would not shift. They tried pelting it with sharpened stones, large boulders, anything they could lift to destroy the statue. Nothing worked. _

_ The town never forgot the statue. Never forgot the strength of Rangi’s love that allowed her to move the earth nearly 200 years after her passing. Three generations of people have seen the statue survive war and pillaging from the Fire Nation troops, and they began to respect the statue. To respect Rangi’s love as it held strong even under fire and sword. _

_ Rangi’s love is as strong as Kyoshi’s earth. _

_ That is the phrase written in stone in front of the statue. That is the phrase accepted by the town of Rangi, and that is the phrase that leads to acceptance for all couples within the town. _

…

Fon wanders through the streets, his head down and legs stumbling through the dirt. The town is burnt, crumbling. Just like him. Just like his life and his friends.

His parents.

Burned. Mutilated. Turned to the dust that allowed them to bend.

He quickly wipes the tears from his eyes, sniffling to hide the snot. To harden his gaze, to present himself as a fighter, as dangerous. Not someone criminals or soldiers should mess with without reason. To look like someone able to walk the roads alone.

It’s hard, though, in his scrawny 15-year-old body. 

His stomach grumbles again, but he doesn't feel hungry. He passed that point a couple days ago. All he needs is water, but even that has been tainted by the blood of his people flowing into their streams and wells. He’s not desperate enough to drink it.

Not yet.

Fon keeps walking, keeps moving. Staying still is just as deadly as dehydration.

Back when he was younger, when his little town of Rangi was ignored by the Fire Nation soldiers and was able to play freely with his little sister, Fon would wander the area outside of the town.

There are a few caves where he learned how to bend. His mother taught him, late at night when the moon was hidden behind clouds and the only source of light was a small torch she lit after they were safely inside the cave. There have been rumors of the Fire Nation planning to attack Earth Kingdom villages and take all of the benders, just like they did with the water tribes.

His mother listened carefully to those rumors and hid their abilities away as quickly as she could.

She didn’t want people to know he could bend, not even their friends and neighbors. His father wasn’t nearly as careful - he didn’t believe in the rumors spreading around. He would use bending to help with work and repairs to homes. But his mother was always protecting him and his sister.

It doesn’t make sense how the Fire Nation soldiers knew. She made sure he was careful, that his sister was careful. That they would never get caught up in the genocide of benders that the Earth Kingdom’s done nothing to stop.

All of those high up officials living in Omashu and Ba Sing Se, all of the people that are praised in the streets and cursed at in the home. They’re all tyrants, good for nothings that are more willing to let their people burn alive than leave their cushy homes and protect.

They’re too scared of the Fire Lord to do anything against his troops.

And if Fon’s being honest? He can’t fully blame them.

He could do  _ nothing  _ as his mother screamed inside their home, as his dad picked up his sister and ran, only to be chased down and hunted like an animal. As their home burned to the ground without any resistance against the scorching heat. As the smoke filled their lungs and burned his eyes while he stood outside. Hidden but watching.

Fon heads to the cave where he was trained. It is the one place untouched by the Fire Nation, the one place that’s still sacred and alive and hopeful. The place full of memories of his mother and her softly guiding voice, his sister and her neverending energy. 

The place where he takes his power, his abilities, and controls it. Hones it to a perfect weapon, a perfect attack, a finishing blow. Into something that can defend him from harm and take down any soldiers that want to hurt the people he learns to care for in whatever future exists.

Fon spends a night in the cave as his body continues to waste away. It’s silent. Dark. Musty and cold. The moisture in the air helps his nose and lungs breath in without a dry, scratchy pain. His ribs are sunken in as he trains without nourishment. His stomach has given up it’s rumble. There’s nothing for it to take in.

At some point he’ll learn to hunt, to forage, to survive. But right now, he just wants to waste away in the dark and dreary cave. To close his eyes and forget.

He does, for a time. The light shines into the cave, warming his frozen body just a little. He breaths in, holding the breath in the bottom of his lungs. As he exhales he starts to sit, struggling on his weakened arms to push what's left of his body weight into the air.

It takes a while to stumble out of the cave. His legs don’t want to work. It’s like there are stones weighing down his every step, like his bending has forced them into his very body. Like he’s the one made of stone now.

He needs food. He needs food and he needs water and he needs someone to talk to because damn it he’s starting to go crazy with the silent isolation.

He needs his family but that’s never going to happen, not anymore.

So instead he wanders, looking for berries or nuts or literally anything that he can put into his mouth without being poisoned. He wanders and he stumbles and he falls before getting back up, kicking the objects that tripped him, and continuing on.

He wanders until he finds the dumb statue that talks about love and useless things like that. The dumb statue that his mother respected and his father resented, that appeared suddenly one night and everyone believed was brough about by Avatar Kyoshi’s longtime companion, protector and lover. 

If Rangi was powerful enough to raise the dirt in this stupid land 200 years after dying, why couldn’t she be powerful enough to stop the deaths of his family and friends?

Fon flies forward, smacking a fist against the face of the statue. He doesn’t notice the blood over his knuckles, dripping down his gaunt fingers as he keeps raging on the stone. He doesn’t notice as he falls to his knees, crying, leaning into the statue for comfort as it warms his frozen soul.

“What’s wrong?” He hears, just faintly enough to know it existed. He doesn’t plan to answer. It’s not the first hallucination he’s heard.

“Hey, sir. Are you okay?” There’s a hand on his shoulder, softly brushing against his dirty clothes. The weight is grounding enough to know this is real. When Fon manages to look up there’s a young boy standing in front of him. Exactly where the statue was, only now that same statue has disappeared and there’s a boy and a fuzzy beast.

“What?” Fon asks, blinking away the tears. “How?”

“How what?” The young boy questions. His big eyes are concerned, innocent. They haven’t experienced the same horrors that Fon’s eyes reflect.

“Where’s the statue?” 

The boy blinks a couple of times. “Statue? What statue? I haven’t seen a statue, but I’ve only been awake for a couple moments. I’m Aang, by the way, and this is Appa.”

Fon isn’t able to listen. His mind is swirling. He was so sure there was a statue right here, hard and cold and stone. “The statue! The one that Rangi created during the storm!”

“Um, I don’t know anything about a statue, but there was a storm when I landed. Actually, I don’t remember landing, but we were falling… huh. That could have been bad.”

“No! There was a statue here to represent love and other dumb stuff! It was created by Rangi for Avatar Kyoshi! A child and… their… mount.” Fon’s eyes flash back and forth between Aang - a young child, and Appa - his mount.

There’s a pounding starting up behind his eyes. As Fon’s vision fades, he starts to wonder if there’s something that this kid, Aang, can do about the Fire Nation. If he’s part of Rangi’s final gift to Kyoshi, there just might be a chance.

…

“Ah!” I shout as the kid falls forward, pushing all of his weight onto me. “Appa! Help!” He weighs more than me, even if he’s still pretty light. My legs start shaking under me as my center of gravity gets pushed over. “Aaaahhgh,” I groan, just to make sure Appa knows what I’m going through.

Oh, wait. I blink as I realize a much easier solution than complaining to Appa. I’m an airbender. I use some of the air around us to push him backward, shifting him around to ‘lay down’ in the air. It’s a little difficult shifting the thermals under him without too much force.

He looks like some of the people the monks would bring in to help. They always came in dirty, like this boy, with clothes hanging off of them and bones that were too easy to see. We always gave them food, shelter and water before they left looking a lot better.

“Aaah, what should I do?” I wrack my brain. I know the monks showed us what to do! “Oh! Appa, can you smell anything edible?” Appa’s nose is pretty great. Flying bisons are able to find food from miles away without any problem. It helps when they’re flying long distances and need high energy food. 

Leaves might be tasty, but it takes a lot of them to fill a flying Bison’s stomach.

Appa opens his mouth wide, lets out a low bellow, and flares his nostrils. “Awesome!” I lift the boy higher up, putting him on Appa’s saddle. I could put him in my sleeping roll after we find some food. It’ll be more comfortable, and he feels really cold so the added furs might help. At least until he can snuggle up against Appa.

“Alright, Appa. Yip yip!” Appa braces his legs, pounds his tail into the ground, and jumps!

Only to land again and start walking instead.

“Huh? What’s going on?” Appa groans and keeps walking toward the tree line. “Are you tired, buddy? Yesterday was too much, huh. Sorry for working you so hard!” I pat at Appa’s head. Maybe I can make it up to him later. Well, at least he can rest for a few days while I take care of this guy.

Appa shuffles through the woods for a while, moving under me while I get onto the saddle to look more closely at the boy.

He’s a few years older than me at least, and while he doesn’t seem to be in great shape it’s nowhere near the state of the people we would take care of back at the temple. He should be fine in a few days if I can find food and water.

I unroll the blankets and spread the sleeping roll out. Once it’s laid out the best I can make it I try to pick up the boy and drag him across the mat. “Hnnng! Come on, just a little further…” I manage about half way, with his legs still hanging off, before giving up and covering him with the blankets.

“Whew.” I should probably work on my muscle strength… I don’t remember it being this bad. Maybe I’m still tired.

Appa lets out another bellow, drawing my attention to a tree with bright red fruits growing. They aren’t something I’ve seen before, but if Appa says they’re safe, they must be.

“Thanks, buddy!” I hop off the saddle and use Appa’s head as leverage to jump up to the tree’s leaves. They’re a couple heads above Appa’s.

I gather the air around me, compressing it below my legs and releasing the compressed air as I propel upward in a spiral. Right once I’m at the right height I push my legs outward, holding myself up long enough to grab a handful of fruit before gravity takes me back down. My robes parachute around me, slowing me down even further.

“GruUgrugh.” 

“Aaah,” I put my hand on my stomach, trying to get it to calm down. It doesn’t. “Hungryyyy. Looks like I need to eat some, too. Appa, how are you feeling?” He makes a snorting noise, so I’m sure he’s looking for food as well. I wobble a bit when he starts walking.

“Alright, let’s get this guy fed.” I bite into one of the fruits, mainly to see if they’re soft enough but also because I need food and if I wait a second longer my stomach will try eating itself.

When he wakes up it should be fine for him to drink the juice. Solids might be a bit more difficult, but he can eat the rest after he’s been awake for a while. I pinch the skin on his arm to test it’s elasticity. It takes a while to move back into place, so he’s dehydrated as well. The juice will be extra-good for him.

I munch on the fruit for a while longer, making sure to leave at least four left when he wakes up. It takes a while, and I’m bored waiting for someone to talk to, but he finally manages to return to consciousness. 

“What?” He asks first, blearily blinking his eyes open and looking around. “Uh”

“Hi there! I’m Aang, not sure if you remember that. You, uh, passed out in front of us. You looked a bit hungry, so Appa and I found you some food. It was mainly Appa, but I picked it for you!” The guy still looks out of it. “Here, sit up and you can have some fruit. Sound good? It tastes yummy and it’s really juicy.”

He scrunches his eyes closed for a moment before leveraging himself up on an elbow. I quickly move forward and put my hands under his back, pulling upward as well. He’s a ways away from the walls of the saddle, so I sit behind him to prop him up instead.

“Here you go,” he takes the fruit from my hand. I already cut off the thicker skin around the outside. It’s edible, but tough and would make his tummy hurt too much.

“Thanks,” he mumbles before taking a bite. Some of the juice splashes down onto his shirt.

“You’re welcome! Um, where are we? I’m trying to get to Omashu but it was storming and I kinda crash landed, so we’re probably lost.” The guy hums, finishing his fruit before answering.

“Well, Omashu’s a couple week’s travel from here. There’s a wide area of water that you’ll need to walk around, so it’s a bit difficult to travel there unless you have enough money for a boat.” The guy still sounds a little out of it, but he was able to answer my question so it can’t be that bad!

“Awesome! Appa, we’re almost there!” Appa snorts in agreement as I cheer.

“Wow, you must have been traveling for a while.”

“Not really. Appa’s a flying bison, so we can go really far really fast. I think we’ve been traveling for a day or so? We went a bit too far north, so we need to backtrack a little. It’ll take about an hour to get there I bet.”

“Flying?” The guy asks. “I didn’t know those existed.”

“Really? They’re everywhere back home! I wonder if it’s an Earth Kingdom thing.” I mean, I didn’t see any others when I went to visit Bumi the last time, but surely there must be a few flying around. They like to travel too much to just avoid the Earth Kingdom.

“I mean, maybe? It’s not like I’ve gone anywhere else.” He’s silent for a moment. “Where are you from, anyway?”

I frown a little. I ran away from the temple, but it’s still my home. “The Southern Air Temple.”

“Really? People still live there?” The boy looks oddly surprised. I wonder if we’re that secluded. I didn’t think so, but there aren’t many monks who leave the temples. Sure, we don’t get a lot of visitors either but people know we live there.

“Yeah, of course! I guess we don’t get out much. Last time I left, monk Gyatso took me to Omashu to see my friend Bumi.”

“Bumi? As in Crazy King Bumi?” The boy pushes away from me to stare me dead in the eyes.

“Huh? King? No, no way. He’d never want to be king. Besides, we’re too young. There’s probably someone else named Bumi.” I can’t help but laugh at the image of Bumi as king. He’d probably turn the entire place into a roller coaster and create ridiculous trials for people to go through, just to eat breakfast. He’s a genius, sure, but he’s a mad genius. “Does that mean Queen Tirial stepped down?”

“Who’s that?” Something’s wrong here.

“Queen Tirial of Omashu? Brilliant economist and was the brains behind the delivery system? Super scary when you accidentally destroy a couple walls in her palace?”

“You destroyed a Queen’s palace?”

“That’s not important right now! How do you not know Queen Tirial!”

“I just don’t! King Bumi has been in charge since before I was born, how should I know anyone before that? And how do you know her, you’re younger than me!” I imagine that if the guy had more energy he’d be flailing his arms around like some of my friends back home when I first told  _ them  _ about accidentally destroying Queen Tirial’s castle.

“No way,” the guy pauses for a moment. “Don’t tell me you actually were the statue?” And now he’s back on this statue thing!

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! What statue?”

“The one that appeared, like, 80 years ago? The symbol of Rangi’s undying love and loyalty to Avatar Kyoshi?” Avatar. Of course it’s something to do with the Avatar. I can’t get away from it, even after fleeing the air temple and coming all the way to the Earth Kingdom.

“I don’t know.” I should get some fruit, do something to get away from this guy and his Avatar talk. 

I push myself off Appa’s saddle and jump up to another tree holding fruit. Appa stopped at some point to munch on bushes, so my take off is steady enough.

“No way,” I hear the guy breath out. I don’t turn around to see why until my hands are securely wrapped around a branch. “You’re an airbender?” 

“Yeah? Why?”

“I thought they were all killed years ago! Right… right around when the statue appeared… Oh no. That’s why you don’t know about King Bumi, isn’t it.” I can’t keep up with what this guy is saying. What happened to the airbenders? When? And what does it have to do with the dang statue?

“Aang, right?” The guy starts. “I think… I think you’ve been. Um. Sleeping? Yeah, sleeping, for over 80 years.”

…

No no no no no no no this can’t be happening thiscan’tbehappening there’s no way notachance.

Fon, the guy, keeps saying all this stuff about my people being killed and me being asleep for  _ years _ and it’s all just not possible. How can there be a war going on?

“You’re lying, you have to be lying,” I start, already tuning him out. They’re all dead? All of them? “I’m… I’m the last airbender?”

Why wasn’t I there, why did I have to be such a coward and run away from being an Avatar, run away and let my people all die without me even knowing.

Monk Gyatso… my friends… everyone that I know is gone and moved on. My friends from the other nations have probably forgotten all about it. It’s been, like, 80 years already, after all. Most of them are probably dead, too.

“Mom says… said… that my grandparents were friends with some of the nomads and traveled to the Southern Air Temple after they heard what happened, just to see if anyone survived. There were bodies everywhere. The kids, the masters… there were Fire Nation soldiers too, all of them ripped apart. Lots of the animals were killed, left as burned husks. They found their friend’s body. Uh, Monk Passing? Something like that.”

“Monk Pasang.”

“Yeah, that. And then they came back. Mom said they cried for weeks, mourning all of the kids who died without mercy that day. Grandma told me about it a few times, too, before she passed away a few years ago. She never managed to get through the story without crying. Mom would always tell us as a warning, just to make sure it didn’t happen to us, too.”

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe and I don’t want to listen to what this guy is saying anymore but I have to.

“But it did. The Fire Nation soldiers killed my family, too. Just a couple weeks ago. Fire Lord Azulon is still trying to round up all benders and kill them, just in case the Avatar has been reborn yet. His sons, Prince Iroh and Prince Ozai, are in charge.

“My family... we were all earthbenders. Somehow they found out and attacked our village, burning our house to the ground. Some of the other families didn’t make it out, either. My village is basically ash...”

“I’m so sorry,” I can’t focus on my stuff. Fon needs help, too. We need the basics, something to help get him back on his feet. Something to keep my mind off things.

“Well, we need somewhere to stay,” I finally say. “Are there other villages near here? Ones that the Fire Nation hasn’t destroyed?”

“Yeah,” Fon points in the direction Appa was already heading. “I have a couple friends over there. We normally traveled by horse for half a day, but… I don’t know where our horses are now.” It’s a good start at least.

“Alright! Let’s go, then!”

…

It’s a small village with only a handful of houses and a singular road area leading straight through. Fon points us toward his friend Ky’s house, which is a bit small and a bit run down, but more than enough for two people separated from their former lives.

“Ky!” Fon calls out, making some noise by rapping at the door. It opens to a young, tall, dark haired man who looks like he only just rolled out of bed. 

“Fon? What are you doing here? Ky’s still out working.”

“Hi, Zenko. Um, sorry, but I was wondering if we could stay with you for a little bit? Just until we… well… figure things out?” Fon shuffles his feet, glancing up at Zenko after a moment.

“Yeah, sure. Come on in.” The man, Zenko, ushers us in and starts making tea.

“Um, hi there. I’m Aang, it’s nice to meet you!” Zenko smiles at me briefly as he grabs a couple cups. “I like your place. It’s very, uh.” I look around at the old table and pillows. ”Homey!”

Zenko looks at me for a moment. “Yeah. Uh. Can I ask what happened?” Oops, maybe that was too much. We do look a little messy, of course he wants to know why. He already seems surprised to see Fon so suddenly. Maybe they normally send a message before visiting?

Zenko sits us down on the cushions and keeps working on tea. His hands are shaking a little, so maybe he knows that something really bad happened. I try smiling at him, try to calm him down, but his eyes only glance over me briefly.

Dejected, I start looking around for something to fiddle with. Fon’s completely silent, so he won’t be any help. His eyes have that far off look that means he’s thinking about his family.

I’m not surprised. I’m thinking about mine too, now.

Nope! I was gonna fiddle with something, not going there yet. There’s a ball resting near the cushions, so I pick it up.

“Our village got raided a couple weeks ago… most of us didn’t make it.” There’s silence for a while.

The ball’s made from woven straw, I think. It’s really firm.

“Your family?” Fon shakes his head no and Zenko pulls him into a hug. “You can stay here for as long as you need, understand?” 

The door slams open with a loud shout of “I’m back, bro!” It startles me, causing my muscles to tense up and the ball to go flying from my hand, hitting Fon in the head. I duck down, focusing all my attention on the new guy. Maybe Fon will forget about it.

The boy who walks in must be Ky. He’s grinning and a little sunburnt. It takes him a few moments before catching sight of Fon (who’s still glaring at me). “Dude, what happened? You look like crap, what are you doing here?”

“Ky! Back off!” Zenko scolds. I can only watch as a bystander as Fon explains again, his eyes dulled with muted emotions. I really, really want to poke his face right about now, but I hold myself back. That would be weird. Even if it would draw him out of that state of mind like when I did it earlier and he tried to slap me.

I wouldn’t be good to interrupt this. His friend needs to know what happened and I need to have Fon depend on someone that isn’t me. I need to leave soon. Maybe fly to the other temples and search for any survivors.

It’ll be lonely.

“This is Aang,” I turn my head, not expecting my name to come up. “He helped me out. His, uh, his family is gone too.” I already managed to wrap whatever the cloth was around my fingers and they’re kinda stuck.

“Well,” Zenko starts, “We don’t have much, but you’re welcome to stay for as long as you need, too.”


	2. Acts of an Avatar

It’s been a few days since Fon and I started staying with Zenko and Ky. Ky goes out to work in fields all day with the other younger kids and older men. Zenko is tasked with trading. He travels around to get foods that they can’t grow in the village or fabrics that they can’t make. Their parents died of disease a few years back and Zenko has been trying to take care of the both of them ever since.

Fon goes with Ky to half out in the fields while I gather food with Appa and the taller kids. I might be short, but airbending has its uses. Most of the kids just think I can jump really high, which is true! But I do have a little help. Sometimes when I jump up really high I stay in the tree for a while and drop food down for them.

The squirrel owls don’t really like it when I do that.

There’s also this cool deer monkey that the village likes to keep around. It kinda wanders from place to place, eating the leaves of some of the fruit trees. It avoids the fruits, though, and the trees it eats off of grows even more fruit than the others!

I really don’t know how that works, but it’s really cool!

I try riding it a couple of times, but they always manage to wrestle me off before we can really move anywhere. Turns out deer monkeys don’t like having people on their backs.

I really like living with Fon and Ky and Zenko and everyone in the village, and I like being with animals even if the squirrel owls try and attack me when I’m walking under their trees. It just really sucks that I can stay like this, in this peaceful place with good, happy people.

“Is that a soldier?” One of the girls I’m working with asks, pointing west into the distance. We’re carrying back baskets of fruits and nuts. Appa has been a huge help in finding things, and it sounds like the village will be able to pay their taxes and still eat enough for the next few weeks. 

It makes up for me distracting everyone when they’re supposed to be working. Turns out accidentally inciting a herd of buffalo yaks to run through the village’s only road is looked down upon.

Zenko scolded me pretty harshly after that.

“Yeah, I think so,” another kid said. “Come one everyone, we need to get back!” One of the older kids takes charge and everyone starts sprinting back to the village. I follow them back to the storage areas, opening up the underground cellar and shoving the fruits and nuts into wooden bins. Everyone runs back to their houses, making sure to alert the other villagers to get inside as well.

We manage to clear the streets before the first soldier steps foot inside the village.

“Where are the earthbenders?” One of the soldiers calls out, her voice low and intimidating. Everyone is still inside, leaving the street empty of anyone but the soldiers. They’re all watching, though. Ky and I stare out the window, waiting. Zenko is comforting Fon in the back corner of the house. They can’t look out the window, but Fon’s face is in his knees. He couldn’t see even if he wanted to. 

He’s muttering about things burning to the ground and ‘ _ run, just go’ _ with tears covering his face.

I refocus on the soldiers. A couple of them step away from the group to kick down people’s doors and drag them out into the street.

“Don’t tell me this village doesn’t have any! Come on out!” Their words cut through the silent streets. The doors stay shut, windows close, and everyone ignores the families who have already been removed from their homes.

There’s nothing anyone can do.

One of the soldiers sends a blast of fire down the center of the street, scorching the ground and setting fire to some of the grass.

“No,” Ky breathes out. The grasses are catching light, giving life to fires as they climb toward the houses. One starts to burn.

“STOP IT!” Fon screams, breaking down the door. My eyes fly to him as he scrambles outside. I nearly go after him but… the soldiers are so, so close. They’d burn me without a thought… 

Fon looks around frantically. First at the burning home, then the soldiers, then the families on the ground. He trembles as he stares at them.

“Just… just stop. No one else, please.”

“And who are you? Get out of my way.” One of the soldiers kicks him to the side, sending him flying onto the ground. A hand grips my arm. Ky’s staring terrified at the scene playing out in front of us. Fon on the ground at the mercy of the soldiers.

“What, no earthbenders here? I don’t believe it. Hey, you!” The soldier in charge barks at one of the others. “Light up that kid. See if anyone steps forward then.” I start for the door, ready to blast the soldiers away from the families, when Fon stands up and the ground  _ rumbles _ .

“I said,” he starts, still in a crouched position on the ground. He’s rising to his hands and knees, fingers gripping into the dirt. “STOP!” A huge chunk of earth pounds forward, hitting the person in charge straight in the chest.

The soldier coughs, landing on his knees while trying to force air back into his lungs. No one moves for a moment. One soldier breaks the stillness and the others charge forward, sending fists of fire at Fon.

Fon falls.

…

The soldiers withdraw after capturing Fon, leaving the rest of the village to clean up the mess. One of the houses has nearly collapsed under the flames, only the bare structure of it is left. Some of the fire spread to the crops, but it was a small patch. Nothing was completely ruined.

Fon is still gone, though. So things aren’t okay either.

“Bro, we need to go,” Ky starts, tears in his eyes. Zenko grabs hold of Ky’s shoulder and holds him there before pulling him into a hug. I can’t bring myself to say anything. 

I could help. I  _ should _ help. Maybe if I just told them I was the Avatar. If I just told them I was an airbender, even. They would have left Fon alone. I’d have been a bigger prize. 

I’m… I’m part of an extinct group. Rarer and more interesting than an earthbender.

I should have saved him.

“I’m going,” I hear myself say. “I’ll get him back.” My legs take me outside, back to where Appa likes to rest when he’s not helping to gather food. I’m sure people are following me, but my ears are filled with an insistent buzzing.

I need to save him. I can’t let anyone else die.

“Appa,” I say, already on his head with his reins in hand. “Yip yip.” He lifts up into the sky.

I have my staff with me, tied up in Appa’s saddle. But that’s all I have.

Hopefully I’ll be enough.

Appa rises above the clouds as I start planning. They’re probably on a warship, heading back to the Fire Nation. Either that or they already killed him and are looking for more earthbenders. I looked at a map a couple times over the past week. The village, Maizu, is just a short walk away from the waterfront. The ship is probably docked there, and with the speed the soldiers’ mounts can go they should have already left the harbor.

As we fly, I look out over the land. The places closer to water are lifeless. There must have been loads of people living along the coast years ago. There are stone buildings with scorch marks and caved-in roofs, and swaths of dirt and ash where there should be grass.

I pull my legs close to my chest and stop looking.

“Appa, I might not come back…” I admit, and it’s true. I’ve never fought anyone before, nothing more intense than the games I played back at the temple. We’d capture one person and they’d try and escape. That’s it. Fighting was always for older disciples. Even though I was accepted as a master, I was too young to learn the fighting stances.

The monks never wanted us to actually fight.

“If I don’t come back, you need to go. Got it? If I don’t come back you need to escape and keep living.” Appa bellows and I hope he understands what I’m saying. “I’m gonna get Fon out of there, and I’m going to come out too, but if that doesn’t happen… just live.”

When a large ship comes into view, I grab my glider and wipe away the tears blurring my eyes. 

“Alright. I’ll be back with Fon, buddy. See you soon.” I jump.

My glider opens with a snap, streaking me down through the sky to crash onto the deck of the boat. I land at the back, the only place where I don’t see a guard walking around. I close my eyes, focusing on the sensation of wind moving across my skin. Everyone pushes the wind around as they move, and if I just listen and feel, I can figure out where some people are.

One guard comes my way. He feels to be a few lengths back.

I quickly duck behind some crates, trying to ignore the rotten smell coming from inside. There’s a door toward the front of the boat that might lead somewhere useful, but I need to figure out how to sneak in.

There might be vents around that are big enough to crawl through. It is a ship, after all. They need to get air into each room or people would die. There’s also a ton of fumes that build up, especially around the engines. With a ship full of firebenders, anything flammable in the air would be a problem.

I look around for anything that might resemble a vent. That smoke must be coming from somewhere, so I track the puffs back to it’s exit point.

There’s a couple metal cylinders of varying heights on the ship. Thankfully I’m wearing the dark and dusty clothes that Ky loaned me instead of my bright monk robes. Maybe the crew won’t notice me. I jump up to the top of the shortest cylinder, quickly getting on top. The smoke tries to push its way into my lungs before I cover myself in a bubble of fresh air.

The clear air circles around me as I jump downward, slowing my fall just in case something unpleasant is at the bottom. 

I can’t see anything as I descend. The thick smoke is blocking my eyes and with wind whipping around me, I can’t feel anything that could tell me what’s going on.

Turns out that at the bottom of smoke there’s fire.

“Ah! Hot! Hot!” I burn my butt a little before patting off the flames. “Ouuch.” I cover my mouth quickly, glancing around the room. It’s pretty empty. Other than one sleeping person in the corner I’m the only one here.

Lucky! Now I just need to wander around until I find Fon and we can get out of here! Easy!

…

I might have spoken too soon. This ship is giant. Even though I managed to find vents connecting the rooms, I have to move extremely carefully. 

As I shuffle through an area I make the air flow faster to cover up the sounds of my clothes and staff scratching the sides of the metal. They probably think it sounds a bit strange, but if they don’t expect airbending…

Well. I need to use all my advantages. It’s slow going, though. I pause every so often to listen in on conversations. So far there’s been nothing about captured earthbenders, but there’s been a lot of talk about families and politics and getting annoyed with coworkers that aren’t pulling their weight.

They’re all just people living their lives. They've done bad stuff, like capturing Fon and who knows what else, but still. They’re people.

And I can’t fight or harm any of them. It just wouldn’t be right.

I manage to luck out after a while. A long while.

“It just doesn’t make sense!”

“Hey, quiet down already, you don’t need to shout.”

“Please, like anyone’s really going to report us to Prince Iroh. What if we just, you know. Left the food in the break room instead? I mean, come on. The chefs wouldn’t know, no one else would care. It’s perfect!”

“They’d be able to tell, you idiot. People look different if they haven’t eaten. If the prince catches wind of  _ that _ or that we’re the ones bringing food, he’ll have our heads! Along with all the damn prisoners we’re feeding.”

“Oh, come on.” They stop a little ways away from my vent opening. Far enough away that I can’t see them, but close enough that they might hear if I move.

“I’m just saying. They have some decent food in here, and it would be so much better going to people like us who’re  _ actually  _ working. Not just lazing around in the cells waiting on their next meal.”

“I mean, yeah, sure. A little less food won’t change much. But don’t you dare take everything. I’m not covering for you if you get caught.”

“Sure you will. You’re letting me do this, might as well eat some. Here, this bread’s actually pretty good.”

“That’s stale.”

“Are you really complaining right now?”

It’s a long conversation and they don’t move away from my vent opening for a while. The trays of food are probably getting cold by now, if they ever bothered to heat them in the first place. They’re also missing quite a bit of bread.

Once the two guards are gone I push air through the metal. I manage to rip an opening with a high screeching as the metal rubs against itself. It breaks and I jump through the opening, getting a couple cuts along my arms and clothes. I just need to find those guards and follow them. 

The halfway is pretty straight with a couple of rooms that are locked. The doors don’t look like prisoners should be in there, but I’ve never been in a ship like this, so I don’t know.

I run in the direction they went, listening for their voices to come back. The complaining one is still talking about how their food isn’t that much better than the prisoner’s food and how unfair that is.

Keeping my senses open as I follow them, I’m constantly checking for other soldiers that might be passing through. There’s a couple close calls before the guards reach a large set of doors. It takes both of them to pull the doors apart and create an opening large enough to slip the cart of food through. Once the doors close I position myself on the ceiling above them to wait until the two leave. 

I can try and slip inside while they’re taking the cart back out.

My biggest issue will be getting Fon out. I’m too small for any of the uniforms, but he might be tall enough to put on guard clothes and just walk out. There’s probably vents inside the cells, too, that I can fit into. 

I might even get lucky and there’s a large, smoke-blowing vent right above them.

By the time the two guards leave I still have no plan in mind, but I manage to get through the doors.

There are giant cages everywhere. People are stuffed inside each one; sometimes it’s a single person, sometimes it’s a group of small children. A ring of keys are resting by the door on a hook and I pick them up before walking through the cages.

The people inside whisper as I walk past them, some of them try to ask questions but I keep going. I need to find Fon before anything else. I need to get him out of here, and I can’t take the rest of these people with me, no matter how much I want to.

No matter how sad they look or how thin they are or the despair on their faces that cuts right into my soul.

Come on, Aang. Focus!

“Fon?” I ask, just above a whisper. I don’t know if anyone else is here, anyone that isn’t in the cages. I hope not. “Fon!” 

There’s a soft question in the back corner. “Hello?” It doesn’t sound like him, but there was still a response. I’ll need to check there anyway. 

I run forward, propelling myself with the air under my feet to move faster and softer. Just in case.

Fon’s in the bottom of one of the smaller cages by himself. There's tear tracks down his cheeks and his eyes are puffy and red. “Fon!”

“Aang?” He glances up at me, but his eyes are dull like he can’t actually see. They start to clear up after a moment, but it already shook me to the core. If only I didn’t take so long, if I didn’t let them take him in the first place…

“Come on, we need to get out of here.” I still don’t have a plan. Maybe… maybe I can try fighting, if it keeps Fon safe. The keys jingle in my hands as I search for the right one.

When the door is open and Fon is crawling out I had the keys to one of the older prisoners. “Here. I’m sorry I can’t help more, but you can try and escape with this.” I don’t wait for an answer. We need to go. Appa is probably concerned by now so he might leave soon.

We need to at least try and escape.

I look around the walls and ceiling for a vent. Nothing. There’s no guard clothing for Fon to put on, and I don’t think he can fake being a guard right now anyway. “I hope this works…”

He helps me open the double doors and we pass through without looking back at the sad, broken faces watching us go.

I can’t look back.

Fon knocks out the first guard we find. He slams their head against the wall from behind, and then they crumple to the ground.

Oh sweet sky bison this is happening. I’m sorry, Monk Gyatso. 

The next guards we come by I blast with air. One of them has their mouth open just enough that the air catches the lips and makes them flap strangely. Fon manages a quick laugh before moving forward to kick the second guard.

The guard falls on his back, hard.

I create a ball of wind to ride on, zipping up the side of the wall and sending another blast of air down on the two soldiers, sending them tumbling. I tie one up with a sash while Fon elbows the other in the head a couple times.

We work our way back to the air vent where I broke through. I didn’t realize how brutal it looked, the sharp edges where it ripped apart are dangerously sharp. “Dang, didn’t know you could do that,” Fon says as we rush past.

“Me neither.” A few more doors down we pass by a large tapestry. There’s a rising sun shining light over the land.

“Hey, I recognize this! Aang, I might know a faster way out.” Fon veers off to the left, leading me to trail behind. 

“Hey, wait up!” Fon sprints on his longer legs as I boost myself forward to keep up. By the time he stops there’s a metal shaft in front with a gate covering the opening. 

“When I first got here they brought me down in a moving metal box. This thing, but we need to get the box here.” There’s a lever at the side of the shaft that Fon pulls on, starting a loud clanking sound that echoes around us.

I can see something moving upward from the inside of the shaft. I would have assumed it was just the floor, but the top of it has a thick chain attached that’s drawing it upward. Fon guides me inside when the box reaches us, then shouts “Pull us up!” in an artificially low voice. The box jerks into motion, jostling Fon and myself for a moment.

“We’ll be on the top deck area but still inside, so we need to fight our way out. How’d you get here? Do you have a way to leave?”

“Uh, yeah, Appa. He should be flying around outside so we can jump on.”

“Alright. Then we need to survive long enough to get on him. Right once the doors open you need to attack. I can’t sense any dirt or earth around here so I won’t be much help.”

“Um, okay. I might be able to do that.”

…

I get harshly yanked down below deck, locked into a room without natural light, away from the cages that I saw earlier. “Ow!” I complain as they throw me harshly onto the ground. I’m already bruised and burned from them knocking me around on the top deck.

The door closes and clicks locked. I can hear a muffled voice asking for a muzzle. My arms and legs are already tied. They’re trying to cripple my bending.

They’re succeeding.

_ A blast of flame came toward me, toward Fon, and I spun my staff to divert the flames around us instead. I didn’t expect the kick that followed through, hitting my staff in the center and destroying it. My left hand gets burned before they knock me down. _

I have blisters, I’m tired, and I failed.

Fon managed to escape onto Appa after I pushed him upward with air. I shouted ‘yip yip!’ before dodging my way back into the ship.

_ Fon shouts at me as Appa flies away, but I can’t listen to him right now. All those people are still below deck. I can’t leave them there, not when I’m this close to them. Not when their lives are about to get so much more miserable. _

All of those people, young and old, are still trapped below deck. I couldn’t save them and I couldn’t save myself.

When the soldiers come back into the room one is carrying a long sheet of cloth while the others hold spears pointed directly at me. I could try to fight, try to resist whatever they plan to do, but would it do any good? At what point is it best to accept defeat?

They wrap the cloth around my head, the front part of it sliding into my jaws and holding them open. It blocks my airway, gagging me. I still have air flowing through my nose, but I don’t dare let them know. If I want even a chance of fighting back, of escaping, I need to keep it to myself.

I’m in that same room for days. They don’t feed me. Not when that means taking off my gag, of undoing my hands so I can lift the food. They’re able to remove the earthbenders’ way of fighting. They can remove waterbenders’. But air is different, and they haven’t figured out how to stop me from using it.

So I don’t get to eat. Instead they bring water and drip it into my throat. The water tastes dirty and the gag stays wet from both that and my saliva, but at least I can get something. 

I hear some of my guards talking about Prince Ozai. About how he’s been tasked with finding the Avatar, and that’s why he’s been attacking and kidnapping the earthbenders. And now that there’s me, an airbender, Ozai will want to know.

When he finds out I really am the Avatar he’ll kill me, I’m sure of it.

When we finally dock I can barely move. Between the blisters, the isolation, and the water that makes me feel sick, well, I don’t have any energy.

A pair of guards come to drag me out. My arms are lifted over their shoulders and my feet barely scratch the ground. My arm sockets ache and I can’t even bring myself to care.

The pain becomes too much and I pass out.

…

There’s a lot of shouting around me, lots of noise and shuffling of feet. I think people are sending orders around, commanding where things should be placed and what needs to leave. I groan, just barely opening my eyes. It’s too bright to see anything, not after I’ve gotten used to candles as my only source of light.

My eyes flutter shut again.

…

I yelp as more pain shoots through my body, waking my mind up with a start.

“What is this?” Someone asks, their tone commanding. I try to look up, to orient myself. I know I’m on the floor. My head knocked against it when they tossed me down and my shoulder digs into my cheek. If my head’s pushing into it, that way is probably down.

I tilt my head to the sound of the voice.

“Prince Ozai,” One of the people who threw me says. So this is Ozai, the one looking for the earthbenders. “We have found an airbender.”

“What? Prove it.” The man draws closer. His deep red ropes fill my vision as his face scrunches up in distaste. There might be some curiosity there as well, but the cold lines on his face make it difficult to discern. My eyes are drawn to the little top knot on his head.

I always thought they were funny. Whenever I met one of my Fire Nation friends I would poke at it, making bounce and squish under my finger.

It doesn’t look so fun this time.

“Understood, Prince.” There’s hands behind my back pulling at my restraints. I count four people in the room. Two guards, the prince guy, and me. I might not know where we are or how to get out, but I might be able to evade these three and make a break for it.

With my hands free I breathe in through my nose, deeply. I need to feel the air, listen to how it moves over my skin. My mouth is still gagged, my feet are still tied, but it’s something.

I breath out, launching myself upward and flipping over one guard. The other guard moves forward with fire forming in their palms until I blast it back toward their face with a gust of wind.

I hope it didn’t burn them.

I form a compact ball of air to ride. Even though I can’t sit properly with my legs tied up, it’s enough to send me up the wall and onto the ceiling. 

I didn’t anticipate the wall of fire that appeared in front of my face. I speed into it, burning my already abused skin even further as I lose control of my air ball and drop toward the ground.

…

_ My current host is in trouble, I can feel it. They have called on me twice now in times of paril, yet they haven’t even begun learning the other three elements. It seems like this one will not last long. _

_ I have to look outside, I have to move his body and defend from whatever he’s gotten himself into this time. _

_ There’s a few people. All firebenders, if their clothing choices have stayed the same since Roku’s time. A couple of soldiers and one non-soldier. They send a few blasts of fire at me, so I bend them into a spiraling, concentrated ring around my host. _

_ The humans don’t have any injuries on them, despite my host having more pains than I care to count. His body is stiff to move even with my energy coursing through his meridians.  _

_ It would seem my host has decided not to fight. Even as his consciousness has nearly disappeared, fading into silence, I can hear an echo of his plea to cause no harm. He is an Air Nomad, after all. And one that was born in a time of peace. _

_ I spread my awareness around the world. Though Vaatu has not escaped, the evil in all things has grown in my absence. This is no longer a peaceful time, this is not the time for an Air Nomad to live as the Avatar. _

_ The non-aggressive culture would be detrimental to restoring balance to the world.  _

_ The water tribes are too focused on protection, tradition and the spirits. I do not need a bridge during this cycle, there is no spiritual healing needed as of yet. Maybe in the next cycle it will be more necessary.  _

_ The earth nation may be beneficial. They tend to respond in kind, forcing balance to be regained. But they are reactive. _

_ I need someone proactive. I strike out, hitting the non-soldier with a blast of air-fueled fire. The air within the room swirls, lifting the other two upward and nearly ripping them apart with the force of the wind. I feel a cold grasping at my energy, pulling it back toward me. _

_ My host is fighting me, preventing my protection. _

_ I get hit and I fall. _

_ If he does not want me, if he does not want to survive, then fine. I will find a different host, one that understands the necessity of violence and destruction if it brings a world of peace. _

_ As the host falls I untether my energy from his consciousness, taking his previous lives with me. All that is left within him is what is entirely his. What he has accepted as his truths. He can start again in his cycle of rebirth, I will not carry him through as an extension of Wan. _

_ I leave my host, letting the glowing of his eyes at energy paths fade and disappear. If he manages to survive is up to him. I can already hear a new soul calling to me, one that is ready for power, for a fight. One that does not care for performing needless violence and is focused enough to complete their goal, whatever it may be. _

_ It dwells in this same castle. Those who grow in the so-called Fire Nation tend to make good Avatars for war. _

_ I fly into the body of a mother near-birth. Yes. This child’s soul should do nicely. _

_ I shift around the mother’s energy and into the developing body. Their soul attaches to my energy, joining the fold of the lives I have carried through time. _

_ I continue to watch my surroundings, particularly the way my previous host is treated. He did fall, but he survived. The two soldiers lifted him up and carried him beneath the ground. When they threw him into a room they left. _

_ They did not return, nor did he move, for several hours. _

_ I do hope for the best with him, despite my distaste in his struggle against my actions. Maybe my new host will assist in some way. _

_ I’ll see when they awaken me. _


	3. Light Before the Dark

The sun is partially hidden behind the clouds, making the fires lit in pots lining our palace stand out even more. The light flickers on the guards’ armor, catching my eyes in a glare every few moments. I ignore it. 

Instead, I look toward the bright pink flowers growing along the path. To the insects and animals playing along the grasses. To Zuko who lays on his back, squirming around with the wind and feeling the grass on his bare feet.

When he spots me, he jumps up, running over.

“Mamaaaa, where babbie!” Zuko asks for the hundredth time today. I refuse to think about how many other times over the last few weeks. He’s been growing more and more insistent ever since I told him why it’s getting harder for me to move around.

“They’ll be here soon, love. Just be patient.” My belly is full enough to pop, so they should be coming any day now. My handmaids have been fretting for weeks already, trying to control my diet and exercise and even the amount of time I spend with my son.

I only just managed to escape them after seeing Zuko playing outside in this dreary weather. 

“No! Here now! Where are they?” He pouts, lower lip quivering, as he grips onto my shirt.

“Well, maybe they’re a little shy, don’t you think? I know sometimes you don’t wanna come out when there’s a new person around, right?” I boop his nose softly and he giggles.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I think they’re just a little shy too. They’ll meet you when they’re ready, I promise.”

“Okay Mama.” I bend down and take hold of his hand. There’s a few guards walking around as we stroll through the garden. While I doubt anyone would plan an attack on the current empress, I can’t put it past Ozai to begin planning my death.

We should be safe for now. For as long as his next possible heir is still within me I should be safe.

If he is unsatisfied with the baby… Well.

I’ll have to figure out how to get my children out of the palace. He already warned me after Zuko’s birth that the next has to be a strong bender. I hope for everyones’ sake that they are.

I keep glancing around. A couple of the guards seem distracted. Jittery. Is something going on?

I want to ask what it is. I want to find my handmaid and question her, because no one tells me anything about what’s happening around the castle. I need to know if Azulon is coming home or if Iroh is going on another assignment. I need to prepare my son for whatever is about to happen and how it will affect him. I need to prepare myself.

I don’t ask the guards. They report to Ozai.

I don’t ask my handmaid. She reports to Ozai as well.

Instead I wait until dinner. I listen to the conversations around me, gathering my information by appearing soft and small and submissive.

I am all of those things, even though I should not be.

Ozai has found the Avatar. He will keep him in a cell until the boy dies of old age.

“Why keep ‘live?” Zuko asks, completely innocent in his question. He’s heard that Ozai kills most of his enemies and even some of his friends. Zuko has grown up to expect death and cruelty from his father, though thankfully it hasn’t been directed at Zuko himself yet.

“Why would I kill the Avatar just for him to be reborn elsewhere? It’s better to keep him here, under lock and key, until he has grown old and pathetic in his cage.” Ozai grins nastilly. It’s the type he rarely shows around Zuko.

Zuko doesn't notice, already too absorbed in his meal. I count the few blessings I have.

The person with my grandfather’s soul is living the rest of his life in a dungeon below my home. I won’t even be able to visit him in peace with Ozai keeping me under watch. I likely won’t be able to visit him at all if the guards refuse to let me through under Ozai’s orders.

It might put Zuko in danger to just ask about the Avatar’s well being.

“Can I see?” My baby asks and I freeze. Oh lord, what will Ozai’s response be. 

On one hand it might let me know how the Avatar is and if there’s any hope of helping him, but at what cost? He must be in a horrible state. I don’t want Zuko to see that.

Ozai hums and narrows his eyes in thought. “Yes, that’s a good idea. You and your mother will meet him tomorrow. It will be a good experience.” That’s a threat, I know it.

Zuko giggles. “Yay!” he shouts, gathering the rest of the food on his plate and shoving some into his mouth. He sways back and forth happily.

I look away.

The servants come to clear away the table soon after that. Zuko is taken away by his maids to be prepared for bed while I follow silently behind Ozai. 

The abilities of my unborn child will determine all of our fates. 

…

I don’t get to meet the new Avatar. Instead I do into labor for hours on end. Ozai stopped in during the first hour for a few minutes to overlook everything before he left. He hasn’t returned since. 

Zuko has been by my side most of the day, though he did get taken to meet the Avatar briefly. He holds my hand and rambles about how excited he is to meet his sibling and everything they’ll be able to do together.

The nursemaids humor him and his ideas, encouraging some of the games and guiding him away from things that are too much for a baby. Like swimming.

By the time she comes out she’s bloody and screaming and I’m too exhausted to care.

Little Azula, named after her grandfather Azulon, is placed in my arms as she cries with a vengeance. They wanted to clean her off first, take her out of the room and wipe the blood off her hair and skin, but I don’t allow that. I want my baby girl before her father can come.

My nursemaids go to tell Ozai and Zuko that Azula is alive and well, leaving me alone and in peace with my daughter.

When I look into her eyes I can see a brief flash of blue, so different from her molten gold eyes that I can’t tell if I imagined it.

Ozai is delighted when he first sees her. He says there’s a spark in her eye, that she’ll make a wonderful firebender when she grows older.

I force myself to ignore Zuko’s sadness as Ozai lifts Azula up into the air in happiness. It’s something that he’s never considered with Zuko, and Zuko can already tell there’s a difference even at his young age. 

“Zuko, come sit with me, okay?” I call out to him. Azula will be fine. Ozai doesn’t want to harm her, doesn't want anything to happen to the child who will carry on his legacy. Zuko’s the one in danger, the one I need to watch over very carefully.

“Do you wanna tell me about your day?” I ask him.

“Yeah! I, I, I saw avata.” He starts pulling at my sleeves, moving the edge of one near his mouth before stopping himself. He giggles. “No bite!” When his big, happy eyes stare into mine I smile back, petting his soft hair. It recently got long enough to pull into a ponytail so he can copy his father’s hairstyle.

“What else?” Ozai is staring down at me, already ignoring the child in his arms.

“Hmmm… turtle duck!” 

“Ah, so you went to feed the turtle duck?” He shakes his head ‘no’ furiously.

“Turtle duck!” He makes a small cupping motion with his hands. Oh. There was one that was hurt. A few weeks ago a baby turtle duck was trapped in the tall grasses and I helped move them by cupping my hands and lifting them out of it. Zuko probably did something similar.

I’m deathly aware of Ozai’s watchful eyes. He’s looking for weakness, or any inkling of kindness that my son might have shown. Anything that lets him see Zuko as less of his child and more of mine. If he knows Zuko showed kindness to any creature he will look down on Zuko even more than he already does.

“Oooh, I see.” I don’t say anything else, but I do lift Zuko up onto my lap. It hurts my sore belly, but it’s worth it. He jumps up and snuggles under the blanket, pretending to snore. “Are you sleeping now baby?” He giggles from underneath.

Ozai sets Azula down on me and walks away.

“Zuko, what was the Avatar like?” I ask when we’re safely covered by blankets. The nursemaids have taken Azula away for now. She’s being fitted into clothes appropriate for a princess until it’s time to be fed and I can have her back. 

Most of the unwanted eyes have left my chambers, so it’s as safe as possible when I ask the question.

“He’s old,” Zuko says. “And bald.”

“Is he as old as your father? Or Lord Azulon?” Zuko shakes his head ‘no’. 

“Can I have food?”

“Sure, baby. Who is he old like?”

“Lu Ten.” So he’s very, very young. If he’s bald that means he’s likely an airbender. Either that or he’s gone bald at a very young age, which seems unlikely.

“Thank you for telling me, Zuko. Do you want to get food now?” 

“Yeah!” Zuko struggles to escape from his blankets before landing his chubby feet on the cold floor and rushing to the door.

I follow him out. The cooks will be unhappy with little Zuko rummaging through their drawers. He’s very good at pulling out the towels and dragging them across the floors for people to clean up later.

I can hear his feet heading in the wrong direction as his giggles follow. There’s a quick shout of “Lu Ten!” as his feet pick up the pace.

“Lu Ten! Lu Ten! You back!”

“Hey there, Zuko,” I hear, still walking to where their voices are coming from. Lu Ten has Zuko up in his arms and resting on his hip.

“Hi Auntie,” Lu Ten starts when he sees me. He gives a brief, shallow bow of respect, but Zuko hinders his movements. The young man does remarkably well holding Zuko’s weight as he squirms into a comfortable position.

I nod to him. “Welcome back.”

“I hear Azula was safely born. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Lu Ten!” Zuko shouts, interrupting the awkward conversation. “Food!” Zuko squirms more in his grasp, trying to guide all of us to the kitchen for a bedtime snack.

Being around Lu Ten has always been an interesting ordeal. He insists in being respectful to me as the wife of his uncle, despite the fact that he is the son of the heir to the throne. General Iroh is also difficult. He is a very kind man, but he rejects Ozai and, in extension, rejects me.

They both seem to adore Zuko, though. 

As we walk down the hall I notice a maid following a way behind. It isn’t one of my normal ones. I start to fall behind Lu Ten and Zuko, motioning for them to go on ahead.

The young girl catches up to me looking nervous. “First Princess, Prince Ozai is calling for you.” Ah, so that’s why she’s nervous. A child this young, it’s probably her first time meeting Ozai and dealing with his intensity. 

“Thank you. You may go now.” She bows low down and scrambles away to finish whatever chores she has left.

I glance back at where the two boys are still walking down the hall. Zuko is with Lu Ten. He’ll be safe enough. I wave at my son and he waves back for a moment before talking animatedly to his cousin.

I walk through the silent halls, taking note of the guards that stand perfectly still, nearly statues. Some of the people I recognize, some I don’t, but none of them are here to protect. As I creep closer to Ozai’s looming doors I clench my hand, digging my fingernails into the palm.

Breath in. Breath out. Release all of the tension, all of the emotions. Let go of the bubbling in my stomach that keeps moving upward and upward, nearly choking my lungs and closing my throat. Ignore the taste forming in the back of my mouth that I know won’t disappear if I spit or eat or wash my mouth out with soap. 

Ignore it all and open the doors.

Good.

…

I keep bouncing Zuko on my hip as Auntie turns to leave after talking with the maid who had been trailing after us. Father warned me not to get involved with her and my uncle. Most of the tme, if my father says something, I listen to him. 

Little Zuko isn't part of that group, though, so I can be with him for as long as I want.

“An’ th’n th’ monk’y thing jump-ed and and and it went booom!” Zuko says, throwing his hands wide to emphasize just how big the ‘boom’ was. 

“Wow! That sounds really cool, Zuko. What else happened?” I have no clue what he’s talking about, but the constant rambling is better than anything I can think to talk about.

“Ther was rain’ow an and fire and somethin’ blue!”

“Ooooh, something blue? Cool! Do you know what the blue thing was?”

“Nope!” I laugh a little. After the continuous hours of training my father puts me through, just drilling the basics, around a group of people who only care about me as the future Fire Lord. Well. It’s nice to spend time with my little cousin.

“It wa’ blue like… like th’ guy.” His face turns serious as he nods, confirming his own thoughts. 

“Like what guy?” I ask. It’s probably someone else his mind created or maybe an actor that performed in a play auntie showed him.

“ _ Tha’ _ guy! Blue!”

“Oh!  _ That _ blue guy, I see.” Zuko grins up at me.

“Oh! An’ Asu… Azu… Azua? Azua!”

“Azula? Your new sister?”

“Yeah!”

“What about her?”

“She here! An’ moth’r say shy, but she sleep.”

“Auntie told you she’s shy?”

“Yeah, but not.  _ Sleep _ .”

“Oh, so Auntie told you that she’s shy, but you think it’s that she’s sleepy?” He nods before demanding to be let down. We’re finally in the kitchen and I have to stop him from rummaging through the drawers. 

Ever since he started walking, Zuko’s been an adorable menace. First it was the falling, then the jumping, and now the running without care for where he’s going. I hate that I have to miss most of it, though. I travel with Father around the country to meet the people and learn how to rule alongside him.

When Zuko’s older we can travel around together. I can get him out of this stuffy place and let him loose among the wind and warriors.

“Lu Ten! Up!” Zuko demands, reaching upward. I pull him into my arms so he can point where to go. “There! There!” He leans all of his body weight forward. I nearly lose my grip on him as he guides me to the place where I know they store the sweets. “Wa’er bun.”

“You want a water bun?” I ask. Those taste weird. It’s like congealed water with some flavor pocket inside. Father loves them after practice but I’ve never understood why. 

“Yeah! With nut!”

“What type of nut? Almond? Sea nut?”

“No! Lyee nut!”

“Lyee nut? Um. What does it look like? This big?” I make a small opening with my hands. When he shakes his head ‘no’ I make the opening a little wider. It’s bigger than almonds, nearly the size of a plum. “Do you mean Lychee?”

“Yeah! Lyee nut!”

“Alright, I’ll see if there’s a lychee nut water bun.” All of the foods made in the palace are done by the best of the best, so it’s easy to see through the water buns to the center filling. I look for a nearly white, partially transparent filling among the bright reds, blues, and greens. There’s two sections with similar-looking insides, so one section is probably an ash banana while the other is probably the lychee. I pick the more translucent of the two.

“Here’s your water bun, Zuko!” 

He takes it from my hand before clearly stating “thank you!” and rushing to sit down on a chair to eat. He then proceeds to rip the water bun apart and only eat the lychee inside by scooping it out with his fingers and plopping them in his mouth.

“What are you gonna do with the bun?” I ask, stifling a laugh. His face scrunches up in though before he stares directly at me.

“You eat?” He questions me with such an innocent look in his eye that I can’t refuse him. That’s probably what Auntie does anytime he’s eating part of the water bun

“Okay, I’ll eat, I’ll eat.” I pick up one of the pieces before plopping it in my mouth. It’s a tad chewy and tastes like absolutely nothing, just as I remember it.

Ew.

“Think Azua want?” Do I think a little baby will want something they need to chew on that has a funny texture without anything that can be considered taste? No.

Instead I say “I think Azula needs to become big before she can eat anything.” It sounds better and Zuko doesn’t think he forced me to eat this… stuff.

“Hm… kay!” He starts singing a funny little song that’s more sounds than any comprehensible words. I continue forcing the dessert down my throat.

Before long my weeks of traveling start to catch up with me. I yawn, grinning when Zuko automatically does the same.

“Let’s head to bed, okay?” I ask, though it’s a bit closer to instructions. 

“Are you gonna take me?” He asks. I might as well. It’s that or figure out where his maids go while he’s under Auntie’s watch, and that sounds so much harder.

“Yeah, sure. Up you go!” He makes himself comfy on my hip again as I walk us both out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time - "Good job, Azula.” Father gives me a nod and I smile. “Tell the kitchen staff what you want to eat tonight. I have more work to complete.”
> 
> Let me know what y'all think so far!


	4. Young Azula

The guards are changing again. 

I smile at a couple of them. One of them nearly waves at me. It seems like he likes children since that’s his automatic response. Good, those types of guards are always best. I wait until the guards leave to lean over to Zuzu who’s writing stuff on some papers. Father was annoyed with how much time Zuzu was spending playing outside with me, so now I play in here sometimes while Zuzu works.

Zuzu acts as though he doesn’t like it when I distract him. It’s understandable. Father is angrier with him if he doesn’t complete everything, and when Father is angry he doesn’t let Zuzu do things that Zuzu likes.

I’m bored. I’m bored and the guards refuse to break their code and play with me instead of being boring adults. They’re boring adults that have to be afraid of my Father and consequences even though they should be listening to me and what I want since I’m also in charge of them.

But if they refuse to play with me, I have someone else that might be fun. It is playtime, after all, and Zuzu is right here.

“They won’t protect us,” I tell Zuzu. It’s not true, but Zuzu doesn’t need to know that. I’ve seen him, how he behaves while there’s people around. He sometimes looks around the room like I do. Like Mother does. He knows just as well as I do that Mother believes this place isn’t safe. I know it is, I know that I won’t be harmed here, I know Mother and Zuzu are wrong to think they’re in danger. But it’s amusing to see his reactions.

“Yes they will, Azula. That’s what they’re paid to do.” He mutters under his breath, still working on his dumb assignment. He barely knows what he’s writing, it’s not like he’s actually that smart. Father says he should become a palace guard, and I agree. It would be fun to see Zuzu watching his every action like that. Even more afraid of punishment if it can be freely given without excuse.

I hum and sprawl over his bed.

“They aren’t paid to protect us, silly,” I sing out, staring up at the ceiling. I hear a short exhale of breath. Not the reaction I want. “They’re paid to keep you in here. You aren't allowed to leave, you know.” I roll over and stare at the back of his head. I bet he can feel it.

“Azula. Stop. I just need to finish my writing and then we can go outside.” He stays in that hunched position at the desk, scribbling away.

He doesn’t want to yield today. Well, that’s no fun.

Maybe the new guards are more fun to be around.

I walk outside of his room and down the hall a little way. The guards should be turning around the corner within a minute if they are on schedule. If they aren’t, well. Seeing me will be a surprise.

Two of them show up, nodding their heads to acknowledge me. Good enough for now. They weren’t late, so they aren’t acting afraid of consequences or trying to appeal to me. Instead one of them seems confident, more than the regular guard that shows up around here.

“What happened?” I ask her, tiling my head. Mother said it looks cute when children do that. If she answers I just need to smile a little, reward her for doing what I asked.

“Uh,” she starts. I haven’t really said anything yet and already her confidence is falling apart. Pathetic. I hold in a sign. Maybe the guards aren’t interesting enough, but if she tells me what’s happening I might find something to do.

“Well?” I should tap my foot. Uncle Iroh does that when he’s impatient, and it tends to make people talk faster. I don’t know why, it’s not intimidating or anything. Father doesn’t do it, and people already tell him everything they can.

“I just don’t know what you are asking about, Princess.” She bows down. I can’t even look at her eyes now. I have no clue what she’s thinking. Ugh.

“Don’t bother. I’m bored already.” Boring. So boring. Why aren’t there people in this castle that can speak properly? I could go to Father. He isn’t boring. He’s able to show me new stuff and his eyes never drop like the boring peoples’ do.

I walk to his meeting room, leaving the two guards and Zuzu behind.

The doors are closed, but I know a way around them. The small vent, just barely big enough for me to fit through, is placed perfectly. Wandering around doing nothing for interesting for hours every day has its uses, even if I hate it.

Once in the room I stay along the edges, just observing and staying out of sight. Father sits at the throne of the second prince, his fire burning in front of him. It’s a brilliant display that keeps his advisors on the main floor. Most of them are standing firm, with their legs planted shoulder width apart as they should be and their hands resting clasped behind their backs. Most of them are standing straight.

One of them toward the middle is leaning to his right side, favoring the left. 

One of them toward the back has constant twitching in his fingers. He keeps glancing around at the others before looking at Father again.

One of them at the front is facing forward, perfectly still and standing properly, but there’s something wrong. His knuckles are turning white.

It could be interesting to tell Father.

No, not yet. Interrupting a meeting means upsetting Father. Upsetting Father means punishment. Those are annoying.

Instead I wait.

At the end of the meeting, as everyone else is walking out, Father gets rid of his flames that were lighting the chamber. Uncle Iroh walks in at that same moment, grinning at Father and not even paying attention to the fact that Father’s flames are no longer raging in their pots.

I don’t like that.

Father nods his greeting to Uncle before Uncle nods back. This time the room ignites with Uncle’s flames. I walk up to the thrones as Uncle’s bright yellow-white heat fills the air. It’s hotter than Father’s.

“Greetings, Uncle Iroh, Father,” I start, bowing at the waist with my hands positioned in a wushu salute. 

“Welcome, Azula. How did you find your way in here?” I straighten from my bow at Uncle’s question. 

“I was let in after Father’s meeting. I am sorry for not speaking sooner.” I carefully speak the words Father has taught me. Every sound needs to be perfect, even the ones that are hard.

“There is no need. Why have you come?” His tone is light, willing to accept any answer despite the direct question he asked.

“I wish to speak with Father.” Uncle now believes I came in after the meeting. I can not talk about the behavior of that person in front of him. 

Father continues to sit for a moment, glancing at Uncle before he finally stands up to speak with me. “Come, Azula,” he says. We leave the room and enter a more private area of the palace. “What is it?” 

“Your advisor with the red band. His hands were turning white.” 

“The one toward the front of the group?”

“Yes. And at the middle.”

“Kazuto. Yes, it would seem as though he is planning something. Good job, Azula.” He gives me a nod and I smile. “Tell the kitchen staff what you want to eat tonight. I have more work to complete.” He leaves the room with robes swishing behind him.

Yay! It’s time for flaming chicken goose skewers! 

…

“Why are we having  _ this _ ,” Zuzu asks Mother quietly.

We’ve been in the dining area for a few minutes now. Father is late and we’re waiting. I want to start eating but Father doesn't like that. He also doesn’t like Zuzu complaining to Mother.

“Quiet down, Zuko. I know you don’t like it but there are other dishes you can eat.” I snicker. I forgot Zuzu doesn't like meat. “Azula, what are you laughing at?” Mother questions. Her voice is hard.

“Of course they would make something Zuzu doesn't like. They don’t care if he eats.”

“Azula! Why would you think that!”

“What? It’s true.”

“Zuko, don’t listen to her. I’m sure tomorrow there will be lots of foods that you like.” Mother looks at me. She knows I asked for these foods.

Not my fault Zuzu’s belly is so weak.

“How about you two tell me about your days while we wait for your Father?” Mother says, looking between the two of us. Her gaze lingers on Zuzu.

Zuzu starts. “Father had me planning an attack on a small Earth Kingdom village,” he starts. So that’s what all those papers were for. “I was reading reports and looking at the geography. He wanted a plan done by tonight, but… I haven’t finished it yet.”

Zuko’s leg is bouncing, making his entire body shake. His skin is a little clammy, too. Not like it was earlier in the day. That wouldn’t have happened if he just played with me.

“That’s okay, Zuko. It takes time.”

“I don’t know~ pretty sure it’s easy to come up with attacks.” Father’s boring advisors can do it, so it must not be that hard. They’re pretty dumb.

“Yes it is! It takes a lot of reading and thinking!” Zuzu says before he can control himself. His eyes fly open a little after he finishes. He didn’t mean to say that. If Father was here Zuzu would be punished.

I smile.

“Maybe for you.”

He stays silent until Father joins us for dinner, and Mother doesn't even try to talk with me. Whatever. It’s not like she would care that I helped Father today. I don’t even want to tell her. Besides, Father already let me choose the meal.

Mother keeps looking at Zuko, looking a little sad. How dumb. If he can’t handle this much then Father will keep destroying him. I’m just helping keep him alive. That’s more than Mother can say, she just keeps him weak and boring.

By the time Father joins us, Zuzu’s skin is back to normal. I smile at him, locking eyes until he looks away. 

“Hello, Father,” I greet. Zuzu follows suit. Mother only nods and Father’s eyes narrow at her.

The servants bring out our meal, finally, and I cut off pieces of the rabbit wolf to dish onto my plate. Zuzu only takes a small piece for himself, but he only picks at it on his plate.

“We will be getting rid of advisor Kazuto soon enough,” Father starts. So the issue is already resolved. I smile into my plate, though Mother freezes her motions for the briefest moment before continuing to lift the food into her mouth.

Mother must have known him.

“What happened?” She asks. Father’s grin turns bloodthirsty.

“He was conspiring against me - thought I wouldn’t notice. No matter. He’ll spend some time in the dungeon as I decide what to do with him.” This time it’s Zuzu who looks up. “He won’t be able to do anything to us now.”

“Father, can I join your meetings more often?” I ask. I was able to be helpful this time. I can be helpful again in the future.

“No, Azula. That would be…” he glances over me for a moment. “Inappropriate.” 

I hum and keep eating. No matter. Father has his reasons. 

“Zuko. I expect a report for the attack on my desk before you go to bed. I presume you have planned the strategy by now.” Zuko flinches and I kick him. Stupid, you can’t flinch in front of Father.

“Of course, Father,” he responds. Good.

“Good,” Father says, repeating my thoughts. Of course, he doesn't know that poor Zuzu is nowhere near finished.

Looks like I won’t be able to play with him tonight. There’s his stupid assignment getting in the way. I’m sure there’s someone else who is willing. Well. Maybe not willing, but it’s not like they can refuse.

“Ursa,” Father addresses Mother. “It is time for Azula to start learning the proper etiquette. Find a dance instructor and someone for her conversation skills.”

“Yes, Ozai.” Mother bows her head a little, giving respect to the person who wants me to learn  _ dance _ of all things.

It doesn’t really matter. They’ll only stay as long as I want them to stay.

I should go watch the soldiers train after dinner. It will be better than sitting in Zuzu’s room as he finishes working.

Once I am dismissed from the table I run out of the room, not waiting for Mother, Father or Zuzu to even stand up. 

There's a shortcut in the walls leading to the outer wall of the castle near where new soldiers train. It only takes 5 minutes or so instead of 30 to get there. None of the long winding hallways to slow me down. This one isn’t accessible from the outside, though. 

I’ll have to go the long way when coming back.

As expected, there are still a large group of new recruits drilling their basics. Flames go flying from their fists at the exact same moment, though one looks like he’s about to fall over from the force of his blasts.

This would be so much more useful than dance lessons.

I start to copy them in secret, hidden from view. Just like every other time I come and watch, I take the soldier that receives the least criticisms and minic them. 

I stand facing forward, legs in resting position, before raising my left hand. First my hand pushes to the right, my right leg following and twisting the left leg to point toward the right. Now, in bow position, my left hand continues to push forward, mimicking the moment that fire flies from the soldier’s palm.

I keep copying his motions. The left pulls back in a fist while the right palm pushes forward, releasing more flames. I shift my weight, moving more only the left side and turning. Once my feet are in the opposite position as I started I push my right hand forward, in line with my left leg. My left palm comes up to overtake my right, twisting around it as my right hand pulls back in a fist.

They continue drilling that set until I get tired enough to sit down.

This would be so much more fun if I could firebend already.

I continue watching as they switch to heel kicks. They switch between the left and right side, keeping their fists in position at their hips. With each kick fire flies from their feet. I catch my breath and join.

The group continues the sun sets and twilight becomes night. There are pots with fires lit inside to light the way back into the castle and I follow the paths I memorized through all the times I travelled them.

I should visit Zuzu. See if he’s done by now.

My body gets more and more tired the more I walk, so I change plans and head straight to my room. 

I can’t wake up late after all. 

There are a handful of servants waiting for me when I return to my room. One of them heats the bath, one removes my top-knot to comb it, and another removes my robes and presents my nightwear. 

None of them speak. They never do, no matter how much I poke fun. Mother chose them specifically for me after I forced the previous ones to abandon their posts. She knows that responding just makes it more fun. Now these people do, too.

They’re still easy to command.

I step into the hot water, letting out a small sigh. It feels nice on my sore muscles. They gently scrub at my body and massage my scalp. I relax into it.

My mind starts to drift into sleep.

When I finally wake up it’s the next morning. The maids must have moved me into bed on their own.

I could wait for my maids to dress me, or I could just get myself ready enough to walk around…

I hop out of bed and rummage through my clothes, finding something simple to put on but formal enough to not draw extra attention to the minimal effort I put in.

I wander outside my room, sending a sharp grin to the guards that are standing there. Both of them are alert and still don’t move to acknowledge me. I’ll figure them out soon enough.

My wandering takes me to the garden. Zuzu is already out there sitting below a tree. He seems to be nearly asleep, but his breath hasn’t evened out enough. He’s just closing his eyes. It’s dumb, but at least he isn’t dumb enough to actually fall asleep where people can see. I silently move next to him, trying to keep the grass from crunching under my feet with careful steps. 

He startles when I plop down next to him.

“What are you doing Azula.” He sounds tired.

“Oh, nothing. Unlike you it doesn't take me hours to finish a single thing.”

“It doesn’t take me hours. It’s just… planning something is more difficult than other things.”

“It still takes you forever. Did you manage to finish?” How careful do I need to be today.

“Yeah… it was really late.” He’s silent for a little bit, but his hand twitches. “Father says I shouldn’t eat breakfast.”

“Well, that is the punishment for soldiers when things are late.” Zuzu stands up, throwing his arms into the air.

“But I’m not a soldier! And I’m not gonna be a soldier!” His eyes are wide with frustration. I lean forward, putting an elbow on my knee.

“Well, no, you aren’t. Not yet. I mean, Uncle Iroh is a general, even though he’s first in line to be the Fire Lord after Grandfather dies. Lu Ten is a soldier. Honestly, I’m surprised you aren’t already training to fight.” I stay quiet for a moment, watching what Zuzu does. His fists are gripped tight at his sides.

“Of course, you aren’t a firebender anyway, so who knows if there’s any point making you a soldier.”

“I’ll learn!” He shouts. So I was right.

“You can’t just learn to firebend, Zuzu. It’s a talent. Only the lucky ones get it, and you aren’t lucky. Now come on, let’s do something else.” I stand up, leading the way to the pond that Zuzu likes for some reason. He’s always there feeding the turtle ducks.

“Did you bring bread?” He asks for some reason. Of course not.

“No. Did you?” He shakes his head no. I sit down on the grass anyway. A couple of them come to greet us, swimming toward the edge of the small pond. Zuzu feeds them too much that they’re dependent on him bringing food.

There’s a small rock near my foot. One that’s the size of a bread chunk and about the same color. 

“I wonder,” I start, already reaching for the rock. Turtle ducks know that bread is safe to eat because they’ve eaten it before. They know the size, shape and color of bread pieces that Zuzu rips off for them. If I take the rock and toss it…

I throw it up into the air and one turtle duck opens their mouth to catch it. It misses and the stone falls into the water.

“Azula!” Zuzu scolds. “What if it ate it? And choked?” He sounds like Mother.

“Oh please, it’s fine,” I say. Who cares if it choked. If it’s dumb enough to eat a rock it deserves to die an early death, that simple. Besides, it’s not like I was trying to kill the dumb thing.

“I’m gonna tell mom.” 

“Tell her what? That I didn’t kill a turtle duck? That I was messing with a rock and it went into a pond? What, Zuzu?” HIs face spasms while he’s thinking. Ha. “That’s what I thought. Now come on, help me with my cartwheels.”

…

Uncle has been coming around more and more. He keeps giving me dumb things like dolls and water colors while Zuzu gets toy soldiers and maps to help planning.

I snap the tray in half and throw the doll out the window when he isn’t looking.

He keeps grinning at me while I sit in the corner. Mother says I have to stay here and talk with cousin Lu Ten and Uncle while they’re still in the palace. Something about them going on a long trip soon.

Zuzu is happily playing with Lu Ten. He’s riding on Lu Ten’s shoulders, shouting happily and loudly. Father and Uncle are talking as well. Uncle is smiling and waving his arms around in ridiculous gestures. Based on Father’s frown, I assume he isn’t interested in what Uncle is saying.

Mother left the room a while ago, leaving me here with these boring people with nothing to amuse myself. There aren’t even servants to talk with.

Zuzu tries to drag me into a game. He wants to act out  _ Love Amongst the Dragons  _ again like the dork he is.

Lu Ten says that I can’t be Noren. That I have to be the Dragon Empress who just sat around doing nothing the entire time.

I can’t think of a reason to refuse since it’s exactly what I’m currently doing, so I don’t resist. It isn’t worth it. Mother would just scold me for being unsociable and un-princess-like when Zuzu whines to her like he always does.

Every so often Uncle looks in our direction. There’s always a wide smile on his face, one that shows every emotion he’s feeling. He’s like Zuzu in that way. Nothing’s hidden, everything is there for people to read and use.

Stupid.

He’s supposed to be the next Fire Lord, but he doesn’t even protect himself when people are around him. He doesn’t protect his son even when Zuzu is so close to cousin’s neck.

Father says it’s always the people closest to you that you need to suspect. It’s why I’m never allowed to be within arm's length.

I’m half asleep by the time Zuzu - Noren - wins against Lu Ten - the Dark Water Spirit.

I know it’s improper, but there’s  _ nothing for me to do _ if I’m just the dumb Dragon Empress. I don’t have anyone to fight, I don’t have any rules to make. It’s boring. They’re making me boring.

It’s a blessing when everyone finally disappears and leaves me to be by myself. Sure, I still need to find  _ someone  _ to amuse me, but it’s better.

Now that Zuzu isn’t around Lu Ten, maybe I can actually play with him.

I walk around, heading to Zuzu’s room to talk. It’s already dark and training is over before I can even try and watch them. Normally by now Zuzu is in his room getting ready for bed. 

Normally I’m doing the same.

But I’ve been bored all day and can feel a strange buzzing in my body that means I haven’t done enough to go to bed quite yet.

So I go to Zuzu. 

The only problem is that Zuzu isn’t in his room. He isn’t in the kitchen getting food, he isn’t in Mother’s room. Zuzu doesn’t like exploring like I do. He doesn’t look for passageways behind paintings or tunnels under burning fires.

Well. If he’s dead I’ll know by tomorrow.

…

Zuzu learns to firebend.

It’s barely anything and we can only just notice but he can firebend and  _ I was wrong _ . I was wrong and Zuko learned before I could.

Mother praises him and Father smiles just a little.

No.

Zuzu can’t be better than me.

“Oh, Azula, don’t be upset,” Mother says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I had left the room. She must have followed.

How dare she act like I’m Zuko, like I’m weak and anything Zuko does will hurt me.

“You’ll learn to firebend, too. Zuko’s just a little older than you, so he figured it out first. You still have a couple years.” Dumb, dumb, dumb. I don’t have a couple years, I need to learn now! Zuko can’t just. No. I won’t allow it.

“Thanks, Mother,” I say, smiling at her. 

“You’re welcome, Azula. Now come on, let’s go back inside. You can sit on my lap if you’d like.”

Weak.

I walk back into the room and watch Zuko’s hands as they shift the fire. As they feel it’s movement and take control. The way his breath changes the fire, his chest expanding at the same moment the fire grows. His eyes as they stare directly into the flame, and the way the fire lights his eyes to a bright golden.

The way his twitching finger directs the swishing of the tips.

I need to be more perfect. I can’t fall behind an spark-eater like Zuzu.

Mother keeps touching me. It’s a hand on my shoulder or on my head, comforting me for being  _ weak _ for being  _ useless _ for everything she praises Zuko for. She’s trying to make me pathetic.

Mother finally releases me after a few more minutes and I run off to the nearest fire that’s lit out of view. It’s far back on a path, in an area I know Zuzu doesn’t explore. A place where Mother and Zuzu won’t be able to find me.

I breathe in. Deeply. Then out. Then open my eyes. 

Nothing.

I do it again. And again. I wait to feel the heat on my skin, I take that heat and imagine it moving around my body. I can feel it moving around my body. I can see it in my mind’s eye, moving in a spiral around me. Shifting the strands of my hair. I can feel it, almost like wind as the heat pushes the air around.

I can feel it singe my skin. I twitch my fingers, controlling the tips. I can see them shift, their bright orange tips falling under my control.

When I open my eyes I know.

It was my imagination.

It’s okay. I’ll get it soon. I have to. I’m perfect, the child born lucky.

I’m way better than those soldiers, than Zuzu, than anyone else within this palace or outside of it.

I keep practicing until my top knot comes undone. Until it’s getting dark outside and people can only see me in the light of the fire. Father says firebenders’ power comes from the sun. That midday is when they’re strongest.

I should go to bed. I can always join the soldiers in the morning and practice their positions, I just need to sleep. 

Tomorrow I’ll figure out how to bend.

Tomorrow comes and I find my maids already in my room. There’s a new girl, one that’s in training. One that’s left to practice on me in order to be perfect for Mother. She grips my hair, pulling it upward without using the comb.

My fingers dig into my legs as my smile is as serine as I’ve trained it to be.

“You’re really good at this,” I start as she digs a pin into my scalp. “It’s a shame you’ll never really be accepted.” She flinches, pulling at my hair before apologizing. 

She stays quiet.

It’s really boring when people warn others about me.

“I mean. It must have been difficult for a commoner to make it here, especially one as plain as you are. You must be  _ really _ good at cleaning. But it doesn't matter. Mother only accepts nobles as her maids. Dirty blood isn’t her style. It isn’t anyone’s, really. But we do try so hard to be  _ kind _ .” It’s all a lie. Mother only accepts commoners, she knows nobles are after her head.

They don’t like that a commoner from the backcountry is the First Princess.

The servant manages to stay silent.

Boring.

They finish dressing me, so I head outside. There must be something fun somewhere. For some reason the soldiers aren’t practicing yet today, so my morning plans are gone. Zuzu is missing from his room, so I can’t play with him. Mother is busy looking for people to dictate my life and activities, so I don’t want to be around her.

Father doesn’t want me in meetings.

I head to the garden, to the tree that Zuzu rests under and the pond where we feed the turtle ducks. Along the flowers that Mother admires and the stone path that I hop along, only touching the tips of the stones with the ball of my foot.

My left foot hits the stone, springing me forward onto my right foot. I keep going down the path, challenging myself to go farther, stay in the air longer, be better. 

I’m almost at the pond when I trip.

Flat on my face, with my hair breaking out of my top knot and my knees skidding on the stone and dirt.

NO! NONONONONO! Stupid god damn stone, stupid god damn dirt, stupid god damn garden!

“RAAAHG!” I shout, gripping the grass under my hand. It scratches at my palm, irritating my skin. NO! I rip out a chunk of it, chucking it into the pond. A piece of rock flies with it. One of the stones lifted out of the ground when I threw it, hitting one of the turtle ducks straight in the head.

It squawks, turning around in confusion with a small cut over it’s beak leading up over the eye to the crown of its head.

I laugh.

That stupid dumb pathetic thing finally knows what it’s worth. Not food, nothing from us. The stupid thing deserves to be it’s stupid self. 

I keep laughing as heat fills my body, setting me on fire. 

I keep laughing as someone rams into me from behind, pushing me to the ground.

“Azula! Azula, are you alright?” It’s Mother’s voice. Mother’s concerned. I keep laughing. “Azula! Did you get burned?” What a dumb question. “Oh, please be okay. Why are you laughing? Azula!”

I look at her, the concern on her dumb face and the fire raging behind her.

The tree that Zuzu likes to sit under is burning, turning to ash. Only that tree, nothing around it feels the bright orange flames.

I laugh harder.

Zuzu’s tree is being destroyed, the stupid turtle duck is bleeding, and  _ I created fire _ . 

I’m better than Zuzu.

Ha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if there's spelling errors or confusing parts. My beta didn't have time to go through it before posting.
> 
> Also, my update schedule will change to every two weeks, probably. I only have one more pre-written chapter and school is murdering me rn, as it will continue to do for the entire year.


	5. A Strange Prisoner

Zuzu keeps going missing.

It’s not all the time. Just. Every week for a few hours I can’t find him. 

I didn’t care about it much at first. Between learning more about the guards, figuring out my bending, and mimicking soldiers as they train my free time kept filling up.

Mother keeps hiring the etiquette teachers after the old ones quit. On the days before she can find new ones I have enough time to bother Zuzu, and that’s when I really notice.

He comes back covered in dust and smelling weird, but I’m never there to see where he disappears to.

I want to know.

But that means waiting around and watching Zuzu secretly until he goes to wherever he goes, and that’s boring. 

One of the guards recently had a baby. He always stays silent when he’s noticed I’m around, but when I stay hidden he rambles on and on about it to the other guards. It’s easy to follow him around, staying silent and sneaking through the corridors unnoticed by anyone.

I don’t really care about the guard or child, but it’s easiest to label people if they’re consistent. 

At first I could only recognize him by his rambling about ‘her cute baby feet and fingers and they just grip around mine’ when he walked passed. Now I can tell by his gate, his shoulders and height and the way his left foot angles ever so slightly to the right with every step. The way his armor is fastened and the way he shifts his body positioning when someone above him walks by. 

I’ve memorized who he is, I can track him even when it’s night and there’s only a hint of light silhouetting him. From the way he moves when walking and the sound of his footsteps.

I can pinpoint who he is in a crowd, and when he wanders around in the dark I can tell exactly who is trying to kill me.

I wasn’t sure what it was at first. This is my first time dealing with an assassin. I just thought this man acted a bit strange. Glances lasting too long, too much curiosity, watching my schedule too closely. Nothing that hasn’t happened before, but this was more persistent.

So I started to watch him back.

It doesn’t really matter anymore, though. I didn’t expect an assassination attemp. Mother did warn us, of course, but I thought I would be safe. Father isn’t disappointed in me.

After escaping from my room using the passageway under the bed I ran through the hallways searching for anyone that wouldn’t harm me. There were a couple of guards, but they had talked to the guy.

They might be in on it.

Probably not - I haven’t noticed anything strange coming from them - but the possibility is enough to keep me away. Instead I avoid them, traveling between rooms and passageways and keeping on the move. I just have to keep it up until morning. Then I can find Father and tell him what’s going on.

He’ll take care of the assassin.

Turns out there’s even more secret places to travel through, I just needed firebending to find them. 

I shoot a small flare onto an image of flames just above a cabinet. The symbol lights up, opening an entrance large enough for a grown adult to crawl through. I pull out some of the drawers in the cabinet, just the ones I can reach, and then I step into them. It takes a little bit to work all the way up to the top but I make it, breathing a little hard.

Climbing trees is so much easier than this.

The entrance is still open by the time I make it to the top.

I walk inside.

This isn’t a path that I’ve tried before, but the pictures that open always have fire as the focus. I might have burned a few paintings to discover that, but Father was impressed by my show of power. Mother lectured me, but she doesn't have bending and has never learned some paintings are more than just stupid paintings. Some of them have  _ purpose _ .

This one, like so many of the other tunnels, is made of stone. There’s cobwebs in some areas but it’s clean enough. Maybe people use and clean it, maybe the paintings keep it sealed off enough that nothing really manages to get inside.

Either way, it isn’t nice enough that I don’t have to change clothes afterward. They always get dusty and crumpled.

I carry a flame in my hand as I walk. It flickers on the stone, sending shadows dancing through the already spooky night.

It’s been a long day and I only expected to sleep at the end of it. This isn’t necessarily my ideal. He’s lucky I’m not older. That my flames aren’t hotter or stronger, that I haven’t drilled the fighting stances into my head. A couple more weeks and I would demolish him.

At the same time, it’s so much more satisfying to avoid him, make him search and believe he’s gone unnoticed before his world comes crashing down.

Yes, I think this is better.

I keep moving, walking along the tunnel, keeping my eyes and ears open. There’s a few sounds echoing through some of the scattered entrances. I start heading toward Zuzu’s room. I don’t believe there are any exits directly into his room, but there’s at least two close by.

I focus on my flame as I walk. It’s orange. A bright orange, but mere orange. Uncle’s flame burn yellow, sometimes white. It’s the hottest flame I’ve seen in the palace. Hotter than Father’s. Hotter than Grandfathers.

My flame will burn white, I know it. Zuzu won’t be able to get past orange.

Speaking of Zuzu, I can hear his voice as a soft whisper through the echoing halls. He’s mumbling to himself - a bad habit that he hasn’t managed to fix, that spark-eater. Father says mumbling is a sign of weakness, that talking to yourself means you’re unfit to live.

I agree, to an extent. Why would you put on a show of weakness if it doesn’t matter? But mumbling around people listening in can be very useful.

It’s why most of my old maids no longer work at the palace. Or at all.

Zuzu’s murmurs keep getting closer. Closer than they should be, considering he’s normally in his room preparing to sleep at this point.

I’m not close enough to his room to hear him.

He keeps getting louder - still at a whisper, though - so I extinguish my flames and backtrack.

Maybe I can finally figure out where Zuzu’s been going. 

Maybe it’s a good thing that the assassin came after me tonight. There’s no way I would have waited in the tunnels for him.

I always thought he was too scared to wander around like this. All the times I told him about secret passages he’d avoid me or make a dumb excuse about ‘Father will get upset’ or ‘Grandfather is here, we can’t just leave’ or ‘Azula, that’s a rabbit snake nest, you can’t go in there.’

The rabbit snakes aren’t even dangerous. They’re kinda cute, unless they’re the red ones.

And yet this cowering fire ferret managed to find an entrance and is actually exploring it. He managed without me showing him. I’m almost impressed. If only he learned to stop his incessant muttering and to  _ stay quiet _ for Agni’s sake. His shuffling feet echo around the concrete walls far more than he probably expects.

I always make sure to travel silently. Clearly Zuzu doesn't understand that the tunnels are for undetected movement.

He probably doesn’t have an assassin after him, not like I do. If he’s making that much noise he probably isn’t scared or trying to escape. He’s dragon-bait, but not that much of one.

I wait for him to pass my turn-off, going deeper into the castle. Of course I follow him. Who cares about the dumb assassin waiting for me to show up, following Zuzu will be so much more fun. And probably won’t get me killed. And I’ll finally learn what’s so important that he hasn’t told me about it yet.

There’s no down side, other than the fact that we’re literally going down flights of stairs to reach wherever he’s heading. They’re circling steps, so I don’t need to stay too far behind him. He can’t see me, and he’s making enough noise by himself to cover up my soft footsteps.

There are a lot of stairs, though. They just keep going and going and my legs get tired, but I’m used to that from practicing stances and kicks all the time. Zuzu keeps leading me through all the twists and turns that I’ve never explored, somehow managing to know where he’s going. 

We end up in the cells. It’s below the palace, in a place no one goes unless they’re under orders to. A place I never would have expected Zuzu would come to. Not with its cold air and dreary look. 

He didn’t go to the general prisoners area, though. There aren’t people talking or moaning or moving around. It’s quiet. Zuzu goes into the singular room, opening the door and closing it right behind him as I watch from the exit of the tunnel. 

He really does need to work on his perception abilities.

I stay where I am for a moment, waiting to see if he leaves the room. He shouldn’t know anyone in prison. Any of our maids are either sent away or killed if they’ve done something Father doesn’t like. Not imprisoned in a cell where they have the chance of influencing Zuzu or I.

Whoever’s in there must be really, really interesting.

I pull up a chair, one that guards must use to sit on for long shifts that must have stopped at some point. Or are only irregularly done. Either way, the place is empty and the chair is free to use as a step stool. 

There’s a small window looking into the room. Zuzu is sitting at the edge of the cell, right next to the bars. He’s acting excited and happy, the same way he acts around Mother when she praises him. He doesn't act like that around anyone else. He’s not supposed to. That’s how he makes Mother love him, by making her seem special.

There’s no reason to do that around this man who’s locked up, who’s probably been locked up for a long time.

The man has dirty, uncombed hair going down to his shoulders. His muscles look pathetic and there’s not much fat on him. The bones are poking up at his skin and making it look unhealthy. His skin is pale, so I know he hasn’t been in the sun for months at least, probably longer. 

It’s a little like Mother’s skin when she refuses to leave her chambers for a couple of weeks, but more intense.

There’s some blue markings on his skin, little arrows that poke through his sleeves onto his hands. Those same patterns reach onto his feet and forehead, though the forehead is blocked somewhat by his hair and bruising. He’s smiling at Zuzu, though. It’s not like Mother’s smile or Uncle’s or Lu Ten’s or anyone in the castle. 

I don’t know what it means and it’s annoying.

Zuzu’s just rambling on and on about his practice and lessons and what Mother and him did today. When a tiny, tiny flame lights in his palm the man congratulates him and just. It’s wrong.

That flame is  _ weak _ and  _ pathetic _ and nothing Zuzu should be proud of. His tiny flames mean nothing. He can’t even control it right. The flames keep flickering like they do without a bender directing them. They’re just  _ sitting  _ there but that man acts so.. so  _ proud _ .

I don’t like it.

I grit my teeth, pulling the chair away from the door and climbing back into the tunnel. 

If I backtrack a little there’s an opening in a different direction. It doesn't lead to Zuko’s chambers. I don’t know where it leads. But it’s enough off Zuko’s path that he won’t notice passing me. He won’t notice if I go and talk with that man after he’s done.

I’m perfectly content waiting if I know for certain I’ll find what I’m looking for. Now that I know this man exists, that Zuzu  _ likes  _ him for some reason, I know exactly where my goal is.

I get sleepy waiting for Zuzu to leave. The pitch black of the tunnel doesn’t help with the passage of time. There’s nothing for me to do but sit there and wait.

It’s boring, but it’ll be worth it.

Zuzu finally walks past. I can faintly hear him as his footsteps get slowly louder, reaching a peak and then fall silent again. I move forward once his steps are entirely out of earshot. It takes a little fumbling as I shuffle around on the concrete. First I burn some of the dirt off my skin and brush off the cobwebs.

There’s no light, no sound, no nothing by the time I make it to the exit of the tunnel and back into that room. I use my flames to light the way, the bright orange dancing on the walls and turning everything a soft color. 

I open the door and walk inside, even though the handle is a reach upward and I have to stand on my tiptoes to do it.

The man looks up at my glowing palm and smiles.

“Hi there,” he starts, barely reacting to the fact that a princess is in front of him.

“Who are you?” I ask. There’s the barest smile on his lips. My flames keep flickering until I force them under control. The stable light shows the gleam shining in his eyes.

“I’m Aang,” he starts, voice a little rough but still cheerful. “It’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?” I don’t say anything. “Um. Okay. What are you doing here?” His brow furrows. It’s like he’s trying to read me. I don’t like it.

“I’m curious.” His smile is back.

“You’re really good with that flame, huh.” That’s a dumb thing to say. Of course I’m good, I’m going to be the best bender. I can’t just be weak with it.

“This is nothing.” The man favors Zuzu. He thinks Zuzu is good with fire bending, that Zuzu is impressive. I could tell. 

If that’s all it takes to impress him, there’s no reason for me to stay here. He’ll be boring, and I already have enough of that with regular people. 

“So you were left to rot here, huh.” The man smiles again, though his eyes look a little darker as he looks up toward the ceiling. 

“Yeah, something like that.” His smile stays. I don’t like it.

“So? What’d you do?” I lean forward. It’s not even difficult to show interest, to shift my body position to make him think I’m paying attention. I really am curious. He must have done something to end up in a singular cell, away from even other prisoners to talk with. Something incredible or terrifying. Something that really upset Fire Lord Azulon.

“I was the Avatar.” Father told me about that at one point. How he’d taken down the most powerful person to exist, how he’d taken down the Avatar. He didn’t tell me that the Avatar was still in the castle.

Annoying.

“Father will never set you free.” It’s fact. There’s no way, not with how proud Father is about this one thing. He loves talking about how powerful that makes him, about how he’s the strongest of the family and how he should be the next Fire Lord after Grandfather Azulon.

“Yeah, I know.” We’re silent for a while. I’m thinking of Zuzu, of how he managed to find this place that Father keeps so secret. Aang is the first to speak up. “What happened to your cheek? Does it hurt?” I lift my hand upward, poking at it.

There’s a small bruise, I think. It must have happened while I was escaping the assassin. I don’t really know when, but it doesn’t matter. I have a bruise on my face. Father and Mother will be disappointed.

I don’t like this man. “You’re going to burn, you know.” It’s a lie, Father has no plans to get rid of this man, of the Avatar. Not while he can still hold it over his advisors and his people. Not while there’s the chance that killing him will let a new Avatar appear and take down the Fire Nation.

“I know. Are you okay?” Why does he keep asking this? It’s dumb. He’s dumb.

He’s still smiling.

How can I see all of his bruises, all of his bones and the muscles that just barely show under his too-pale skin, but I can’t see fear. I can’t see anything that shows up in my maids, in the guards, in the prisoners that Father brings me to visit. Why is he reacting like I won’t harm him.

Why can’t I read him. Why can't I see his weaknesses, his fears and pains. There’s only smiles and some sadness.

I don’t like it.

So I stand up and leave.

It doesn't matter how curious this man makes me. I don’t like it, I don’t like him. He’s weird. He’s treating me like Zuzu, asking how I’m doing. Everything that only pathetic people care about.

So why isn’t he pathetic.

I visit a few more times after that. I started sitting with him in silence, just waiting for something new to happen. He just smiles, or he’ll talk a little about his thoughts and how long he’s been here. He doesn't show me anything interesting, anything I can use. Even when he talks about losing to Father it’s without any elaborate display of emotions. 

It’s nothing like how Father describes his victory.

Instead he’s calm. He speaks clearly and his back is straight and everything I would have expected from Father’s advisors, not a man who was defeated and thrown in prison for the rest of his life.

It doesn’t make sense.

“Why don’t you think Zuzu is weak?” I finally ask him. It’s been on my mind ever since the first time I visited.

He told Zuzu that he was doing well, that his flames were good and impressive and something to be proud of. It didn’t matter that they weren’t, that Zuzu isn’t, that he’s pathetic and useless and Father is so disappointed in his lack of talent. 

Aang said Zuzu is doing good.

Aang says I’m doing good.

It’s true. I am doing good, but he’s comparing me to  _ Zuko _ , like we’re at the same level. He’s calling me pathetic.

“Zuzu is weak. He doesn't know what he’s doing, he doesn't have strong flames, he barely knows how to do his assignments from Father. He’s weak, why don’t you tell him that?” Aang doesn't say anything. Not for a while, but I can see he’s thinking. 

His eyes stop smiling. They focus, looking at me. He finally understands what I’m saying. Zuzu is weak, he shouldn’t be praised for it.

That’s not what he says. “Well. Weakness… it isn’t bad, you know. It helps you know that you aren’t ready to do something. That if you try, you’ll fail.” For the first time there’s  _ something _ different on his face. “It can keep you safe, if you know your weakness and accept them. You should still do your best, still learn what you can, but you can’t assume you’ll be alright. Thinking that everything’s fine, that you’ll make it out. Well. Sometimes it doesn't work like that and you’re left to deal with your mess afterward.”

“You just need to be better.”

“No, you need to accept your flaws. You can always strengthen yourself later, become better. But you need to survive first.”

“What do you know? You’re wasting away down here. You can’t improve yourself, you can barely survive.” He’s quiet again.

Idon’tlikehimIdon’tlikehimIdon’tlikehim.

I d o n t l i k e h i m.

I figure it out later on.

Aang failed. He tried fighting Father and he knew he was too weak. He did it anyway. And he failed and he thinks I’m just as pathetic as he is.

…

I don’t mention the young girl that keeps visiting me. Not to the guards, of course, but also not to Zuko. 

I don’t know exactly what it is, but there’s something  _ off  _ about her. She doesn’t like visiting me, I think. Even though she does it just as often as the other kid. I still welcome her each time. Anything to keep my brain working, like there’s a purpose to me being here instead of just sitting in this cell. 

Just like she said, I’m wasting away down here.

I’ll get out at some point. I don’t know when or how, but I  _ will _ . I have to. I’ve been stuck here for three years now.

Fon must think I’m dead. He’ll be so upset…

So I’ll get out.

But this girl. Well. I don’t know what’s up with her or why she’s here and able to come down to the prison, but it seems like she’s trapped, too. Just in a different way.

“How are you?” I ask, just like every time she comes to visit. Sometimes I get an answer. Most of the time it’s silence with her staring into my eyes like she can figure out what’s written in my soul, like she just needs a little time to do it and she’ll know everything about me.

I don’t really doubt it. She’s very observant, even if she doesn't tell me anything.

This time she chooses to answer. “Fine.”

“How was your day? Did you do anything interesting?” Everything needs to be interesting. Not fun or exciting, just interesting.

“Not really.” She keeps staring at me. I can see questions on her tongue that she’s refusing to speak. Not quite yet.

“Well, I’ve had a great day. Remember when you said I haven’t been improving myself?” She nods briefly. “Well, I decided to change that! Look, I have a bit of muscle now!” I grin, showing my skeletal arm. There’s just the smallest show of muscle on my bones. What little fat I had stored up is already used, changed to muscle that I can’t really afford.

But it shows this little girl that I can work for something, even if everything hurts and I can feel my blood slowly pushing its way through my veins and bringing whatever oxygen it can to my starving body as my throat closes up and presses in on each other as my heart  _ pounds _ in my chest to make sure I keep breathing.

I think I know what Fon felt like when I found him. It sucks.

“That’s nothing,” she says, rolling up her own sleeve. There’s the barest flash of a smile on her face. Mine grows and my chest feels all warm. Aww, she’s so cute! “Look at mine!” She flexes her small muscles and wow, I didn’t know a baby could build muscle. It really is bigger than mine.

“Hehe,” I can’t help the giggle, even though her face flinches her emotions away. “Wow, you’re pretty strong, huh? How much effort did that take?” I crawl closer to her, wanting to take a closer look. And maybe be closer to an actual living breathing person since it’s been far too long.

She scowls a little. “Why would it take any?” Ah, she thinks I’m weak again. Well, fine.

“Sorry, just thought you’d dazzle me with a perfect workout routine. It’s a bit difficult playing on these bars, you know? I’m used to jumping around on poles, not staying cooped up.” Ah, good times. I miss my people, I miss the games we played and being able to run around freely with wind at my feet.

She’s looking at me again. Maybe I’m grinning too much? Nah, that should be fine.

“Why would I show you? You’re a criminal.” Her eyes are still guarded, even in the dancing flames sending off a welcoming, warm light.

“Ah, ah! Not a criminal, no. Just… bad circumstances messing with me.” Understatement of the year! But that’s fine, she doesn’t need to deal with that. Besides, I’m over it. “You know, the normal.” She doesn’t say anything again so I rack my brain for literally anything to talk about.

I still don’t even know her name.

“When did you learn to bend?” I ask, instead. That could be a safe topic, one that she might even answer!

“A few months ago.”

“How’d you figure it out?” I learned airbending around her age.

I miss my bending.

“I just did it.” Haha, well, this isn’t going anyway.

I snicker.

“Well, I learned how when I was really young, too. Monk Gyatso said I would send food flying at people without meaning to. Anytime I wanted to play just  _ zoop! _ Pie in the face! Hahaha!” That gets a smile out of her! Nice!

“I set a tree on fire in the garden.” She says after a little bit.

“Oooh, exciting!” She’s watching me really, really closely. Wow, attention feels good. I wonder if I can get her to bring a game down to play next time? “You didn’t get hurt, did you? Cause that would suck, even if it was awesome at the same time.”

She shakes her head ‘no’ before saying, “it was a little fun.” She grins, all flashing teeth with flames reflecting on their curved surfaces. 

“Wow, scary,” I accidentally say before snapping my mouth shut. Oops! “That does sound fun, though. I wish I remembered my first times bending. I bet it was awesome.” Monk Gyatso must have been next to me the entire way, helping me control myself and guide the air around. He taught me everything.

His hugs were awesome...

I wonder if this kid’s hugs would be good. Or Zuko’s. 

I smile at her even as my tears well up just a little and I know she can see them but I just really, really want someone to touch and know that they’re  _ real _ and  _ alive _ and I need people. But the kid’s still here, so I smile and I focus and she’s  _ here _ and that makes everything almost okay.

“Tell me more about you?” I ask, voice light and happy and she’s  _ here with me _ . It’s an absolute blessing.

I wait for her to think things through, wait for her to decide what’s safe to share with a contemplation that’s far beyond her age. That’s far beyond my own age.

“I watch people a lot,” she decides to start with, and yeah. I kinda noticed.

“Yeah, you do. How come?” I want to watch people too, but I never used to. I kinda noticed things, like how Zenko behaved around women and how Ky would avoid him at points. How people would stare at my tattoos and at Appa when we were in the village. Like how Zuko can’t get enough of praise and flinches when I move a little too fast.

So I noticed, but I didn’t  _ watch _ them, not like I feel the girl doing to me.

I’ll learn to. With this girl who keeps everything about herself quiet and Zuko who talks about everything he does except avoids the subject of his Father and his Grandfather and his friends. If he has any.

I think the girl knows Zuko, but that’s all I know. She seems a bit irritated when I talk about him.

She still hasn’t answered me and I’d rather not get lost in my thoughts quite yet. Not while she’s still here.

“Well, I think it’s cool that you watch them. I want to, at some point. Just watch and guess what’s going on with their lives.”

“Why would you need to guess? It’s all written on them. They’re all too easy to read.” Wow, more than I expected! Wonderful!

“How’d it written on them?”

“It just is. You’re too dumb to see it, I guess. No matter, it’s not like you’ll be able to see anyone but Zuzu and I.” She stops herself cold. So she does know Zuko, knows him well enough to call him Zuzu.

That’s actually really cute! 

“Zuzu and you, huh? Well, I guess you’re right. The guards don’t visit much, but I have been picking things up from them! One of them keeps his weight off his left side, you know. That means he’s injured somehow, right?” She’s closed off again, but she manages a small nod.

“Right. And I normally can’t see their faces, but there’s one guard who doesn't like keeping their helmet on so I can see. There’s this scar on their forehead. I think it itches when they’re wearing the helmet for too long? But I’m not really sure.

“None of them really talk to me, but they’ll talk to each other!”

“The guards are so dumb,” she finally says.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. They’re always dropping their guards like those people. They should all be fired if they can’t even do their jobs right.” Well that’s a little harsh, but with her eyes looking that sure, that serious, I’m willing to bet she knows exactly what that means. And she believes it.

Well. If Zuko’s her brother, that means Ozai is her father. I’m not surprised his methods made her think that way. Even if she’s still a kid.

So now I know her brother’s Zuko and her father’s Ozai and her mother’s Ursa. But I still don’t know her name.

“How’s your training going? You’ve been moving differently the past couple weeks. More fluid, in a way. Did you get your stances right?” It’s… not very inspired. But I don’t know enough about this kid to get her to really open up and talk with me.

“It’s well, I guess. The soldiers I’m copying are falling behind. Honestly, you would expect Fire Nation soldiers would be better at practice than they are. It’s honestly pathetic.” Ah, yes. I should have known, no one’s formally training her. I thought if it was about fighting her father would at least help her out.

“Well, I might not know firebending forms, but I do know airbending. Er, well, I did. But I still know the forms! And I can show you those!” It’s not really fighting, but if she wants to work on strength and dodging then all she needs is a little air!

“Please, airbending is useless and the Air Nomads were all pathetic fighters. I doubt it would help me.” Well, that is true.

“But it couldn’t hurt to learn more, right? When I was escaping the Fire Nation soldiers, uh, before I got caught. Um. They didn’t know what I was doing! I just zoomed past them! Haha, you shoulda seen the looks on their faces! They didn’t know what to do!” Her mind is working behind her eyes, I can tell. Maybe she’ll really want to learn the forms.

Maybe she’ll spend more time around here.

“I mean, I guess. It  _ is  _ boring doing the same stances over and over again when I already know them.”

“Awesome!” I stand up, ready to start moving even though it makes me a little dizzy to be on my feet. It’s fine! Because she’s gonna learn stuff from me and I can teach her and I can’t wait!!

“Okay, uh. Copy me I guess?” She gets up too, but is a little slower about it. “Alright. Um. How do you normally stand?” She’s at attention with her feet right next to each other. “What about for your firebending forms?”

She sighs but changes position. Her feet are still really close together, but her legs are bent a little and her chest is pushed out more than I’m used to. Monk Gyatso always says to have a hollow chest. Well, might as well start there!

“Okay! Uh. Try to bring your chest in a little?” She stares at me. Maybe that’s not clear enough? “Um. You’re going like this,” I puff out my chest, “but you’re supposed to go like this?” I pull inward, letting my shoulders rest farther forward than everything else.

“That’s weird.”

“Is it? Uh, that’s just how it goes I guess?” She follows it anyway so I move on. “Okay, stand at the side, like this?” She shifts so her left side is facing me, just like I mirrored for her. “Perfect! Now draw your tailbone down. No, uh, kinda round your hips backward? Other backward? Oh, try tensing your stomach muscles and shift them up under your ribcage! That could… yeah! Like that!” Now her chest is hollow and her tailbone is pointing down, so it’s perfect!

“Okay, now you gotta bend your knees and step forward. This is, uh, to help you move around lightly? Actually I don’t know how it helps but Sister Iio kept making me do this before I could get my tattoos.”

“Wait, so why do I have to do this? You don't even know what it’s for.”

“Uh. Because Sister Iio was really smart? And kinda scary? So she probably knew how it helped even though I don’t?”

“So you’re just being dumb. Fine, whatever. I’ll try it.” Her foot angled wrong for a little bit, so I correct her and have it slide parallel to the ground instead. She manages to get it figured out pretty quickly, but she’s scowling again.

“What do you think?”

“It’s dumb. Why do I have to learn this? It’s like. Walking but wrong.” Wrong? I try walking around my tiny cell, putting a hand on the wall to make sure I don’t fall when the world goes a little tipsy.

“How’s it wrong? How do you walk?” She starts a short path and her feet look  _ weird _ .

I didn’t know people could move like that. Her feet. They. Something’s wrong with her heels. I thought it was just because she was thinking too hard. Maybe I’m not observing my two only visitors as much as I thought I was because now I  _ can’t stop looking _ . 

Was it always that obvious? 

Well. If it’s that strange for her, maybe Sister Iio really knew what she was talking about.  _ Sorry for doubting you, Sister Iio! I won’t do it again! _

I keep showing her how to walk and move and turn until she gets really fed up with me. “See you later!” I call out as she leaves.

I think she’ll come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. My beta is busy with college and didn't have time to go through this. If you notice any errors let me know!


	6. Glorious Knowledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - torture. I don't think it's very intense, but you'll know when it's coming and it goes until the end of the fic.

That guy sucks frozen wood frogs.

There's something just. Wrong with him and I can’t figure it out. How annoying. I can’t even pinpoint what it is! 

He’s just weird. And I have better things to do than mess around with a spark-eater like him. Like talking to father about that stupid guard-assassin.

It’s no longer night by the time I leave that man’s cell and make my way back up to my room. I nearly got lost a couple of times, but silly Zuzu still hasn’t figured out how to cover his tracks. Once I light a small flame there’s enough evidence of the ground being disturbed that I can just track him back to the walls I recognize.

Since the sun is only just starting to peak up above the horizon I decide to lie down for a couple hours and make up for my lost night of sleep. Stupid assassin.

By the time I wake up again there’s servants in my chambers preparing my outfit for the day. They’re all moving silently enough that anyone else would have slept through it, but I’m not anyone else.

“Can’t you be quiet?” I snap at the newest person. She still doesn’t react, such a pity. I guess they’ll be moving her to Mother soon. She’s just as silent as the others by now, and her technique certainly has improved. How will her behavior change around Mother, I wonder? Will she become loud, obnoxious? Will she spread rumors and secrets?

Will she remember me during those times, and will she remember how Royalty acts when someone does not reach our standard? 

She better.

I allow them to prepare me with the daily clothing and hairstyle and ornaments. If I plan to talk with Father about what happened last night, I better present my best. While I did manage to evade that assassin and collect information on him, I didn’t manage to take him down. I don’t know if Father will be pleased.

When I’m decorated in all my finery I leave the room, heading to the war room. He most likely has a meeting about something or other today. If not now, then someone there will know his schedule. They’re snakes like that.

I pass Zuzu on my way. He’s looking very tired, that ghoul. Doesn’t he know that presentation is everything? I just smile at him, eyes sweet and lips hiding my teeth. That man compared me to  _ Zuko _ of all people!

Well, it’s not like it matters anyway. I still have to talk to Father today, and Zuzu can just go back to being ignored by everyone except for Mother and that man. And he does, walking down the hallway and avoiding my smile like the coward he is. I nearly have to bite back a smile.

My palace escorts are still following me from behind, it wouldn’t do letting them think something is happening. Normally I try and shoo them away to a farther distance, but today I might be willing to act out the role of a small, defenseless child. Just in case there’s another assassin walking around.

I wonder if that man can take down an assassin.

I don’t like him and he’s boring but there is  _ something _ about him that’s more than I can see. I just don’t know what and I don’t like it. He doesn’t look right. He doesn’t act right. But there’s something in him that I can’t help but be reminded of Father. I just can’t tell what it is.

Father’s in the war room, finishing up a discussion with some stiff, boring advisors. I could wait until he’s finished, or I can walk in and just tell him. What to do, what to do. It would be bad news if it spreads around that an assassin is after me. But it could be good for them to know I’m not easily caught.

Well, that’s decided.

I walk in quietly, putting a large grin on my face. There aren’t any eyes on me quite yet, but there’s about to be.

“Father,” I say once I’m next to his seat. “There was an assassin last night.” I can tell that my guards stiffen from across the room. Good, my voice carried enough. “I avoided him, of course, but it was quite boring. He’s a guard you hired.”

“Do you have his name?”

I hum. “No, but I can point him out. I’ve been watching him for a while, just in case.” Father smirks at me. I crush the sudden urge to smile back. Father’s advisors are all watching me, watching Father. I don’t need them knowing anything.

I can’t be weak like this. Not like Zuzu.

“Alright. Wait for me until after this meeting and I’ll come talk to you. Now,” Father starts, turning back to his advisors. I smile sharply at everyone and leave the room.

It’s time to go play with Zuzu. Maybe he’s finished his work for the day.

…

I go back to that man.

I’m bored. I’m so, so bored. Zuzu doesn’t have time to play and the guards are being dumb ever since I got that one assassin-guard burned to death by father. I don’t think they knew he was an assassin, though, so I can’t blame them. Mother is busy with whatever duties she has. Something about the education system and planning festivals. Nothing I’m interested in sticking around to hear. 

So. That leaves that man. For the next few weeks that man is my main source of fun. It’s… nice, in a way. He teaches me things, even if they’re annoying and make no sense at all. Not many people just teach me to teach me. Normally it’s under Mother or Father’s orders, and the things are boring and useless. Not that everything he teaches me is fun. 

For some reason he likes meditating. A lot. For no reason, even though he keeps telling me about ‘spiritual energy’ and being connected with the spirits and bending and whatnot. I’m pretty sure he’s looking for something when he’s meditating, but I can’t tell exactly what.

So he shows me how to move and how to fall and roll without hurting myself, and he shows me how to meditate and pay attention to my body and its surroundings. He teaches me to feel movement without actually feeling or seeing it.

That was probably the weirdest thing.

When he shows me how to jump, I make sure to feel the air around my limbs and  _ jump,  _ jump higher than I have before.

“Wow! That’s awesome, kid!” I haven’t told him my name. “You’re pretty good at this, huh? When Bumi and I had jumping competitions, he was never that good! Even with a bit of an earth boost. You’re a natural!” I preen a bit before shutting down again.

“Of course I am.” I’ll have to practice more. The man didn’t say that I could beat  _ him _ , just his friend. So he’s better than I am. I have to catch up.

I keep following his steps and I keep feeling the air around me while I move around my daily activities. The soldiers in training are getting better, doing more, but they’re still so boring. The movements seem too controlled, not fun at all.

Aang - I mean, that man - keeps talking about  _ movement _ and  _ freedom _ when he talks about his bending. I want that. The spinning movements and the controlled chaos of his stories. I want to send pies flying into peoples’ faces just for fun or go flying with lemurs through the skies. I can’t do that, but I can practice.

So I plant my feet and I feel the air and I  _ move _ . Sometimes the soldiers do flying kicks, where they shoot a spin of fire out of their feet. They always land hard on the ground, crouching to balance themselves. It’s weird watching them. Like they’re doing something wrong but it’s not actually wrong. They’re missing something that should just be easy to do.

They don’t move like that man when it would be so much more effective. But I’ve been learning how to move like him. When I’m in the air I feel the way it moves around me and I grab hold of that feeling. All I need is a little softness in the landing, a softness that lets me push back up into the air and land another attack.

I don’t manage to find it, but I do manage to land and attack again. That man says that whenever he can’t figure something out he meditates, so I finish my practice and sit under the tree. I can still hear the soldiers training in the field but I close my eyes and force my brain to go blank, just focusing on the energy moving around my body.

I don’t know how he manages this all day every day. It’s so boring.

I feel my breath, traveling in through the nose, filling my chest, and the heat that travels outward through all the rest of my limbs. I can feel the fire in my body being stoked by the air in my chest and growing.

It burns and I keep going. I keep breathing, I keep growing my fire. Uncle’s burns white, mine is only orange. It needs to be  _ hot hot hot  _ to take down that Gas Bag. If it takes listening to this man, if it takes using his practices to make myself the strongest, so be it.

If my flames shine brighter than Uncle’s, Father will never have to worry about who succeeds the throne.

I finally figure it out when I’m sparing with Zuzu.

Not the flame part, necessarily. Mother banned us from using firebending during our spar since she doesn’t want Zuzu to get hurt. The movement, though, that’s what I learn how to do.

“Come  _ on _ Azula, just stand still!” Zuzu shouts, grappling for me as I dance out of his reach.

“Why should I? Just get faster, Zuzu! Aren’t you the older one? How can you lose to your little sister.” He grunts in frustration and keeps lunging at me, acting just like a dog. I can hear Mother sigh from the sidelines, already tired with our play.

“Take a breath, Zuko,” she instructs, demonstrating by lifting one hand upward as she breathes in and lowering it when she breathes out. He comes to a standstill and follows her movements. I can see all of his energy that I’ve been building up just leave him. His eyes open and they’re calm. Dang it.

I fall into a defensive stance. If Zuzu manages to get too close he can just lift me up. He learned it from Lu Ten and uses it at every chance he gets. It’s awful. Sure, I can try punching at him but my feet can’t touch the ground and there’s not enough force to really hit and hurt.

So when Zuzu comes, swinging with a punch aimed at my chest, I glide to the side. I can feel the air shifting around me, pushing me to the left further as his motion moves along my skin. I bounce onto my right hand, doing a partial cartwheel and kicking him with my left leg.

The move was fluid, light, and  _ exactly like Aang described _ .

I grin. Finally.

I hold onto that sensation, letting it propel me upward against his chest, knocking him to the ground. First it’s a burst behind me, then a burst between Zuzu and I. And then I win.

“Yes! Yes yes yes!” I shout. I did it! I figured it out!

“Ugh!” Zuzu pushes himself off the ground, a scowl on his face. I smile sweetly at him as Mother comes to help him, dusting off his clothes.

Maybe I should visit Aang. Even if the steps are annoying and meditating is boring, something he taught me helped.

...

He has another bruise. It’s so dumb. I’ve never seen him run into anything, and the guards are never around when I’m visiting, so they probably don’t come bother him for fun. Or maybe I come at weird times since it’s normally night and they sleep on the job.

That’s one thing I don’t plan to report to Father.

“What happened?” I ask, leaning forward a little to see it clearer. The bars are still in the way, but I can faintly make out the discoloration fading from a purple to a green. It’s pretty big. Maybe he got punched. The one from his cheek last week faded already, so it’s not that his healing is slow.

“Nothing much! I just got in a bit of trouble, you know?” I don’t point out the wince in his face as he smiles brightly at me.

I can’t point out that it seems like he’s in pain because I can’t see anything else in him that looked pained. His skin is covered in bruises, sure, but he doesn't  _ act _ like it. He’s still smiling and happy and calm, nothing like the other prisoners I’ve seen after walking around the cells. Most of them can barely look up at me.

“How are you doing? You look tired.” He leans a little closer to the bars, starting at my face. I don’t like the way my fire flickers in his eyes. It looks too soft. Like he’s concerned. Like my fire’s concerned about me.

How  _ dare  _ he! “I’m fine!” I scowl at him. How dare he ask such a stupid question. It’s not like I can have anything wrong with me, I’m not  _ Zuko _ . I don’t have all those stupid emotions that Zuko and Mother and my maids and the guards have.

He backs off immediately. Good. Even if there isn’t fear in his eyes it’s better than assuming I’m weak. “Okay, okay! Tell me what you’ve been up to?”

“I figured out your thing.”

“My thing?”

“Yeah. The way you move.” He looks at me, eyebrows scrunching up a little. For a moment he looks like Lu Ten, a little confused but still confident. I wonder how old he is.

“Do I move weird?” He looks down at his hands and waves them around which is stupid. His hands don’t move weird, just the way he walks. His muscles. He’s so dumb. “Huh. I never noticed. How do I move?”

I stand up from my kneeling position, letting the air lift me while my feet push. I feel light as my heels touch the ground, now in a standing position. I breath in, drawing heat into my lungs and releasing it back out.

“See? Like you.”

“Uh, sure, I guess? That looks normal to me, but you have been moving weird. I honestly thought you were hurt or something.”

“What? No! How dare you, assuming I could be hurt.” I glare at him as he giggles.

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to ask. Good job figuring it out, I guess!”

“Show me more.”

“Uh, I really don’t know what else to show you? Most of my stuff, well, I can’t really do anymore. Not since I got locked up here.”

“I don’t care.” I know my eyes harden. I can feel it. “Show me.”

He chuckles a bit before standing up himself, moving in that way that comes naturally to him but took fighting with Zuzu for me to figure out. “Well, this is a thing that we used to do for fun.” He twirls his hands around in the air for a moment, doing absolutely nothing. “I would normally make a ball of air and then I can zoom around the room and up the walls!”

“Well, I can’t do that. Show me something else.” I’m not an airbender. Stupid spark-eater. 

“Okay, okay.” He’s still grinning. “How about this?” He breaths in, drawing his hands from his hips to his chest, sucking in air. I can’t fully see what happens next, but all of a sudden he’s on the other side of the cell, hands in a pushing motion with his legs spread in a warrior stance. 

I try it, but even with my newfound movements I don’t get it. I have to try a few more times, doing my best to land on my feet instead of my face, but propelling is just so difficult. The cell is really small too, so it’s not like I have much room to mess up.

“Aang, what am I doing wrong?” I pout and move closer to the bars of his cell. He looks shocked for a moment before his smile comes back more than before.

“I’ll go slower this time, okay?” I can follow him with my eyes, but I can’t figure out how his foot moves to give him that speed. It’s like they bend in a way that they shouldn’t be able to, and the dust at the ball of his foot moves strangely for a few moments after he disappears. It’s like it shifts upward but they just stops.

I keep going back, slowly figuring out each of his moves. He’s teaching me more than the soldiers are during their training, so I’ve started to nap during the day and visit him at night. My maids were surprised at first, but they started to like the routine. When one of them thought I was asleep I heard them talking about how I was finally acting like a normal girl.

How boring. If that’s what ‘normal girls’ act like, then I never want to meet one.

Father notices me training at one point. He required Mother to go on a walk with him after a meeting, and they walked past my training area just outside the palace walls.

“Father,” I say, greeting him as he walks closer. “Mother.”

“Azula. You are improving in your bending.”

“Thank you.” I can feel him assessing me, but I don’t pay it too much mind other than straightening my back and curving my lower spine. It still feels a little weird to stand like that, but Aang insists it’s the proper way to move. He really did think I was permanently injured because of my movements.

“I have a family activity that I think you will enjoy,” he starts. Mother’s hands grip her sleeves. It seems like she already knows what Father is thinking. And she isn’t pleased by it, but not so much that she’s decided to argue. 

I don’t see her walking strangely.

“Do you remember the Avatar? Well, your Mother reminded me of his...  _ presence  _ in our jail. I was thinking of paying a visit at first, but I see you have been working so very hard. I believe Zuko could use some motivation to catch up, and the Avatar just might be the perfect one to give it to him.”

Father has talked about the Avatar before, multiple times. He’s proud to have captured the Avatar alive, and to have successfully held them in the palace prison for so many years without issue. It’s one of the many stories he tells over dinner when he’s in a good mood. For some reason Mother and Zuzu don’t like the story, but they’re weak so that’s not surprising. They never like Father’s stories of victory.

“That’s a good idea, Father.” I don’t know what he’s planning, but of course it will be good. Father's ideas always are, especially when it comes to disciplining Zuzu.

“We’ll go tomorrow.”

…

When tomorrow comes it comes with cold, so I’m more than happy to stay inside with Father as he leads us down the stone steps and into the prison section. I’ve been to this area a couple of times, other than the times visiting Aang. 

There was once a maid that I didn’t approve of, and she did something that Father called disgraceful. She got thrown down here and Father took me down to say hello. I didn’t really recognize her at that point - something about her was  _ off _ . Other than her skin looking purple and her bones pressing against her skin.

It was her eyes. Something wasn’t there. It was like she wasn’t really there in the cell. Lots of the other prisoners looked the same. Most of them still do.

So I’ve been down here a few times. I just never knew there was a tournament area in addition to the cells, let alone one that was large enough for all of us to sit comfortably on the sidelines with a fight happening in front of us. Two of Father’s guards stand in front of us as well, until Quanba steps forward as the metal door opens.

The scraggly figure that comes through with shackles on his hands is quite familiar to both Zuzu and I, but at least I make sure not to show it. I’m not used to seeing Aang in a light that isn’t my own flames, and especially not in a room that’s this bright. My fire’s still a dark orange, Father’s fire that’s glowing in the lamps is a bright yellow.

It helps me see the bruising on his skin and the bones shifting just under the surface. I didn’t know he was  _ that _ skinny. Weird.

At least I understand how Aang’s an Air Nomad after they’ve all gone extinct - he’s the Avatar that Father likes bragging about.

Aang’s eyes linger on Zuzu and I as he’s half dragging, half walking into the room. When they bring him to stand in front of Father, Aang gives a small bow. Even with his hands still shackled behind his back. If I ever get locked up, that’s what I want to be like. He still has his dignity. I like it.

Not like Father ever will, I’m too perfect. When Zuzu gets locked up I’m sure he’ll act like a normal prisoner, whimpering at Father’s feet. Mother would act like that too, but Father wouldn’t throw her in prison. Just keep her confined to their room. That’s what he normally does, at least.

“Hello, Avatar,” Father starts. Aang smiles up at him, just a little.

“Hi there, Prince Ozai. How are you today?” Aang’s head gets shoved down further by one of his guards. It’s held there for a few seconds before they knock his feet out from under him as well. 

“Show respect,” the guard says in a low grumble. Aang doesn’t try to stand up, but he doesn’t slump down any further. When the guard lets go of his head Aang holds it in the lower position for a few minutes before looking up at Father.

“Sorry. Um. Hello, Prince Ozai?” The guard lands a blow to his back, knocking Aang forward to lay at Father’s feet. Father rests his foot on Aang’s head, pushing it to the side so Aang is able to look up from the ground just a little. His forehead is already starting to redden. So that’s how he gets them on his face. I didn’t think they looked like punches, and people don’t punch the forehead. That’s a weird place.

“Not so proud now, are you,” Father says, grinning in a way I want to when I get to his age. It’s such a great smile. People tend to leave the room sweating after he shows it to them. All of the angles on his face look automatically sharper.

“Um, no? I guess not?” I stifle a giggle. Father is getting very, very angry. He kicks Aang across the face and comes to sit down next to Mother. 

“Quanba. Go ahead.” Quanba steps forward as the two guards unlock Aang’s shackles and move back against the wall. He’s free to stand up now that Father’s foot isn’t pressing down. With a brief rub of his scuffed red wrists, Aang shifts his body backward and pushes to his feet, still moving in that light, airy way that I’ve grown used to.

Quanba goes in for a punch, not using her flames quite yet. Probably under Father’s orders. Aang shifts under her punch, dodging just enough for it to miss. He stumbles, though, and catches himself halfway to the ground. “Woah, woah, woah!” His eyes are wide open, but he doesn't look surprised that Quanba is attacking him. He knew exactly what was going to happen, he just can’t trust his body to listen.

That’s nothing new, either. Even when he’s calm, in his cell, showing me how to move his body will give out at a moment's notice. Sometimes he catches himself, sometimes he doesn’t. 

Aang stands up again, starting to move forward when his right knee locks in place. I can only just barely see the moment before weight is transferred onto his left leg and he continues forward like nothing happened. Quanba allows him to get close to her.

I can never tell what she’s thinking. Both of Father’s personal guards are stone faced, silent, and extremely dedicated. I’ve never figured out how to read her and I don’t think I ever will. Not until I can break her mask of silence with something more than acting cute.

I can’t read her, so I wasn’t expecting lightning fast motion that landed Aang face down, two full body lengths away from where he was standing before.

“Use your bending,” Father says, voice hard. I don’t know if it was at Quanba or Aang. Maybe it was both. Quanba nods, flames licking at her fingers before they shoot forward like whips. The thin, bright yellow lines cut against the stone floors leaving scorch marks deeper than ash. There’s a flash of cold running through my body. Wow.

It’s beautiful.

I sit up straighter, waiting in anticipation. How would those work? Do they cut like whips in skin? Do they just burn the outside, causing the body to cook like Father’s done with other prisoners? Does it stop the blood from pouring out after his skin gets cut? They’re so, so pretty and I  _ need _ to learn how to use them. They glow  _ yellow _ . I can feel the heat from the thin lines every time it shifts just a little. There’s a mini heatwave flashing off them that continues to strike my body frozen.

I can’t wait to see what happens.

Quanba lets her fire wipes rest on the ground for a few seconds longer before sending strikes in Aang’s direction. They snap past his cheek, right in front of his arm and onto the ground. There wasn’t a single area that actually hit him, but the growing red on his skin suggests he got hurt anyway.

Aang isn’t smiling anymore, but I am.

Just being in the area as her whips does damage. Aang’s skin is blistering already and they never touched him. His skin is turning an ashy white and they  _ never touched him _ . It’s amazing, it’s awe inspiring, and I’ll figure out how to make yellow whips soon enough. 

I’ll figure out how to make white ones.

She strikes Aang over the shoulder, the skin searing and sizzling. It smells a little gross, but nothing that I’m not used to. Mother covers her and Zuzu’s mouths, though. How silly. Father hasn’t covered his mouth, and he already said this was for Zuzu’s benefit. Mother shouldn’t act like that. Father will get upset, and he’ll get upset at both of them.

Mother even ignores Father’s glare.

I don’t think I’ll see her for the next few days.

I’ll see more of Aang, then. Anything to stop me from getting bored. Maybe he can tell me what it’s like to get hit by Quanba.

Aang’s skin seems to glow where Quanba slashed it. There’s no blood - not that burns normally bleed - and the glowing calms to it’s ashy white before a dark, dark grey. Aang doesn’t cry out in pain or anything, just surprise. Maybe yellow doesn’t hurt. Disappointing, but that’s okay. The room keeps getting hotter and hotter. I start to sweat, just as much as I normally would when practicing my own fire. It’s hot, but I want to keep watching. I want to see more.

Quanba lashes at Aang’s hair, catching it alight. 

“Ah!” Aang shouts, patting at his head. “Ah, ah, no, that hurts!” He completely ignores Quanba, ignores Father, and deals with the flames on his head. The hair burns all the way to his scalp, coving him in dark dusty ashes. His head will probably blister tomorrow. That’s what happened when I lit my maid’s hair on fire.

She was more annoying when that happened, though. Too much screaming. It was loud.

Quanba releases her flames into the air in a bright, hot flash of light before the room darkens to the dull orange flames lighting the edges. Aang is on his knees, still patting at his head with burnt hands. Quanba, in proper fashion, turns to Father and bows slightly. Her hands are in a wushu salute and the slight burns on her own hands are enough to show that she isn’t strong enough for her own powers. 

That’s disappointing, but I guess she’s still weak. That’s okay. When I steal her style I won't be that weak.

The guards standing at the wall move to shackle Aang again. “Take him to the healer,” Father says. They do.


	7. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning - depression, dissociation

“Zuzu, did you see that? Quanba was so, so cool! Her flames, Zuzu! Did you see them? I can’t wait until I get there! You don’t have to worry about that, of course, since you’ll never have yellow flames. That’s why Father took you, after all. I wonder if she’ll show me? Maybe if I ask enough. Father won’t order her to, of course, but I know how to get what I want. It’s easy.” I shouldn't behave like this, but for once I don’t care. It was just  _ so cool. _

Zuzu doesn't seem to think so, but I’m not surprised. He looked sick when we left. Maybe it was the smell of Aang burning. It was a little gross, but not that bad. Mother looked sick too, but Father didn’t. He never does. He was smiling, actually. Just like I was.

“How did you enjoy that?” Zuzu asks, staring at me. I sigh. 

“Oh, Zuzu. I just did. You’re too much like Mother, getting upset at the small things. It’s so much better if you like things, you know. What, don’t tell me you feel bad.” He flinches and I know I’m right. “Why? It’s not like you did anything bad. Father won’t even punish you, as long as you don’t mess up again.”

“Azula. You saw what she did to him. You saw what Father ordered. What if he does that to us?” 

“Well, then you weren’t good enough, dragon-bait. It wouldn’t be surprising. But that won’t happen to me, I’m too good. Father gave me some work a few days ago, even. I got it done early.” I didn’t want to tell Zuzu just yet, but it seems like a good moment. His expression falls even more. Like Mother’s before she disappears for a few days. I wonder what Zuzu will do.

I wonder if he’ll go see Aang again. I will, soon. Maybe tonight if i don’t get too sleepy. It’s been an exciting day, as Mother would call it if she hadn’t already disappeared into her and Father’s chambers.

“I should practice,” he says, slowly standing up and walking out the door. I hum, following him. He really should. He’s already falling behind me, but we knew that would happen. I wonder if he’s behind everyone else our age.

I should get some food.

I wonder if they fed Aang. Probably not, since he didn’t really fight back. Father probably didn’t want him to get rewarded. But maybe he did, if they’re wanting him to heal. I could bring him some. Just in case.

With that new plan in mind I start heading for the kitchens. A couple of guards follow my a few lengths behind, just like they’ve been doing since Father ordered them weeks ago. One little assassination attempt and how you’re on constant watch, it seems. At least they aren’t allowed inside mine or Zuzu’s rooms. They’re too annoying, watching my every move and all my interactions with people without even talking to me. 

I don’t like it. Especially not right now as I’m trying to get more food than I could eat on my own. I can’t even go and pretend to eat with Zuzu since he’s being annoying. There is a tunnel outside the kitchen that I could use, but it doesn’t connect directly to the system for the prison.

I wonder if Father will praise me for being able to evade the guards. Mother might worry if they report my disappearance to her, but she’s weak anyway. That won’t be anything new.

It doesn’t take long to grab my food and duck out, avoiding the guards’ eyes and hopping into the tunnel. I know the areas well enough that I don’t get lost even here, one of the systems I don’t travel around often. I’m just too smart for that.

I eat a little on the way down, shuffling the items into one arm and picking at them with my other hand. There’s no one around, though, so it’s fine. The berries are pretty good, if a little bitter.

I wait in the tunnel outside of Aang’s cell for a little while. He isn’t back yet, but at least there’s no guards to hear me chewing. I make sure to keep listening in case Zuzu decides to visit right now so I can move into the tunnel’s offshoot, but he never does.

Even when the guards drag Aang into his cell and slam the door shut before leaving the area again. I’ve never actually seen anyone sitting in the chair to keep watch, but I don’t expect they’ll choose the day Aang gets beat by Quanba to be the day they start. He probably can’t move.

I step out of the tunnel, still carrying what’s left of the food. I already finished my portion, so all that’s left is Aang’s. It’s mainly fruit and veggies instead of meat, so I can give him that stuff. Aang never eats the meat the guards give him. It starts to smell if they leave it for a few hours too long. Which happens quite a lot.

“Hi,” I say, setting down the fruit and veggies. Aang smiles at me, though he winces when the burn on his cheek pulls.

“Hi.” We sit in silence for a little bit while he lifts a few grapes into his mouth and chews them, one by one. “So you’re the princess.” I nod. If he hadn’t figured that out by now he’s an idiot. “That’s cool.”

“What was it like?”

“What was what like?”

“Quanba’s attacks. They looked really cool.” Aang takes in a deep breath and steadies himself. I think he was about to do that thing Zuzu does when he’s reminded of something that made him act weak. Like one of Father’s punishments.

“Well, I’m sure they did look like that. It, uh. It didn’t look cool to me. I kind of, uh, distanced myself?” He looks a little frustrated, but I think I get it. He’s said that meditation is like distancing yourself from your body. I’ve done it after some hard training. Anything that hurts goes away for a little, and it doesn't feel like you’re really there anymore.

It’s cool that he managed, though. It’s hard enough when I’m sitting still. Being able to do that and still move is impressive. I wonder if he’ll show me how.

“How?”

“How do I what? Distance?”

“Yeah. How.”

“Uuuh…” Aang thinks for a bit. “You know how to meditate, right?” I stare at him. Of coure I know how, I’m not a baby. He’s shown me enough times. “Ah, right. Sorry, I forget sometimes. Well, when Monks showed us how to go a bit further than that. You separate your mind from your body and allow yourself to go toward the spirit world.”

“Spirit world?”

“Yeah. Your teachers don't talk about it? Monk Gyatso says it’s the best place he’s ever seen. He learned how to go there because of his, uh. His friend. Roku.”

“Avatar Roku?”

“Yeah. So, anyway, turns out it’s pretty hard for most people to do, but something about how Roku taught Gyatso helped him figure it out. And he tried to teach me. It took a few years in this cell for me to actually do it, but I managed.”

“Oh. So how do you do it?”

…

How should I explain the circulation of energy directing around my body, of connecting my energies into the ground and the sky and just  _ feeling everything  _ around me as an extension of myself? How do I explain what it’s like to see yourself but as blue light, to move that blue light around and through the physical into the spirit world? 

I don’t even know if she can circle her qi.

Well. I could start at the fundamentals? The way Gyatso taught me.

“Alright, put your hand on your stomach.” She does. “Can you feel your pulse? The movement of your stomach at a steady rhythm? Well, just pay attention to that. Feel it through your body. That’s where your energy centers.” She sits like that for a while, just feeling. I don’t know how to tell if she’s doing it right.

I’ve only done it on myself. Gyatso could always tell I wasn’t there, but I’ve never been able to actually do it when there was someone else with me. I miss Gyatso.

But if she can already do it then I’ll be impressed. Maybe something will change and I’ll be able to tell when she manages. Gyatso always said it was like walking down a path away from your body, but it feels like floating to me. Like I get drawn there, even though I have to purposefully separate from my body. Maybe the girl will be like me.

I don’t fully separate this time. If I go into the spirit world, even for a little bit, I’ll lose track of time. I don’t know if the girl would be able to draw me back before she leaves, or if she'd even try to. But I want to say goodbye, so I just meditate like normal. Breathing, circulating, feeling my body. Letting my mind silence itself. 

And maybe kinda sorta fall asleep in the process. But it’s better than going to the spirit world. Much easier to wake a sleeping person than someone whose soul is separated. Gyatso was impossible to draw back unless he wanted to.

I wonder if the girl will stop visiting if I stop teaching her things. That would suck, but at least Zuko would keep coming back. Probably. It is nice that she brought me some food, though. Even if the main reason she came to visit was to ask about the, uh. Thing. That happened. It’s not like I’m surprised. Zuko normally asks about my bruises and seems concerned. This girl doesn’t, but I can tell she knows what they mean. I can tell she knows a lot of things and doesn't want to tell me any of them.

I don’t think she wants to tell anyone any of them.

Heck, I still don’t know her name, and it’s been weeks already. Maybe months. Time’s weird when you separate from your body. Or maybe it’s just weird anyway.

Maybe I’ll ask her soon. Or I could ask Zuko. It seems like he’d tell me, and I don’t think she’d be upset if I knew. Especially if she’s the princess. Everyone probably knows who she is.

I lose track of time again. I could swear it hasn’t been that long, but when the girl opens her eyes she starts to leave.

“Time to go already?”

“Of course. It’s past bedtime. Father’s guards have probably been looking for me this entire time. Much longer and they will report to Father or Mother.” She ignores the vegetables still sitting on the floor in front of my cell’s bars. It’s a bit harder to force those down. They’re a little too hard.

Instead she extinguishes the light resting above the palms of her hands and stands.

“Oh. Okay, uh. Well. I’ll see you soon, then?” Please come back soon.

She leaves without saying anything, but I think she’s going to come back. It seems like it. She has before, and it doesn't look like anything really changed other than her starting to ask questions. Maybe she’ll visit more often. I wonder when Zuko will come back. 

I finish off the grapes she brought. They’re a little covered in dust at this point with all the moving around, but it’s nothing worse than what I’m used to. I breathe in a little too deeply while chewing and nearly cough it out. My fingers make their way to my chest, pressing at the gash under my shirt.

The doctor gave me new clothes before I got thrown in here, so I can’t touch the cauterized wound directly. It’s probably for the best. I don’t want it to get infected or anything. They don’t let me get treated often enough for that.

I settle myself against the wall once more. Sitting hurts a little. And moving. And breathing. I don’t think Zuko will come visit me today. Maybe I can separate again. It’ll be easy. Just for a while. Sure, maybe I’ll forget some things and I might lose some time but. It’s better.

I close my eyes and feel my soul drift upward, out of my body. When I open my eyes again I’m in familiar scenery. A burned forest at the top of a mountain, with the few trees left gnarled, scorched sculptures of wood. The sky is tinged red and pink with the strangest wisps of purple curling around the colors. My translucent blue feet phase through the broken grasses peeking up from the ash as I walk out of the destruction.

It was like this when I first arrived a few years ago. The slowly sprouting orange grass is new, but I don’t know how long the spirit world has looked like this. In the distance there’s a river, and on the other side is a few structures built, scattered across the bright blue ground. I only know the sparkling purple is a river after I fell into it the first time. I thought that was solid ground.

Nope. I slipped right in, but the purple didn’t get on my clothes at all since. Well. They don’t exist here. At least I don’t think they do. 

The spirits that I’ve managed to talk with aren’t very helpful when it comes to that. They haven’t actually interacted with humans in a really, really long time. There’s a couple of monks and gurus that manage to slip into the spirit world every few decades, but most of the spirits only know that through rumors instead of actually having seen them.

They also don’t like talking to people, me included. 

I raise my hand to wave at a glowing green fish swimming through the neon yellow trees. It turns at me, opens its bright purple mouth and screeches with teeth flying out, looming over me. The teeth shouldn’t logically fit inside its body since they’re all longer than its body length, but oh well. Most fish can’t swim through trees, either.

It swims away from me after that pleasant demonstration of power and I keep shuffling through the underbrush. 

I like coming here, despite everything. Sure, most spirits won’t talk to me, but it’s not like there’s many people to talk with me in the human world. At least here I can stretch my spirit-y legs and see things that aren’t dusty grey walls and dark prison bars. 

Here I don’t feel pain or hunger that happened in the human world. 

There was one time that platypus-bear-like-thing nearly killed me, but that was one time and I made sure not to get too close to the bigger spirits after that point.

That’s another thing. There’s some spirits here that look like animals but not. Like, there have been turtle ducks but without the shells, or the platypus-bear without the bill and tail. Also they can talk, but that was less surprising to learn. It’s more strange to see something so nearly similar to normal in such an unfamiliar world. They’re always the more shocking spirits to run into.

The snakes are the scariest, though. Sometimes they glow. Those ones aren’t scary because you can see them. Sometimes they’re invisible. Those are hard to watch out for. They don’t tend to bite, at least they haven’t yet, but I’ve been wrapped around and nearly squeezed to death enough times to know they’re dangerous.

Can I die if I’m in the spirit world?

I don’t want to find out.

I’ve been building a small cabin over the years. Just a place where I can sit down and rest, maybe pretend to eat some food and feel normal for a little while. It’s mainly made out of branches and vines since the trees are too scary to cut down and use. Some of the blue dirt is packed in with the vines to hold them there. I have no idea if it’s well made, if it holds heat or anything that things need to survive. I can't feel heat or cold or anything.

It’s still better than being in that cell constantly.

In one of the corners I have a bed. Kind of. It’s mainly some grass that I clipped and put down for a softer surface. A few of the larger, softer vines are weaved together to make pillows and blankets. Just enough to feel real, just comfortable that I can ignore the oddness of the entire thing.

I sometimes forget that I’m not alive here. That I don’t really exist in this world. The world my body lives in feels just as real as this world. Sometimes I forget that I’m alive in that one. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I am.

I hear a noise from just outside my blankets. It’s a soft squeak, one that I’ve slowly gotten to know. When I poke my head out from my makeshift blanket there’s a glowing blue bunny-like creature. “Hi, Bumi.” It’s the only spirit that’s been willing to hang around me. I think he knows I’m not doing okay.

His glowing body snuggles under the covers with me, wholing up against my tummy. I card my hand through his liquidy fur as he starts to fall asleep. The faint buzzing of his ears is all I can hear after a while as I drift off as well.

…

I finally have a break from all my boring etiquette lessons, and Father didn’t give Zuzu anything to work on today. It’s been way, way too long since I’ve explored with Zuzu. He always has that dumb excuse of needing to do what Father tells him to, but today he can’t say that! I made sure of it!

“Come  _ on  _ Zuzu!” I say, stomping my foot. So what if I’m acting a little bit childish today. Those lessons were  _ so boring  _ and I’m never acting like that if I don’t have to ever again. So Zuzu needs to play with me or I’ll burn his room down.

“No, I don’t want to,” he sticks his lower lip out in a pout. Like that’ll do anything. “Besides, Lu Ten is coming today, I need to get everything ready!” So he wants to do Mother’s job. Well, I won’t stop him if he wants to be dumb and boring and do adult things instead of the  _ obviously _ better option of hanging out with me.

“Fine. Whatever.” I turn away, making sure my heels click on the ground as I walk. It always sounds more intimidating when Father does that. My shoes don’t click properly. I’ll have to ask Mother for new ones that have the right structure next time she has clothes made for us.

The palace is busier than normal with Uncle and Cousin returning home. Most people barely spare a moment to bow as they pass me, and my guards have dropped from three to merely two. I prefer it this way, of course. But it’s still annoying that I’m the afterthought.

If father was heir instead of Uncle this wouldn’t happen.

I make sure to evade them either way. Sure, they can follow me to practices or lessons or meal times without me trying to stop them, but they can’t explore with me. If they know my escape routes then I can’t get away from them. Not if they’re possible assassins, and not if they’re following orders. I don’t want that to happen. 

It takes a while since they’re learning, but I’m still small enough that it’s easy to get distracted or to pretend I’m just standing innocently. I’ll have to figure out what to do when I’m older. Probably be strong enough that Father can see I don’t need babysitters and avoiding them isn’t necessary.

I slip into some of the backgrounds that one of Mother’s maids tends to travel through. It was a lot harder to figure out that she was hiding something. For some reason Mother’s maids are better at keeping their secrets and moving silently. I don’t know why, but I assume Father only likes to keep the best around her. It’s not something that Mother would notice for herself, at least.

For all her caution she can’t tell the difference between a good spy and a bad one. Being equally weary of everyone is just as dumb as it is useless. At least I can pinpoint people who are stranger than others and make sure to track them down to their every movement and destroy all that they love.

I’ve seen Mother’s maid travel these halls a few times on her own, but never with others. It tends to be directly after she leaves Mother’s room. I very much need to know why.

One of the areas along the hall has a large painting of fire, similar to the type that hides passages but so much bigger and important looking. It’s just the symbol of the Fire Nation but it’s crafted far better. It’s shiny, it’s important, and it’s so easy to set fire to.

The hallway is clear when I blast it with orange.

The painting opens to a cozy looking room. There’s drapes along the walls and pillows stacked at the side. There’s a table with papers on top and underneath, and a chest locked in the corner. A couple of candles are sitting unlit on an unused dresser. For hiding places it’s pretty nice, but that doesn’t tell me  _ why _ Mother’s maid comes here.

I shuffle around the pillows and papers without finding anything really important. 

Maybe Mother’s maid is just weird.

Uncle and Lu Ten will be here soon enough, so I should go. Maybe I can challenge Lu Ten to a fight and knock him down. I feel myself get wrapped with the air, feeling it heat up around my skin, and I jump from one end of the room to the exit.

Sure, it’s not perfect. I can’t move as fast as Aang does. But I’m getting there. All I need to do is make the air explode behind me  _ faster _ and  _ bigger  _ and I can do it. I’m so, so close. And then Aang can teach me something else! Lu Ten won’t be able to figure out what’s happening.

I’m the first person who figured out how to make my fire  _ heat the air _ and move it! Sure, I can’t use whips yet, nor can I make my flames white, but I’ve figured out how to firebend the air and that’s more impressive than anyone else.

At least. I think that’s what’s happening. Aang says that he can’t bend anymore, so when he’s using the fast running thing it doesn't actually use airbending. Which just means that it  _ can _ be done without bending and I’m not able to yet. But I’ve figured out how to do something similar and possibly more impressive. And that’s good enough.

Zuzu probably brought Cousin to the garden like he always does, if he’s arrived already. Which he probably has.

Just as I thought, by the time I reach the garden - and after my guards found me, they really are annoying - Zuzu is with Lu Ten feeding turtle ducks. His favorite, most boring activity that Lu Ten never seems to complain about. He’s making Zuzu soft, too. Him, Uncle and Mother are bad influences. Well, that’s fine. It’s not like Zuzu will do anything important in the future. He can’t even make a good battle strategy.

“Zuzu! Cousin!” I slide a grin onto my face and make my eyes sparkle. I make sure not to move like Aang when I greet Lu Ten. He might use it to his advantage when we fight, and I need all the advantages I can get. He might be dumb, but he’s not an ashmaker, not like Zuzu is. He knows how to fight, and he’s already been part of battles with Uncle.

I’m not allowed to fight the lower-level soldiers, and the higher level ones always go easy on me and let me win. It’s frustrating because there’s no challenge, but Lu Ten is technically lower level with the rank of a higher level. He’s allowed to fight me, and he won’t know how to properly hold back.

“Lu Ten, Lu Ten!” I say, grabbing at his hand and dragging him away from the pond. I need to act cuter. He always ‘spoils’ me when I’m acting cute and dumb. I can’t wait until I’m strong enough to force him to obey me, just like Father can. 

“What, what?” He asks, grinning as I pull him to the training fields. “Where are we going?” I keep my smile on my face and act excited. He starts to seem excited as well, so it’ll be easier to convince him to play with me. Good.

“Let's fight! I wanna show you, I wanna show you! I beat Zuzu and I wanna show you what I learned!” And by show you, I mean show everyone that I’m stronger than you. But Lu Ten doesn’t need to know that. My guards are following behind, same with Zuzu’s. Since we’ll be in the training field it’ll be an open area, and practices should be on break right now. Normally a few people stay in the area for extra practice or punishment, so they can let everyone know that there’s a match and that the young princess is stronger than they expect.

I don’t let my smile sharpen, not yet.

Zuzu is dragging his feet behind us, but he’s still following. Father will probably have us spar more often after this, since Zuzu will need to catch up. He won’t be able to, but Father will punish him anyway.

“Are you sure?” His face twists in misplaced concern. At least I know he can’t hold back. He doesn’t know how to.

“Yeah!” While Lu Ten takes on a wobbly, not actually prepared stance I fall into the attacking position the soldiers have been learning. It’s aggressive and forward and it can  _ move _ . One of the soldiers at the side pokes the person sitting next to her and points at me. They recognize it. Good.

One of my guards sighs heavily and walks between us. “Go!” he says before quickly moving back. Right once he’s cleared the area I launch forward. It’s my normal running speed for now, there’s no reason to show my hand. Not yet.

I have a low center of gravity, which means he doesn't know how to fight people like me. And all of the firebending forms people learn are so. Motionless. I mean, sure, you move your feet and slide around a little, but it’s not fluid. It’s not like a flame. They don’t dance around the areas they can’t push against. I mean, sure, fire can be intense and direct, but anyone who watches a flame can see the movement.

Except, of course, these blind firebender teachers that just know nothing about the element they use. And they make sure that the firebenders that they teach are equally as blind. That Lu Ten is blind. 

It makes it easy to move around his punches and fire-propelled kicks. He doesn’t jump or flip or move. He doesn’t expect me to, doesn’t expect I can get behind him or under him or push him upward. When I use my fire to spin me in midair he doesn’t expect that either. And he doesn’t expect the strong gust of heated air to slam him into the ground.

He doesn't expect any of it, but I expected the groan that escapes his chest when he lands,  _ hard _ , on the dirt.

I crouch down next to him, poking at his slightly singed nose. This time my smile is sharp, just like Father’s. This time the light in my eye burns with the fire in my core, and this time I let my teeth show through, just slightly. When Father does this, when he shows he can destroy you and he  _ smiles _ to let everyone know it, I can see the fear in people’s eyes. I want to see that fear.

He needs to admit that I’m stronger.

It’s not there.

“Wow, that was impressive!” He says, instead. “You’re gonna be really strong when you grow up, huh.” No, no, no. I’m strong now you spark-eater. I beat you. I’m younger and I beat you completely. But he’s just smiling like it doesn't matter.

Noise starts to fill my ears as people start clapping, saying dumb things like ‘congradulations’ and ‘that’s impressive’ instead of  _ fear _ . It wasn’t enough. I should burn them. They  _ don’t understand they can’t get it what’s wrong with them why aren’t they afraid. _

I smile.

“Thanks!” I say, standing up. I should go do something else. Maybe some more training. I wonder if Aang has anything else for me to learn. Something that will really, truly impress them. I need to get better.

I might even have to ask Uncle to show me something. He knows how Lu Ten fights, he knows how soldiers fight. If this isn’t enough to scare them then I need to fight against someone stronger. Someone with experience. Someone that can show me how to  _ destroy them _ . 


	8. Assassin Scare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. This is entirely unedited and without a beta and I'm sorry about that. I just had finals, moved apartments and am starting my next school term so uh. it's a busy time. Hopefully I'll be able to go back and edit things to flesh them out once things calm down.

It’s so, so boring here. The palace is only full of idiots who rarely talk to me and gossips that only talk  _ about  _ me. And it’s never anything interesting. 

At least gossip is something that I can start as well, not just have it done to me.

“I wonder when Zuzu’s gonna leave tonight…” I mutter under my breath. There’s a few guards around, ones that just might be outside of hearing range but I know they aren’t. One of the guards has really good ears. She catches everything. So I know she heard, even if no one else did.

I also happen to know that, despite her strict appearance and dedication to the job, she’s incessantly curious about everything. She doesn't necessarily snoop, but her skills at being subtle are pathetic. She’ll be watching Zuzu closely for the next few days at least, especially if she’s friends with people guarding him during the nights. She’s friends with a lot of people, so I expect she’ll show up more often around his doors.

Next is the maids.

One of Zuzu’s maids is wandering around, probably cleaning his chambers or something like that. Boring things. 

“Um,” I say, shuffling my feet. My guards are still behind me, I know they can hear everything. They aren’t even out of normal hearing range. Which is fine, this isn’t meant to be secretly spread around. “Do you know if Mother can become Fire Lord? Or I can?” I don’t interact with Zuzu’s maids and they don’t know how I interact with Mother. They’re completely separate from me.

They don’t know this is a dumb question that I figured out years ago. Of course Mother can’t, but I can.

“Well, I don’t think so. Aren’t Fire Lords all men? I’m sure you could become the Fire Lady, though.” This maid is such an idiot. There’s no such thing as a Fire Lady, that’s why there hasn’t been one anywhere in the history books. It’s not that the previous lords haven’t gotten married. And it’s not like there haven’t been women lords.

No one cares about who the Fire Lord is married to, only the children matter. This is how it has been for hundreds of years.

“Really? Then, can Father become the Fire Lord?” I pretend to look distracted after asking that question. Instead of waiting for her answer I grin and run off, leaving her behind and my guards to chase after.

They’ve learned not to get too far behind.

I don’t know much about Zuzu’s maids, but none of them are trained in the way that mine are. They gossip. They trust people to tell the truth and they chatter and show their weaknesses in ways that mine never got the chance to. They always saw what happened to people who did before they acted out of turn. Zuzu is too soft on them and it shows in the way they talk around him. 

Mine know not to mention anything that I saw, not even to the other maids caring for me. They know it’s a trap.

I hope they mention Father’s claim to the throne.

I hope they mention  _ Zuzu’s _ claim to the throne.

Next I head to Zuzu’s room. It’s nothing strange for me to go hang out with him around now. Sure, he’s doing his work as normal, but that’s never stopped me before. And sure, sometimes I take this time to work on my own studying and training, but it isn’t that weird for me to skip out for a couple hours and train later in the day. It is hot, after all. And I  _ am _ a princess. 

My guards don’t seem surprised, and they’re the ones I normally put on an act for. 

“Hi Zuzu,” I say, stepping into the room. It hasn’t changed much in the past few years. Still depressing, nothing burned down, Zuzu sitting at his desk that’s finally the right size for him. He really takes forever to grow. I’m almost as big as him, and I’m only 7.

“Go away Azula.” I pout, moving closer. I could sit on his bed, or I could stand behind him and watch him work until he can’t ignore me anymore and gets uncomfortable. I like that plan. So I go,a nd I stand, and I wait. He tries to shift away a couple of times, and once he blocks my eyes from seeing his stupid plans and bad handwriting. 

I still don’t move when he slams a book down on his desk and turns around, shoving his face right up against mine. “What do you want.”

“Nooothing!” I sing, grinning. I don’t need to soften my smile, to look like Mother does around him. Zuzu knows I’m not going to say anything nice. It’s the sharp smile I use to tell him something bad happened. Or will happen. Or what I want to happen. The ratio has been getting better and better, so Zuzu has been getting more apprehensive when I make this smile. 

Good.

“What.”

“I said it was nothing, Zuzu. You don’t believe me?”

“Fine, I won’t ask. Leave me alone.”

“Aww, I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. I’m working. You have work to do. Go away.”

“But I already finished mine. I could help you with yours, you know. Just this once.”

“Why…?” Zuzu asks, slowly. I don't think he’s actually considering it. I wouldn’t if he offered. 

“We can’t let you seem  _ too  _ useless, Zuzu. You’re already an easy target.”

“What do you mean?” I get closer to his desk, starting to look over his papers. I was right - these look way too easy. Father got me started on them a few weeks ago and already I can make better strategies than Zuzu can. It’s so sad my brother is such an idiot. He could be even more fun to mess with if he was smart. Maybe. I don’t like messing with Lu Ten, but he’s just annoying. Even if he’s a little bit smarter than Zuzu.

“See, you just need to move this group over here. Otherwise they mess up the fighting power on this side by having too many people. It’ll just hurt the force. You can’t have too many people, Zuzu. It’s wasteful. Haven’t you seen how we fight?”

“Azula! What did you mean!” 

“Ugh,” I say, throwing my head back. He took the bait. Of course he did, I doubt he could even tell it was just dangling there for him to see and catch hold of. He probably thought I made a mistake.

I don’t make mistakes.

I turn a short glare on him, just enough that he seems a bit weary. It’s one of the guard’s types of glares. Not really angry but just trying to show their authority when they don’t actually have any.

“I heard some people talking about succession. For the throne.”

“So? Uncle’s going to be the next fire Lord. Why are you so quiet about it?”

“ _ Because  _ if I talk about what they said it might be treasonous. They were talking about the war. And Uncle attacking Ba Sing Se. And Cousin going with him to aid in the battle. You know, if they die then it’s Father who will become the Fire Lord.”

“I… didn’t think about that.”

“Of course you didn’t. And if Father becomes the Fire Lord then you’re next in line after him, since you’re the eldest. No way people would allow that, though. You’re too weak. Like Mother.”

“Mother isn’t weak!”

“Yes, she is. She can’t even firebend. And you barely can. If anyone tried to come after you, well. You would have to depend on the guards to protect you.” Zuzu’s eyes darken. He knows what that means, and I don't even have to tell him. Mother has. Over and over to both of us for as long as I can remember.

I just need to wait. He’ll do the rest to himself.

“Why won’t you just leave?” Ha! He’s about to cry! But fine, I’ll let him do that alone. 

“Fine, I will. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I skip out of the room. Uncle always hates it when I skip. He says it means I’m acting improper. That I’ll get into trouble and make him work harder. He taught Zuzu not to like me skipping, too, which just makes Zuzu unnerved when I do it. Silly Uncle. At least he helped my plans this time, even if he’s annoying.

Now I only skip when I decide to. Father says never to give your plans away, not unless it helps you. 

Maybe I should go talk with Mother. Now that my groundwork is set I might as well keep Mother happy.

Keep her from hearing whatever rumors get started up surrounding Zuzu as they slowly feed into his mind, causing it to run over and over and over with all the possibilities, until he can’t sleep and I can suggest things he’ll believe without question, until he can’t stand to be around people for weeks after.

It’ll be annoying if Mother got in the way. 

Mother’s chambers are closer to Father’s then they are mine and Zuzu’s. Which isn’t bad, per se. It just takes a while to get there. It’s not like I have all day to waste. There’s other important things to get done. Like telling the maids to get me different snacks. Or greeting Father. I’m busy and these halls need to be shorter.

“Mother!” I shout, smiling up at her. I know she doesn’t always believe my smile, but this time her eyes are less shadowed at the sight of me. Maybe she’ll believe it today. Maybe she’ll confuse me for Zuzu again. I put on my best Zuzu expression, making my smile look shy, forcing my body to look meak and small.

Sometimes she doesn’t like seeing me. So she just doesn’t. 

“Hi, baby! You finished working early, huh?” She opens her arms for a hug and I more than willingly oblige. Zuzu wouldn’t refuse her hug. Zuzu still hugs her. She still hugs Zuzu. She definitely doesn’t see me right now, so she won’t worry about him for a couple more days.

“Hey! Uncle helped me!” I can’t say I did. “He made it really easy.”

“Oh, is Iroh back?” 

No. “Yeah! He and Lu Ten are staying for a few days. Uncle is planning an attack on the Northern Water Tribe, so he came back to get troops and more ships!”

“He is, huh? Well, I should wish him luck.” She won’t. 

“Mommy! I figured out a new move!” I shout, escaping from her arms and running into an open area of her room. I crouch low, making my face scrunch up in concentration before showing her a simple flip. It’s something I figured out months ago, but Zuzu is only just starting to learn it. So I stumble a bit, landing on my leg in a way that looks painful but does nothing.

“Oh, honey! Are you okay?” She scrambles to my side and I choke out a sob. 

“Mommy, it hurts.” I crouch over my leg, holding it close so she can’t touch it until I let her. I slowly, slowly release it, letting her fingers brush against the knee where she thinks I damaged it. She just needs to pay more attention to this version of Zuzu, the one that has time to play with her and is comforted by her words.

“Alright baby, do you want me to take you to the physician? Does it hurt that much?” Zuzu never hurts enough for that. Not since his leg broke and they let it heal wrong only to re-break it. Father told them his son wasn’t allowed to walk strangely, not even a little, and if the physician couldn’t manage to fix him then they wouldn't be kept around.

He didn’t keep them anyway. Zuzu walks normally, though. 

I shake my head no, sniffling a little. 

“Look at you, my strong boy. Come on, let’s sit on the bed.” She lifts me up. I’ll have to deal with being babied for a while, but at least she won’t check in with Zuzu. 

...

Uncle decided that we’re going to the beach today. Which means I have to deal with Zuzu and Lu Ten and all the dumb games they come up with, and I can’t even slip away to do soemthing else when they get too annoying. 

Mother brought a swimsuit for me to wear but there’s no way I’m putting that thing on. It’s frilly. Zuzu gets shorts that are bright red so that even if he gets lost in the water he’ll be easy to find.

They play dragons, which is already a dumb game when Mother plays the head dragon, but it’s even worse when Lu Ten lets Zuzu be head. Zuzu doesn’t know what to do! He can’t give orders, and he’s never been good at coming up with battles or quests.

I manage to convince them that I went rogue and set up my own group of dragons living on a different part of the beach. It worked well enough that I don’t have to watch them make fools of themselves.

I dip my toes into the water, letting the hot sand contrast the freezing waves. I can barely hear Zuzu’s shouts over the crashing, and Uncle’s encouragements are entirely lost. Thank Agni. Instead I can just breath in the ocean air and watch the crashing waves. It’s boring, sure, but anything’s better than dealing with those boys. Uncle included.

Their stupid games are pointless. I’m sure Father feels the same - it would be so much more useful to train, or at the very least do a type of game that also helps you train. Zuzu really needs that type of game.

Meditating would be more interesting than this stupid trip. At least that has a goal, a purpose. This is just useless time spent around dumb people I don’t even like. Father didn’t even come, so I can’t show him what I’ve learned. I could try training on the sand. It’s a shifting surface that’s hard to get any grounding on, which means Aang’s movements might be even more effective here. But I don’t want to show Zuzu or Lu Ten anything I’ve been working on. 

Surprises are always best for showing off. Father likes it when I can surprise him. Aang does, too.

Aang would think it’s cool if I can meditate and enter the spirit world he likes to talk about. That could be cool, and maybe I can somehow show Father once I figure it out. He liked the flips I learned from Aang.

Of course he did. I am a genius, after all.

The water keeps reaching closer and closer to me, passing my knees and getting colder against my warm skin. It’s a bit annoying, so I glare. If I wanted to be annoyed I would have stayed with three idiots and Mother.

Instead I just scoot further up onto the sand.

Mother will probably force us to go to a play later. Father isn’t with us, so it’s the best time to do anything without Father yelling at her or Zuzu. Plus, Uncle enjoys a little theater now and again. Lu Ten is more okay with it than I am. Maybe I can convince her to leave me here under the watch of my guards. I’m a firebender, so getting cold isn’t an issue for me.

Ah, wait. Some stupid firebenders like Zuzu can get cold. Even Father does sometimes. Maybe it’s just me. Their bodies must be too weak.

I groan, leaning back and kicking my feet a little. The water droplets are fun to watch, at least. Sometimes they sparkle with rainbows in the air, and sometimes they hover a bit before falling down. 

Wait a second.

I toss some more up. They glitter, sticking together in little balls as they reach the top of their arch. For a brief moment they pause before falling back down into the water. Except a couple of them pause again before they reach. 

There’s a snow savage. I don’t know where or why. What’s the use of giving themself away before attacking? To cause paranoia? I won’t let them. Maybe they’re testing me, seeing if I’m as dumb as Zuzu is. Father wouldn’t bring a waterbender here specifically for a test, so it’s more likely an assassin. Maybe an organization doing their recon before figuring out the best way to wipe out the royal family.

Of course they would do that now. Father isn’t around, and Uncle is the only other person who might notice. Except he’s too busy laughing with his eyes closed over something Zuko and Lu Ten did. That idiot is going to get murdered. He deserves it for letting down his guard just because Zuko and Lu Ten are around. 

So I won’t say anything, but I’ll be prepared. If Uncle and Lu Ten die, Father will be next in line to become the Fire Lord. And there’s no way he’d ever allow Zuko to be in line after him, so I would be next. That would be best for everyone, after all. Grandfather is doing a fine job, sure. And Father would probably be fine as well. But they seem stuck. Like the bending they teach for new soldiers. If only they learned how to  _ move _ everything they did could be so much more deadly.

I wonder when the snow savage will make their move. Probably not today. If this really was recon, and it seems like it, then there shouldn’t be an attack today. But I still shouldn’t give them the opportunity. Which means I need to go with Mother, Zuzu, Lu Ten and Uncle. To watch a play.

Maybe the assassins would be more fun to deal with.

I sigh when Mother calls me over, packing up her things. It’s time to watch a play.

…

A week has passed without anything new from the possible assassins. I still haven’t told anyone. If Father knew he would be upset - I should be able to deal with this on my own. Fire is stronger than water, there’s no way I could lose to a snow savage. An earthbender maybe, or a firebender. But not water. If I did then I would be a disgrace, I would have the same skill level of Zuzu and that’s unacceptable.

So I stay quiet but vigilant. Just less obviously than Mother or Zuzu do when they think they’re about to be killed. Which is more often now. Zuzu freaks out all the time, and the bags under his eyes are growing darker with every passing day. Good. Even if the assassination he thinks is going to happen is fake, at least he’s more aware for the real one that’s coming.

I managed to make him think he was eating maggots, though. That’s the only highlight of my week, but it’s a good one. Until Mother scolded me again and sent me away. That part was less fun.

I don’t tell Aang about it, either, even though I visit him more often than I normally would. The assassins can’t attack me if they can’t find me, after all. And why would the wonderfully dedicated princess travel down to the dungeons when she has a free moment.

I don’t tell him because he would talk to Zuzu. If he thinks Zuzu is in danger, then he’ll definitely spill that info to Zuzu. He’s a goody-two-shoes like that. I think. It sounds like it from his stories, at least. 

Though his mischief stories are fun. Like that time he put rocks under someone’s mattress, or a snake in a closed food jar. He said it was a non-poisonous snake, but that isn’t necessarily a requirement for the prank.

When Zuzu finally calms down about his stupid not-real assassins I’m going to put a few blades under his mattress. To see what happens. They probably won’t cut him too badly, especially not if he notices that his bed was messed with. If he’s smart then he’ll know.

He’s not smart. But it will still be funny if he gets semi-deep cuts.

I might even be able to get one of the guards to do it, so Zuzu won’t even be able to tie it back to me. There are a few who broke some rules and I saw. They would be easiest to convince to do it. Sleeping on the job wouldn’t be enough to use as incentive, but stealing might. Sure, none of it was that important, but stealing from royalty is a highly punishable crime. 

There were two guards that snuck away from their post as well. I have the date, time and location of that. Which is probably enough to indebt them to me. I don’t know what they were doing but I can guess it is secretive enough to count. It might be enough.

Sadly nothing would be enough to get someone to do the same to Lu Ten’s bed. He’s actually worth something to the nation. 

There’s still nothing happening with the snow savages slash assassins. If I didn’t know better I would assume Mother’s hallucinations have infected me, but that isn’t possible. Everything else that happens is provable as real.

I let myself avoid water for a few days after I saw them messing with the ocean, but that strategy isn’t working nearly well enough. I still think about the possibility of every cup of liquid I drink being used to destroy me from the inside. I’ve tried Mother’s way of dealing with issues. Now it’s time to use Father’s.

Brute force.

If they are so interested in waiting until I am alone with water to act, I just have to give them that bait and destroy them before they can take it. So I do. 

The two guards watching me are the ones that disappeared before, and I can tell they’re planning to again. There’s a look in their eyes that happens every time. More incentive to use against them, at least. Especially if there’s an assassin and they fail to protect me, fail to even know I was attacked until after it’s taken care of.

No matter what happens, it can only be good for me.

I wait for a little bit, meditating in front of a small pond in one of the less used gardens. Not fully meditating, just waiting, watching, and listening for any hint of an attacker. My guards slip away. There’s still nothing.

When I next open my eyes it’s to glare at the water that refuses to show me wht I want. If there’s no attacker than what has been the point of my paranoia this past week? I’m not Mother. I’m not Zuko. It’s unbefitting of a princess, of Father’s child, to act and think in the way I have been. And that needs to change.

The pond starts to frost over.

I take in a breath, calming down. I close my eyes again, stretching my senses to figure out where anything is coming from, anything dangerous. It’s the silence of the world ringing through my ears. The wind blows, creating a whirlwind in my head, so I turn and let the wind catch differently. My hearing clears again. Still nothing.

I breathe out and can hear the ice slip back into the water.

They’re here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	9. Breathing Blue

These freaking snow savages have no idea when to attack! I’ve been waiting and watching. I’ve felt the water freeze suddenly, and I’ve seen it floating at times. I know, I  _ know _ that they’re around. No one else seems to be on alert -

(other than Zuzu. I couldn’t get the two guards to put knives, but they make noise in his room at night which is good enough. He can’t sleep, he can’t think, he can barely eat. It’s pretty funny) 

\- but I can’t just put them on alert without having solid evidence. They won’t believe me. They’re too much of idiots to tell that there’s danger, and idiots only trust their eyes. Even Father is an idiot in that regard.

It  _ is  _ at the point that I tell Aang, though. He can tell I’m annoyed.

“Why would someone try and assassinate you?” He asks, like an idiot.

“I’m the princess of the Fire Nation. There are tons of people who probably want to do it, and even a couple who would be able to. People want to reach our greatness and are willing to go through any method to do it.” Aang raises an eyebrow at me. Sure, I was paroting Mother’s words at him, but that is still true.

“But you’re a kid.”

“So? I show promise. That’s all they need.” Aang stays silent for a moment. He gets this weird look on his face, something that I haven’t seen before. Like he’s going to deal with some really annoying advisors who just won’t listen.

“I’m… going to try something. When you leave. Just to see if maybe I can help.” I stare at him, locked in a cell, already weak enough that standing gets difficult. Maybe he’s delusional like Mother is. 

Maybe being the avatar lets him do things that others aren’t capable of. Like being able to leave his cell even in this state and without anyone knowing. He can already go into the spirit world - according to him - so this might just be another one of those things. He’s the only one who can move like he can, so maybe it’s an airbender thing. We don’t tend to have them in our dungeons. 

Over the next few days I don’t notice anything different, nor do I go visit Aang. He wasn’t any help and it’s a waste of time talking to useless people. Instead I spend as much time around Father as I can. That and I make sure to stay near guards that I actually trust.

It’s not like I want to act so pathetic, and I can’t stay on high alert forever. Even with my stamina, that’s asking too much. Mother might have already notice that I haven’t been escaping from my guards. If she has, she never told me. I doubt she’ll care enough to bring it up to me. That’s not like her.

Instead I fill my days as normal - studying, practicing, bothering Zuzu. It’s not terrible, but it’s still boring. How am I supposed to explore when someone’s watching my every move? Not that I can actually tell if there’s someone watching or if they only show up when I’m alone. They have to know when I’m alone, so they must be watching somehow. I grew up in the eyes of the public, with my Father and my guards and the maids and servants and advisors all watching me. I can sense when eyes are following. I can feel when people are watching.

I can’t feel these snow savages.

Though, there have been a few times that I’ve caught glimpses of a strange blue thing in rooms. It doesn’t look like a person, not really. I can’t tell exactly what it is. But it’s nearly see-through. Maybe a sheet of water that the snow savages are bending, but there’s nothing wet left in the area it shows up at. 

That, and I can only catch it out of the corner of my eye. It’s not a hallucination, though. I know it. I’m not Mother, I’ll never be Mother, so I can’t have hallucinations. That’s not how it works. 

The next time it happens when I’m in my room, alone. The doors are closed, the windows are locked, and there’s no way for someone to get in. Even my tunnel is blocked just in case someone manages to figure those out.

There’s something or someone in here. Even if I can’t feel their eyes.

I’m making too much noise to hear them. It might be my breath, or the sound of brush on paper. I can’t hear them, and they’re silent enough to keep it that way. I can shout for my guards, but if someone is this close then they will be useless. I’ve learned how to fight. My bending is yellow now, only tinged with orange. I’ve learned how Aang moves without moving many muscles. I just need to hold whoever this is long enough to scream and alert my guards. I need to catch them. If I don’t then I won’t be able to sleep.

Let them come. I’m tired of waiting.

The blue flashes keep happening and confusing my eyes and brain, so I tune it out. If my eyes get confused I can just use my ears and feel the air over my skin. Easy. Just like I’ve learned to do, I extend my senses out beyond myself. I can feel the air traveling around me, just barely moving as I breath and it circulates. When my skin starts buzzing I open my eyes slowly, still staying silent, holding my breath with a scream waiting to escape. I scan my eyes around.

There’s been no sound, no movement, just a feeling. I have to find something.

The blue is still there, a wispy form that comes together just enough to show a face.

I move my eyes past it. Mother hallucinates, not me.

There’s still nothing. No reason to fight, no reason to scream. No way to get rid of the tingling under my skin. Nothing to explain the water shifting around in my glass or the annoyance building in my chest, gripping around my ribs. Maybe this is how Zuzu feels. It’s what he looks like.

I avoid Aang for a few more days.

There’s books in the library that talk about Avatars. There’s nothing about Aang specifically, but there is someone named Avatar Roku. Most books call him a traitor of the Nation, but there are a couple that talk about his abilities. There’s one book that talks about how the past lives are all connected and how the Avatars cycle through each of the nations in turn.

It doesn’t say why.

It also doesn’t talk about the Avatar being able to leave their body and show themselves to other people. That could just fall under the ‘bridge between worlds’ thing, but that doesn't really make sense. Unless he really is a spirit, and the entire ‘bridge’ thing means that he can exist in this world as a spirit? But of course there isn’t any information on that extending beyond the dumb ‘bridge between worlds’ phrase. Stupid documents can’t even do a good job.

Supposably the current Avatar is able to talk with past Avatars, but it doesn't say anything more than that. I’m not willing to go down that path quite yet.

Father has kept Aang prisoner for being the Avatar since I was born. I refuse to allow that to happen to me. I also can’t tell him because I don’t know for certain. I could be wrong. And where would that put me? Therefore, I can’t go down this train of thought. 

Instead I keep researching. I try asking Mother, but she isn’t able to answer any of my questions. Uncle might have, but there is no way I’m talking to that man willingly. 

An opportunity shows itself as Father prepares to present Zuzu to the world. Again. For some reason he decided Zuzu deserved it this year as well. Or maybe Grandfather did. Or Uncle. Either way, the palace is being filled with annoying people and annoying colors and it’s so much harder to move around with all of this activity.

I refuse to stay locked in my room, even if it’s so much easier. Easy is not my thing.

Instead I find the stupidest looking spark-eaters in the palace. They stand together, dressed head to toe in long red robes and pointed red and gold hats rising far above them. They look like festival dolls that Mother used to give me.

Those ones always did burn the nicest. 

I walk up to the closest one. He’s standing perfectly still, not paying any attention to the people shifting and disappearing in front of him. There are only men in the group, just like Father’s advisors. Similar to Father’s advisors, they pay no attention to me as I face them, drawing closer than anyone else in the room. While it doesn’t look like they’re being avoided, no one else in the room makes to approach the group. It’s strange. It’s intriguing. It might even be interesting, but that has yet to be seen.

“Who even are you?” I ask, lifting my chin. They don’t look particularly impressive, even with their stuffy clothing. It’s nowhere near the level of elegance my outfit has. I can tell it’s meant to gain respect, of course, and by the looks of everyone around us these people have some capability that I don’t know about. I don’t like that.

“Hello, Princess,” one of them says. Not the closest one. The guy who talks is older, and he gives a small bow to me. The others do as well, though it’s barely a nod of the head. Rude. “We are the Fire Sages.” He doesn’t say anything else. Like that means anything to me. It’s probably something that stupid people learn about in their schools. Or Lu Ten because Uncle teaches him ridiculous, frivolous things. Father said so.

Aang never mentioned anything about them before, either. 

“Is that supposed to mean something?” I ask, tone sharp. Like Mother's is when talking to someone that insulted Zuzu. Hm, I don’t like that sound. I don’t actually care about what they are. Next time I should sound more like Grandfather when a lowborn noble comes with a request. Yes, that should match better.

“Yes, Princess. We will be the ones conducting your marriage, when the time comes.” I hate this man and his stupid smile and his eyes that show that he’s not interested in what I’m saying. I hate his assumptions and his bad acting. He doesn’t even get close to looking happy. His eyes aren’t crinkled. That’s basic information, the easiest part of acting.

He opens his dumb mouth again, but I start talking before a sound can escape. “So you’re practically useless, huh.” The man in front of me stiffens, and the one talking just smiles wider. Ugh.

“Not at all, child. We are elite benders, charged with protecting the High Temple and the history of the Fire Nation.”

“Hmm,” I hum. I can see the irritation boiling under their skin already. These poor, dumb old men haven’t dealt with many people it seems. Challenging them on this level is child’s play, it’s not even fun. “I don’t know. If we have the royal library, what do we need you for? I mean, look at you.” I walk directly in front of the oldest member of these so called Fire Sages. “A gust of wind could knock you over.” I’m so very tempted to prove my point, but that could draw annoying attention. 

One of the younger Sages tries to step forward, but he’s held back by the first guy. The one that didn’t react as I got closer.

“What, you accept children? Really. I bet you can’t fight, let alone know enough to take care of books.” His eye twitches. Delightful, he really is just a child. The younger maids always act like this when they first start waiting on me.

I wonder if Father would allow me to spar with this boy. It shouldn't do any harm, of course. If Father never thought I should know about them, he won’t care if I ridicule them. I wonder why Grandfather decided to invite them along. It is just Zuzu’s celebration, after all. Though that might be why. It’s lowly enough to allow these people to grace the party with their boring presence. 

“Now Princess, the Fire Sages are very important to the Fire Nation. We also protect the history of all past Avatars, watching and training them to assist the Fire Lord.” Well, that was a lie. If so then Aang wouldn’t be locked up in the cells below the palace. That or they failed their job.

And they deserve to know that. “Clearly you’ve done a bad job of that. The most recent Avatar doesn’t serve the Fire Lord, I doubt he even knows firebending.” I know he doesn’t. He doesn’t know any bending, at least none that he’s shown me. Except whatever that spirit trick was, but I have doubts that it was related to bending.

“We never had the chance -” yet again one started talking, and that quiet man stopped him. 

The stupid smiling one kept speaking for the group. “Very true, Princess. We were not able to speak with the Avatar before your Father took him into custody.” Ah, so now he’s shifting his incompetence onto Father. Not the smartest plan, though I can see the appeal.

“Is that so? The Third Prince is that troublesome, isn’t he.” Third Prince. Father’s technical title as the third in line. Still far, far higher than these dumb Fire Sages can ever hope to go. Not with their boring, gaudy robes or their frail bodies or the children making up their ranks.

And they just spoke this to the Second Princess. The favorite grandchild of Fire Lord Azulon.

I can see when the already sun-deprived man starts to pale. The quiet one finally takes over, breaking his silence and directly acknowledging me. “Princess, we mean no disrespect. We Fire Sages are the guardians of the Avatar, responsible for identifying new Avatars and teaching them to control their firebending. It is our sacred duty to protect, and we have failed.”

Yes, they have.

“You have, haven’t you. And you even managed to insinuate that my Father is the one at fault for that.”

“Yes, and it was a grave mistake, one that we hope to rectify in the future.” This one might be a little fun to break. I won’t be able to burn him, not like my dolls, but it should be close enough to curb my frustration.

If he has information on the Avatar, then he might even prove useful.

“In that case, come with me.” I turn away, not waiting for him to follow. It’s what Grandfather does with his advisors. I only hear one pair of footsteps walking a short distance behind me. He left the other Sages behind. Good. I don’t want to deal with their stupidity any longer.

I lead him to the garden, to the tree I burned down years ago. It doesn’t smolder any longer, but the left over stump is still there. I didn’t burn the tree down to the roots, I didn’t have enough fire to do that, nor enough control. I could now, if I felt like it. Instead it stays here as a symbol of Zuzu's inferiority to a younger sister that could bend two years younger than he could.

Even if that meant I remember only learning to bend after him.

I hop up onto the burned stump, already worn smooth from the other times I’ve sat here. The Sage continues to stand, hands folded behind his back.

“Tell me about the Avatar.” The man nods his head before opening his mouth to speak.

“What do you wish to know? The tales of Roku and those before him? The way the Avatar has changed the worlds of past to those of today?”

“What makes them a bridge between the spirit world and ours.” I don’t ask. He has to tell me, there’s no reason to lower myself to questions.

The man nods, accepting his place. “The Avatar, as you surely know, had past lives that are able to be drawn on. The past Avatars allow them to wield all four elements perfectly, and the connection to the past Avatars give the current Avatar the ability to hold far more information than any normal person could.” That doesn’t answer my question.

And yet he continues his non-answer. “It is believed that if the average person had access to the knowledge of their past lives, they would be far wiser than any average person alive, and the skills they had in the past would be carried into their new life. The connection to your past self means that you can remember your death and may even have the knowledge of the time of your death. More importantly, the space after death. The spirit world. Your soul has already passed over and then decided to come back before completing a full cycle. 

“Because the Avatar is able to remember their past lives there is a stronger connection with the spirits. Their spirit is able to remember what it was like to live as a spirit, and that allows them to act as a bridge.”

That was less dumb than I was expecting, but I’ve met Aang. He’s an idiot and doesn’t have any of the basic knowledge or history of the Fire Nation. He was Avatar Roku in the past, and Avatar Roku definitely learned about Fire Nation history. Aang can access the Spirit World but he’s not using the knowledge of past Avatars.

Aang can be a spirit in the physical world, but he’s not using the knowledge of past Avatars.

“How do you know that?” It must be made up. Just stupid people thinking they can reason their way into understanding, even when they aren’t capable of anything.

“There have been many generations of Fire Sages dedicated to studying the history of the Avatar. Though we do not claim to hail from the very first, we have been following them for as long as the Fire Nation has existed.”

“So you don’t know. It’s okay, no one really expected anything else. How did you even manage to stumble your way to this information?” I tilt my head, just a little. Why would these useless people even talk to the Avatar? And why would they still be allowed in the Fire Nation after Aang attempted to harm Father?

Ridiculous.

“In nearly all previous generations, the Avatar has been loyal to the Fire Lord. As they should be. Every cycle the Avatar comes back to us, just as the one before them did. They serve the Fire Lord as their closest advisor, bringing honor to the Fire Nation.”

That’s also wrong. From what I’ve found, Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin were enemies. Then again, I don’t read the books given to the citizens to study. This man probably did not have access to our library and the true history. 

Firelord Sozin was against the avatar 100 years ago, and their battle resulted in Avatar Roku’s death. This Fire Sage knows nothing, and Father is too cautious to let that same thing happen to him. Azulon is too cautious to let that happen.

Even if I am his favorite grandchild.

…

I practice in secret over the next few months. All of those times I thought my form was finally clicking into place was just me using airbending the way Aang uses it. Passively, as an extra boost. Able to go hidden through my every movement. I can’t use it like I use my fire, but at least I won’t get caught.

I don’t know how to control water, not yet, and that makes it dangerous. Any time I glare at it the stuff freezes or moves or does something that might give me way. I don’t even hold a glass of it in my hand for long in case it tries to do something. Thankfully we haven’t gone back to that stupid beach again. It’s bad enough that my maids always try and help me in the baths, even when I tell them to go away.

Now they’ve resigned themselves to assisting me after I have left the water, but it’s still a near thing sometimes. I should get rid of them soon since they’ve become such a pain. But the new ones are normally even more annoying, even if they’re more fun to mess with. At least these ones know how to do my grooming properly.

Ah, decisions, decisions.

There’s also the issue of the masters that Father has been allowing me to see. While I do appreciate having a proper teacher, finally, these ones are almost useless. Everything they try to show me are things that I’ve already done, and things that they’re mostly useless at anyway. Their kicks have nothing behind them. They’re easy to dodge, even when I’m not using air to boost me.

Their flames are weak, all of them only reaching a dark, nearly red orange. Dumb. But Father does not want to give me his personal guards, and the teachers who would be actually useful are considered honorary and only meant for high ranking students.

I can’t be high ranking if I'm not yet a student. It’s ridiculous - who’s ever heard of a princess of the Fire Nation being unable to learn proper fighting? 

“Wonderfully done, Princess,” my current teacher says. Of course it was. I learned it forever ago, and his stupid so called assitence has been useless. I just do the movements like Aang has told me and I trust my body to know when something’s wrong. His instructions try and lead me in the opposite direction. He’s used to teaching older, dumber students. Not me.

Not that there’s someone else anywhere close to who I am. If there was I would want to meet them, see how long it takes to break them down to their core and assure they can never face me again without fear shining in their cold, dead eyes.

But alas, it would be impossible to find someone of my caliber. 

I wonder if I can get rid of this teacher soon. My first one was removed after I beat him with Father as witness. The second one was similar, though only my guards were watching the fight with her. The third and fourth were also easy enough, though I did wait to learn anything that they had to offer before showing that I was better. 

This one, though. I won’t let him last a week. Not if he keeps drilling me on the basics that I have already perfected. 

He seems a little better than the others, I’ll give him that. He walks differently, and he breathes differently. It’s like the air heats inside of him the same way it does in me. But that’s useless if the damn spark-eater doesn’t show me something better than the freaking  _ stances _ over and over again.

I don’t want to deal with him anymore, and the only way to get rid of a master is to destroy them.

I send a whip of fire at him, strengthening it with spiraling air, springing forward the moment he tries to dodge. By the time he reorients himself, landing back on the ground, I’m there. “I don’t see why  _ you’re _ the one teaching me,” I say, keeping my voice calm. He seems to have expected an attack, one of the past masters likely warned him. That’s what they’ve been doing the past couple times. 

He sends a blast of heat at the whip, consuming it and redirecting. I send a gust of wind to blow it right back into his face. He probably won’t notice, and there aren’t other people to watch me and figure anything out.

“Didn’t you train your brother?” I ask. It’s something a guard mentioned in passing when they thought I wasn’t listening. I always listen, I just don’t normally care. Some of the guards know that. Specifically the ones that have learned to do what I want them to. They know secrets get out if they don’t do what I say.

The master’s resulting stumble gave me time to send a blast through my feet. Not using the stupid basics that he taught me. Zuzu can learn the basics all he wants, I want  _ more _ . 

It’s not my fault the master’s weak. Or that his brother was weaker. And it’s definitely not my fault that he cares about any of it. It’s pathetic enough that he lost concentration during a fight. If Father doesn’t decide to get rid of him then I’ll have my guards take action.

Then he’ll have more important things to deal with than teaching me his dumb basics. Maybe next time I can get Father’s guards to teach me. Or the twin advisors.

This guy didn’t go down, though. I should have expected. He does seem stronger than the previous ones. More cautious, too. Like he’s watching me, waiting for me to slip up. It’s a nice feeling, to know someone can tell they should be cautious. I wonder if this is how Father feels. Or how Grandfather feels.

But this man just bows. Boring.

I sigh, starting to walk away. “Go home or whatever. I’m bored, so practice is done.” If he isn’t going to face me properly or teach me interesting things then he should go back and watch his wife rot. That’s where his mind is, anyway.

My guards try to follow, but I lose them soon enough. I don’t want to deal with their annoyances. I’m going to visit Aang. I haven’t seen the flashes of blue in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I created an entire character sheet for the newest master that Azula's trying to get rid of. Here it is!  
> He has a wife, but she's sick and dying at this point in time. He thinks that strengthening the body and basics is most important because his sibling (this is the brother that was referenced) tried to excel in training too fast and too far. Instead of being able to show off and be amazing they lost their footing in a crutial point and broke their back? Now they can't work or take care of themself and are super depressed. He does ahve good things in life, though. He enjoys cooking, especially with his wife, even though it's not something that a soldier is meant to do. He never had children, but not for lack of trying. It just didn't work out, so he started teaching instead. He likes being around kids, but Azula scares him at times. She refuses to listen to his instructions, and he doesn't like that even though her instincts turn out to be right. She doens't look/move like a firebender, and he's afraid that will reflect on him and Ozai will punish him. That's another reason he drills the basics.


	10. Earth before Play

I’m being dragged to the theater again. Mother just  _ has _ to watch this dumb play with the dumb spirits again, and Zuzu has to be so dang excited for it instead of just behaving like a normal prince. Acting with dignity.

He’s so pathetic.

He’s finally calmed down about the whole fake attempted murder thing, though. So that’s nice. It got annoying when he stopped eating because he was afraid there was poison. And yeah, maybe I was the one who reminded him that anything and everything could be an assassination plot, but he didn’t have to believe me to the point of passing out.

Mother was annoying to deal with after that happened. She tried to lock me in my room for an entire three hours of the most mind numbing time of the entire year. She even had one of her maids watching me to make sure I didn’t escape. It was even one that had been trained with me, so I couldn’t trip her up! 

I swear, my mind was going to split with boredom. 

Either way, Zuzu is no longer freaking out and Mother refuses to look at me. So a win on both fronts.

I’m still forced to go watch the stupid play, though. This time Mother managed to convince Father to come, but I don’t know how that happened. I’m certain he hates them more than I do. I’m certain it’s not to make Mother happy, he doesn’t do that unless there’s something he wants, and I can’t think of anything else he needs from her. It might be for something in the future. Or he’s annoyed at his advisors and the boring work he does.

That would make sense. Uncle is doing the fun stuff, taking over cities, planning sieges. Father is left with the paperwork. If Zuzu were out playing around and I had to clean up after him, I would want to get away too. Not like Zuzu could ever lead an army. Maybe Lu Ten, but I wouldn’t clean up after him. I wonder how easy it would be to remove him as a future problem…

Either way, that won’t happen for a while longer. I haven’t come of age yet. Not even Father will expect me to manage the country in any capacity for another few years.

Mother funnels Zuzu, Father and I into the theater entrance and up to the balcony. There are rows of people below us, just like normal, and Zuzu excitedly looks over the edge. He’s leaning far enough that a slight shove would send him over. I don’t do it, but it would be so,  _ so  _ easy.

Ugh, this is going to take  _ forever _ . 

I make sure to sit properly the entire time as the characters are introduced, and the poor damsel wanders around the stage, lost. Then she finds the scary villain, but she’s dumb and doesn’t know malicious intent when it’s drawing a sword to her neck.

It gets a tad more interesting after that, thankfully. Instead of falling into ruin and waiting for Agni or a warrior to avenge her poor, breaking body and soul... instead she raged and  _ attacked _ .

It was a dumb way of doing it, of course. But it’s better than I expected. Zuzu’s favorite play is still the one that ends up with dragons appearing and saving everyone for no good reason. I expected more of the same. That tends to be Mother’s favorite type of ending, too.

Why would someone use poison of all things as their method of destroying their enemies? She didn’t even watch as the person died their slow, painful death. It’s dumb that she even chose a poison that would make the process of dying last longer. It makes more sense to have something quick and sudden, so no one can figure out what’s wrong. I mean, really. Having him wither away for an entire week? It makes no sense.

Mother seemed to think something was wrong with the entire thing, too, so at least I wasn’t the only one to see the ridiculousness of the scene.

Mother’s eyebrow was quirked up oddly when the heroine was messing with her poison, and again when she handed off the poisoned tea to a maid and had it delivered to the man’s chambers. I didn’t see anything wrong with that part, specifically, but I have to admit that Mother knows more about how adults respond to gifts. I’ve seen her receiving items from her maids, things that Father or other people have sent. 

She always throws them out. 

I throw mine out if Uncle or one of Father’s stupid advisors sends me something ridiculous. Maybe Mother knows that anything could be poisoned if someone is trying to kill you. Maybe I should learn to do that. Just in case.

Mother also rolls her eyes at one point, yet again when the play is focusing on poison. It’s becoming odd. She still seems to be enjoying the play, but less interested. Or maybe she’s not enjoying the play at all, and just humoring Zuzu like she normally does. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Though, it does seem like there could be something more. 

I turn back to the play. I wonder if Mother will be out of her chambers tonight. I feel like exploring.

…

It ends with the heroine dying in the arms of her beloved family, which is ridiculous. She stopped talking with them ages ago, but somehow they knew enough about her life and plans to know where she would be in her dying moments. It’s a ridiculous and boring ending to a mostly boring play.

Mother is crying.

Zuzu looks like he’s ready to fight some of the actors for making the play end the way it did, which is exactly what I would expect from the dragon-bait. It’s a play. They were following their lines.

I get away from the emotional idiots as fast as I can. I think Father stays behind, for whatever reason, but two of the guards follow me out. As they always do. They’re so annoying and it’s so difficult to figure out waterbending when people are watching my every movement. These are even the decent guards that don’t get distracted gossiping to each other! That means I’m being  _ extra _ watched. I don’t like that.

Maybe if I just…

I run ahead on the path, slipping into the bushes and still running. I can hear the guards following with their loud footsteps and the rustling of leaves as plants get shoved to the side. Most of them have learned to mostly follow me through the palace. Maybe through the underbrush will be more interesting.

If I can lose them then they need to learn. Tracking people is a skill they should have, I’m sure. Even if they’re merely palace guards. Maybe Father will toss them out for losing track of me in such a place.

It’s easy to slip through unnoticed with their noises telling me exactly where to go to best escape. My feet are small enough that I can avoid most of the fallen branches, and I’m light enough to go without disturbing the rocks much. And maybe I have the help of air to lead them in the wrong direction.

I guess this is training for me, just as much as it is for them. Sure, I don’t expect to get chased by possible assassins while I travel alone in the wilderness. I also didn’t expect to be able to bend three of the four elements. Agni has more surprises they want to send me, and I’ll welcome them with a smile.

When I finally see the edge of water I start to slow down. It still sounds a bit farther away, but the air is filled with the thickness that always happens around the sea. It’s a bit harder to move than normal air, but not by too much. I just need to focus a little more as I float down the cliff’s edge. It doesn’t feel like there’s anyone around. Not near the water or at the cliff’s edge.

The air keeps getting heavier the closer I get to the ground, heavy to the point that I try to use my water instead of air to stay afloat. I haven’t managed to practice using the different elements on larger scales, not when there’s so many people around me watching and waiting for anything to happen.

I’m not used to using it to lift myself up. And I’m not used to water that sends me crashing down when I can’t hold my control. I have a brief moment to latch onto the air, staying suspended for a moment before it flows from my grip. I need something solid.

I reach for the dirt next. The rocks on the cliff speeding past look solid, and they’re close enough to just…

I reach, and I grab, and my fingers  _ sink _ into the stone like it’s mud. There’s none of the solid that I was needing.

It’ll take a second longer to hit the ground, max, and if I can’t slow down by that point there’s no reason for me to even try. I don’t fail. I won’t fall. The mud solidifies back into the stone that it should have been, just enough to make my fingers  _ burn _ as skin is scraped away. It’s fine. I’ve had worse. The dirt that I land on is soft, but not the sand that I was expecting. That’s out of reach for a few feet, and I breath out. 

I’ve never heard of sand benders.

While I would love to be the first, my newly discovered earth is enough for now. I can never tell Zuzu. I don’t even want to  _ imagine _ what he’d think if he knew I was a dirt person  _ and  _ a snow savage. It would be terrible. Not even being the Fire Nation princess can save me from those dirty groups.

Now I have another thing to practice. Wonderful.

That stupid Master hasn’t left yet. Maybe I can make him trip up with a rock hitting his leg. Maybe that rock can have the force to break bone.

I can’t do that if Father is around, of course. He’s actually fought Aang before, he might know there’s something strange. 

Aang. Maybe I can get him to show me earthbending stances. Sure, so far everything that he’s done has been unnatural and probably specific to air nomads, but he’s the Avatar. Surely he knows other forms. I can ask him next time. Or I can try traveling to the earth kingdom. 

No.

Nothing that can give me away. I don’t like Aang’s cell.

The guards are still searching for me, I’m sure. The cliff isn’t too steep to climb, and I can try practicing my earth on the way up.

Mother is probably getting reading to leave.

Father is probably ready to go, too.

I start the climb upward, fingers sliding into the formerly hard stone. It’s a little difficult, even with my feet helping to propel me upward from the small platforms that shape themselves under my shoes. I need to train my arms more. I don't particularly like pushups, but the bending forms haven’t strengthened my forearms nearly enough. Nor have the blasts of my flames.

I return to the theater house, waiting outside for my family and guards to find me at the entrance. If the guards return with leaves in their hair, Mother doesn't ask questions and Father doesn’t act as though he cares. Only Zuzu is dumb enough to glance in my direction, but he’s always dumb. 

The trip back to the palace is quiet as usual.

…

Father is once again preparing to host annoying people in the palace. Mother is making sure everything looks perfect and that the servants are in place. Even Uncle returns, though Lu Ten gets to stay away at the battlefield. Lucky.

Zuzu is locked away with his studies, this time, so at least he can’t make an embarrassment of Father and myself. I’m sure he’s taking this time to talk with Aang, which is pathetic, really. I won’t call him out on it, of course. Not this time. But the next time he does something so useless I won’t stay quiet. 

What does he even plan to learn from visiting Aang? I know he still does it. But he’s not an airbender, and it’s not like Aang has time to talk to a dumb child all the time. He’s too busy traveling into the spirit world or watching over me in his ghostly form.

He’s been staying around for longer amounts of time. I still don’t look at him.

At least I can assure that I’m not like Mother. She hallucinates, I just have the ability to see Aang’s spirit when he decides to show up. It’s different.

Sadly, my peace doesn't last for long. Mother decided that her, Zuzu and I absolutely have to go on a walk through the gardens today. Ignoring the fact that we’re too busy to do such a useless thing. I’m not even able to get out of it this time because Mother said that we had to present confidence to the advisors and subjects that pass through the halls. Something about our family having the time to leisure. I believe it’s an excuse that one of her maids told her, but I can’t prove it.

Just like I can’t prove whatever she’s hiding in her bedroom. Whatever it was she was thinking of when the play was going on.

Next time she leaves…

But right now I have to stay here and act as the First Princess that I am. Mother and Zuzu are talking in front of me as I trail after. There’s no reason to stay close, to interact and talk about the inane topics they enjoy.

Nearly everything in the garden is perfect, and all of the gardeners have moved on to other areas of the palace to finish their work. Every stone in place, every leaf beautifully green or perfectly hidden behind other leaves. 

Which just begs the question why there’s an awful, disgusting flower showing itself peaking through the leaves. I thought the caretakers were better than this. It’s not merely pathetic, the yellowing spots seemed diseased. The stupid flower is going to ruin everything around it.

If Father notices any disease in the garden… if someone tells him that the garden was poorly cared for and I knew about it… no. I enter one of the stances, lowering my center of gravity and lining up a shot. All I need is a thin, very thin blast of flames. I know how to burn precise areas. Let’s see how precice I can make it.

There’s the flower, and then the area that disease took root. It’s in the stem, probably. The rest of the plant seems fine for now, so I doubt it’s from the soil or anything too far down. Maybe an insect did something. Either way, it will spread if I don’t burn all of the disease from the plant. I need to see how far down to go…

I take a moment to feel the burning life in the plant. It’s small, smaller than a person’s, but I can track it. Where it starts and where it ends. There’s an empty part, one that runs through the stem toward the base. It’s not in the roots, but it’s nearing the other main branches.

My fire lights up yellow and shoots forward. As it burns the flower, the stem, the leaves of only that section I gather water hidden under the plant. In the cover of leaves it swells to protect the rest of the plant, cooling my fire’s heat. It wouldn’t do to singe the plant, either. That would be more noticeable than the stupid diseased flower.

I can’t mess up that badly. I can’t mess up at all.

“Mommy!” I hear Zuzu shout. That idiot, you can’t just shout when Grandfather has guests. Royalty doesn’t shout. “Mommy, Azula’s burning one of the flowers!” That tattletale! You can’t just tell people! If people know what you’re doing then they have the advantage. I’m not giving  _ anyone  _ my advantage. Ever.

“Azula!” Mother’s voice is sharp, like it when I mess with Zuzu or pester her maids. Ugh. “You will treat the royal gardens with respect!” What do you know. You didn’t even notice something was wrong, not my fault you’re useless. Zuzu didn’t notice either.

I don’t say any of that, of course. Not with advisors around, people watching everything. If anyone decides to come see why Mother was shouting - and I can’t believe she actually spoke that loudly in such a place - they’ll see a clean burn. It looks perfect and pristine. The other branches are already shifting into the space that was burned clear.

“It deserved it. It wasn’t as pretty as the others.” Not with it’s gross yellow spots on the deep red.

Mother ignores me and keeps tending to the stupid bush that’s already fine and safe and whatever else she’s trying to make sure about it. I don’t know why, since it’s perfect. I made it perfect.

Zuzu’s already starting to walk away, probably trying to escape me. I won’t let him. With a quick flick of my wrist I sent a shot of orange at him, burning the seat of his pants. 

“Ouch!”

I don’t wait for him to say anything else before I run down the path. Mother will just scold me again. Boring.

“That child,” I hear her say, faintly. Disappointment fills her voice. She’s so boring.

…

Mother should be busy with guests for the next few hours at least. Even if she can’t handle it, she won’t be able to leave. It’s the perfect time to go exploring for whatever it was that I saw in her face.

I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I’m sad to admit that I never thought to check Mother’s rooms before. She was always just so boring. Unassuming. Weak. I won’t make that mistake in the future. Not if she can have an expression that shows she  _ knows _ something. Especially not because it’s something that I don’t know. 

Not yet.

One of Mother’s maids sees that I go inside. It’s not like I’m trying to hide, and it’s not liek the maid will tell Mother anything. If she acts on any suspicions, well. Then something interesting might happen, and Interesting is always nice. Until that point I’ll just make my own interesting. Like normal. 

Mother’s rooms have always been empty. Other than her jewelry, finery, and a few mirrors, Mother doesn’t have items that are meant for her. Sure, Zuzu and I have very few. A worn doll or a ball to play with, but Mother only has useful items. Ones that give nothing away, they’re too plain.

I hadn’t noticed it before. Clever.

I brush around her nearly empty drawers, searching for anything that could be interesting. Something unexpected. Next is her wardrobe, and then under the bed. There’s nothing that I haven’t seen before.

I check the paintings next.

If Zuzu managed to figure out the secret passageways, Mother probably has as well. Mother might have even shown him, since I doubt he decided to explore on his own. That still doesn't sound like him.

I don’t burn through them this time, at least not to start with. That would leave too much evidence. Even if I’m not necessarily trying to hide, burning through a painting would leave Mother questioning what I was doing in here. The maid wouldn’t even need to tell her.

Besides, Mother isn’t a bender.

There are three paintings in the room, with two of them hanging near her bed. The third is closer to the door leaving Mother’s chambers. I would hate hiding something so close to other people, but I would hate not knowing when someone enters my room even more.

I check the third painting.

It’s easily movable, shifting with barely a touch. I don’t take it off it’s hook. This isn’t the normal type of hidden passageway painting if there's even anything hidden in it. It’s less secure, in a way. Even if the normal ones can only block out weaklings and non-benders.

There’s nothing behind.

Annoying.

I know she’s hiding something. It has to be here somewhere. It’s so annoying when things don’t work.

I should go see Aang.

Maybe he can show me how to do that ghost thing.

It might be useful.

Mother’s too good at hiding things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts while writing this chapter -  
> It's really difficult getting Azula to respect people. Like, really hard.
> 
> Azula takes in a lot of information, sure, but she doesn't really understand what's going on with most people. Like, she knows about them as people, and she can tell what they're thinking. But she doesn't really know. And that's really freaking weird to write.
> 
> How will Azula figure out what's going on with Ursa? Who knows! She was supposed to find a clue in this chapter but it didn't want to happen. So I'll figure out how to work it in later. Really, Azula's messing with my plans.
> 
> Let me know what you guys are thinking! 
> 
> Next chapter - Azula goes to school!


	11. Shifting Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the Royal Academy for Girls! Which means Ty Lee! And an entirely different mood for writing!

Father says that I have to go to the royal Fire Academy for Girls. Well. I was told that he said that before I was shipped off to the stupid school to interact with dumb kids that can’t tell a fire ferret from a turtle duck.

Mother says that it’ll be a good experience. That I can meet other girls my age. Something like that. Zuzu looks far too relieved that I’m leaving. I’ll have to make him regret it once I get back. Someone needs to keep him on his toes, though, so I convince one of my usual guards to continue making noises during the night, even while I’m gone.

I don’t necessarily have a way to check that she’s doing it, but the look in her eye suggests that she’s properly motivated.

And so I’m carted off against my will, bags packed and maids in line to follow. I bet there won’t even be practice rooms for me to bend in. At least I’ll never have to deal with that stupid Master again. I can’t believe he hasn’t left yet. Zuzu can have him now. Zuzu probably needs to keep drilling the basics.

He needs to do a lot of things if he ever wants to stay as a prince. I can’t help him all the time.

The academy’s entrance looks fine enough. Well taken care of, at least, but they could have put a bit more work into how the place looks. The bricks are clean, the grass is green, and the flowers are vibrant. But it’s just so boring. And old. None of the majestic construction that I would have expected of a renowned academy for nobel birth.

Truly, the most impressive thing was the steps leading up to it. Some of my maids seem tired from the walk. It’s pathetic, really, that I have such weak staff. My guards seem fine, but that’s to be expected. I would have removed them if they were feeble enough to tire from steps. It was only a day of travel. The people carrying my norimono are doing perfectly fine, so no one else should be complaining either.

I almost want to look over the cliff at the water crashing onto sand below, but that could be suspicious. Why would a Fire Nation princess care about water? It’s dumb and useless, if you aren’t able to use it as a weapon. Sure, Zuzu and Lu Ten like to play in it for reasons unknown to anyone but them, but they aren’t  _ me _ . And they like pathetic things. It’s unbefitting, Father said so.

I’ll have to find a time and place where I can slip down to the water and practice. Air should be easy enough to keep up with, and no one can stop my flames from burning lighter. I’ve almost reached white - it’s finally the same color as Uncle’s.

I need to make it hotter.

Earth will be hard as well, but I can at least move small amounts and brush it off as random shifting or people’s inability to take note of their surroundings. Truly, it’s stunning that so many of these people survived for so long. Assassins could take them out easily. They don’t even watch for shadows, and that’s the simplest part.

It’s a good thing they don’t matter to the world. No one cares if they die, and no one cares enough to kill them. How cute.

I pass a group of loud girls on my way to my dorm. They’re all smiling annoyingly bright, wearing pink and their hair in stupid styles. Ugh. I’ve seen kids like that during festivals and parties that occurred in the palace. They were some of the more annoying types, but at least they didn’t underestimate me. Most of the adults assumed I was an idiot. The children at least understood they were inferior. 

I leave my maids to organize my stuff in the small room. Truly, why would they give this room to The Princess of the Fire Nation? It’s so quaint. The bed takes up nearly a fifth of the room, and the windows are just barely taller than my guards. There’s too many people in there, it’s stuff. A room shouldn’t be filled with only a handful of maids and a couple guards.

Well, whatever. Hopefully the classrooms will be better. Or the practice rooms. Speaking of, I’ve been sitting all day. It might be good to practice my forms.

Dinner is practically bland with far too many people around. There are students wanting to talk with me and it’s all terribly boring. My guards did a good job pushing them away, so I didn’t have to deal with them for long. There was a lot of annoying pointing and whispering. These children haven’t learned how to gossip properly. At the very least the adults in the palace were subtle about their comments. 

Hasn’t anyone ever told these girls that royalty is  _ dangerous _ ? 

Maybe Zuzu could have fit in as a noble child. They seem weak enough that he just might be normal. Mother wouldn't, but there’s no place that she could.

I still haven’t found whatever she’s hiding. Well, I should be back home in a few weeks. Mother can’t hide it forever.

My guards made sure the table around me was kept clear as I sat and the servants brought over my food. They kept it solitary even as the nobles shifted their weak bodies closer and closer, trying to join me. There were a couple with sharp eyes, ones who must think they’re above everyone else in the school. Probably ones who arrived early, who formed a group for security. Weak ones that needed a group to feel big.

I smile, lips closed. 

None of them are worth a fight, but they just might be fun to play with. With my, ah, favorite guards left to mess with Zuzu in the palace, I’ll have to find someone to fill the void. There’s no reason to be bored while I’m at school, after all. Mother did want to me make friends. This should be good enough.

Friends are just people you play with. And that’s what I plan to do.

…

The school is large, but the halls are easier to navigate than the palace. I can find my way to Aang’s cell, I can find my way to the classroom. Unsurprisingly, it seems like the other students are painfully dumb. There’s only one person in the classroom when I enter, and she’s kneeling before a desk in the back, reading some book.

Even the teacher isn’t here yet. I would have thought they would arrive before the class on the first day, especially since I’m here. I guess not, but that won’t be a problem. They can come when the other students get here. I won’t mind.

I sit at the teacher’s cushion, patiently waiting for them to arrive. Aang’s lessons in meditation are finally paying off. I can feel as the other students are trickling in, only barely pausing to mentally question what I’m doing in the teacher’s space. They move on quickly enough. The girls that started the day before aren’t in my class, sadly enough. I won’t be able to play with them today.

I can feel some of them twitch, probably wanting to call me out. They clearly don’t understand anything. The first two were stopped by whoever they were standing next to, probably their friend. The third one had more restraint. Boring. 

There’s a giggle that I heard when moving in, so one of the annoying girls. Maybe two of them, since they walked in together, though the second one doesn’t feel giggly. Maybe she won’t be as bad.

The teacher takes far too long to appear, but when he does I can’t say I’m disappointed. Right once a large body enters the doorway I open my eyes, turning to stare at him. I don’t stand. 

He fumbles with his books for a moment before calming himself. 

“Princess Azula,” he says, bowing low. His books are held close to his chest to prevent them from dropping, and his left hand is tucked behind his back. Good. 

I lean against his desk. 

“And you are?”

He doesn't lift from his bow. “This one is Hui Bei. I will be teaching your first period class. Is there a way I can assist you, Princess?”

Hui Bei, huh? Fitting. 

“No, I don’t believe there is.” I don’t hate him. “I don’t suppose you plan to be late in the future.”

“Of course not, Princess.”

“Good. See to it that you aren’t.” I rise and allow him to take his place at the front of the class. The students are watching me and I reign in my smirk. These silly noble children. They truly haven’t seen power, the inherent greatness that follows in the path of royalty.

A few of the students bow their heads as I walk past, one even places her hands on her desk and shifts her entire body forward in a bow. It’s acceptable. The students who don’t bow might be a problem, but I’m sure I can train them soon enough.

Class passes by quickly enough. There are only a few lies in the history, and some misunderstandings for how the government is run, but the textbooks aren’t meant for royalty, so I let it pass. There is probably a reason for the books to make our Nation’s history look easier than it was.

I was right about one thing. Children of lower birth learn that Avatar Roku was loyal to Fire Lord Sozin his entire life. It’s always fun what lies people will believe. And all of these idiots seem just easy enough to believe anything that’s in a book.

My guards are still standing silently in the back of the class when it’s time to get lunch. I almost tell them to leave - they’re so annoying just standing there, and they aren’t guards that Father has assigned to me before. However, there is too much reason to keep them here. The annoying kids start to swarm me just as the class is dismissed.

A glare from one of the guards put a stop to that, and the girls hung back a desk away from me. I grin, stretching my arms above my head.

“I hope the rest of school will be more interesting than that,” I say, smiling at one of the girls. She nods her head furiously, eyes bright and eager. She didn’t take a single note the entire class, quite a problem for someone as dumb as she is.

I wonder how many people I can get to drop out. It could be a nice passtime. 

“You,” I point at one of the girls, one who was a little farther away than the others but still interested in what was happening. “Go get me something to eat, will you?” Her eyes fly wide open and she scrambles away. Good. Maybe it won’t be much different than training the maids for Mother.

None of these girls look particularly interesting, though. Desperate, sure. Dumb, absolutely. Not worth a conversation, though. 

I allow the first girl, the one that doesn’t take notes, to come closer and sit while she eats. The others leave for the dining room. She rambles too much, as I discover quickly enough. It’s exhausting.

“Wow, you’re really amazing, you know that? I mean, everyone just listens to you! I want to learn how to do that. People normally ignore me after a little bit, but everyone watches you! All the time! Did you see how even that gloomy girl was watching? Ugh, maybe it isn’t so great. You know, I saw this one guy one time, and he -”

My mind is going to explode from boredom, and I won’t even be upset. I need her to  _ shut up _ already.

“Stop.” I command, picking at the food that the other girl brought me. 

She does.

I stare at her for a moment. Her pupils start to shrink, and I can just barely start to see the sweat forming at her forehead. Ah, she knows that she’s annoying and just kept talking. Maybe she’s a little less dumb than I thought. 

“I’m so sorry, I-”

“Ah, nope. I think that's enough.” I glance at one of the guards, and he starts walking forward. She’s gone before he reaches three steps. I rest my cheek against my palm. If this is what nobles are like, I don’t see any reason to attend this academy.

…

Ty Lin wants to talk with the Princess, even though she’s really scary. She’s sitting by herself and her guards are just standing there creepily, it’s kinda gross. I don’t know. I don’t want to try talking with her, especially if she’s really mean. 

I mean, she was so rude to that one girl! And the girl seemed perfectly nice!

I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t know how to talk with people? I've seen people like that, like. They didn’t have siblings or anything, so they just didn’t learn how to talk with others. It’s really weird, but I think I get it. I have way too many siblings that it’s hard to talk sometimes. 

A-Lin tried going up and saying hi during lunch, but like I thought, the guards scared her away along with the others. At least she wasn’t told to get the Princess’s lunch. A-Lin would probably cry if she was told to. 

Instead we’re able to go to lunch together and eat with the others. The entire table is full by the time I sit down. Six talkative siblings, of course they’re going to make friends easily. There’s a few other girls hanging around A-Lat, even though they can’t sit. One of them just leans against her, already completely comfortable. A-Lat always was good at that.

When the servants bring out our food, I take mine and leave. It took at most four minutes and already people called me Ty Liu, Ty Lum, and even Ty Woo. She acts nothing like me! Or, well, I act nothing like her? We’re nothing alike!

There’s probably an area outside that I can eat. 

The gardens are nicely green with flowers and trees growing in the courtyard. I swing up to the lower branch of one of them, making sure my food doesn’t spill. It’s not very hard after so much practice. 

Climbing trees always was calming, even when I was still at home and allowed outside to run free. It would have been nice when mom insisted I stay inside and act like a proper girl. A lot of things would have been nice…

I shake my head. Nope! Not today! I have A-Lin in my class, and we haven’t gotten in trouble yet! And there’s no one making me style my hair or wear dresses or stand up straight or telling me to get out of trees. It’s a good day!

I bounce out of the tree as people start walking to class. Yay! Class! It’ll be fun and I can make friends and learn about fun things! I grin, looking up at the beautiful buildings. They’re shining with gold, glimmering in the sunlight. The bright blue sky with pretty fluffy clouds are so, so nice! Even the grass is a pretty green.

There’s so many colors absolutely everywhere, everything’s different! 

A-Lin! She’s walking to class!

I run up behind her, jumping onto her back. “A-Lin!” She swings me around, giggling. 

“A-Lee! There you are! Why’d you disappear like that, what if I got lost?” I latch onto her arm, leaning into her side. She does the same thing, her hair falling a little into my face.

“Haha! You wouldn’t get lost, silly! Now come on, it’s time for class!” I start pulling her, already laughing as she starts to trip. 

“A-Lee! Slow down!”

We make it back before most of the other students, which means there’s enough time to draw on A-Lin’s hand with my brush and make a cute bunny doodle, A-Lin keeps staring at the Princess, so I make sure to tickle her every so often. I get a bad feeling from the Princess. She’s scary, and A-Lin really doesn't need that. 

The teacher comes in to teach anatomy, and she bows to the Princess, just like all the other teachers have done. I don't like it. Teachers aren’t supposed to bow to anyone, that messes things up! Somehow. I don't know, but teachers never do that so there must be a reason!

Well, I’ve never been to the palace. Maybe that’s just how teachers act there? I mean, I know that the Princess is, you know, a princess! But Teacher is a teacher! And that’s important too! Mom told me, she said that I have to listen to my teachers no matter what. 

I don’t think the Princess listens. I don’t know if that’s good. 

I kinda want to not listen, too. Teachers aren’t always fun. 

But this teacher is! She’s teaching anatomy! And I like anatomy! It lets me know how I can bend and move, and it’s really fun to play with! A-Lin even lets me mess around with her, trying to figure out how her body fits together. Even though she’s ticklish, and sometimes she kicks at me accidentally. 

But that’s okay, because we always start a tickle fight, and I like those. As long as we don’t get in trouble.

Teacher asks for a demonstrator, and she picks me!! I mean, sure, I was the only one waving my hand around, but I still got picked! A-Lin grins at me from her desk. She’s sooo pretty when she smiles, I love school already!

Teacher pokes around at my arm for a few moments and all of a sudden it just. Stops. I can’t move my arm around right and I can’t even feel it.

“A-Lin! Look at this!” I wiggle it around and she laughs. A few other girls laugh too and I grin at them.

Princess is staring at me, too, but I’m trying not to look at her. 

A-Lin waves her arm around to get picked next, and Teacher calls her up. She pokes my arm a couple times again and I can move it right!

“Alright, Ty Lin, do you want to try this on your sister?” Teacher asks me. I don’t bother to correct her.

“Can I?” I ask A-Lin, just to make sure. 

“Yeah!” She sticks her arm out and Teacher starts making markings on it. A few other students stand up to look at what’s happening.

“You can come up,” Teacher says, waving her hand to bring the others over. Princess stays in the back. I can’t tell if A-Lin is getting uncomfortable with all the people, but she’s still smiling so I guess it’s fine. There's a few too many people for me, but I can't just leave A-Lin here on her own, so I don’t. 

“Alright,” Teacher says, taking the brush away from A-Lin’s skin. “Here are the pressure points. You won’t be able to get them in the first try, but go ahead and press on them to see what happens. Ty Lin only, please, since she got permission.” Teacher smiles at me. Turns out she’s pretty too, even if she’s a little frazzled. And she’s nowhere near as pretty as my siblings! No one is! 

I smile back at her.

There’s a spot of ink near A-Lin’s wrist, so I poke at it first. She giggles a little, so I guess it tickles. 

“Try putting a little more pressure,” Teacher suggests, and I do.

“Mmm, my fingers feel weird. Kinda tingly?” 

“That’s good, it means Ty Lin is getting close to the right point. How about you put even more pressure? And try and make it really quick.” I send a short, one fingered jab at A-Lin’s wrist and she giggles again.

“Stop it, it feels weird,” she says, still giggling. Her fingers are shifting around, kind of wriggly. Like worms! But worms with structure, cause she still has bones in there and they can’t just turn squishy like worms are. It would be weird if her fingers became worms… would they still be connected to her? I bet they’d crawl away. Crawl? Do worms crawl? 

If worms had legs like babies it’d look really, really weird. And babies shouldn’t be in class! That’s for big kids!

A-Lin isn’t a baby, so her fingers shouldn’t be baby worms either. 

“Alright everyone, I think that’s enough for now. I’ll show you how to do this properly, but it might be a while before anyone is able to. Now, let’s all settle down.” Everyone went to their seats, and Teacher poked A-Lin’s wrist twice before her fingers were able to move properly again instead of being wiggly worms.

Haha, worms…

Teacher distributes some scrolls to each student, each with a drawing of a person with circles and dots all over them. 

“Alright, let’s get started!”

The rest of Anatomy is really, really awesome, and Teacher is so much nicer than I ever expected from anyone.

It’s a little sad when she leaves for the day, going into someone else’s classroom, but I’ll see her tomorrow! And we have music class coming up soon, and A-Lin likes music, so everything is fine.

I get drums to play while A-Lin is allowed to play the flute. It isn’t her dizi, but it’s close enough that she’s fine with it. At least for this class. I’m pretty sure she’ll be asking the music teacher if she can bring in her own for future classes.

By the time class lets out for the day I’ve lost all ability to sit still. I mean, sure, some of the classes are fun but I can’t just  _ sit _ all day! I can’t! What about the trees and the running around and the swimming? Oooh I wanna go swimming! The beach looked really fun when we were moving in! Even if it’s a bit cold I really really want to gooooo!

The classroom gets extra loud after the teacher leaves, and a ton of the other kids group up together and start chatting. There’s still a few trying to talk with the Princess, but more people are coming up to A-Lin and I to gush over A-Lin’s playing and ask so, so many questions about us and it’s a little uncomfortable.

And then my siblings are here! And they’re wonderful and smiling and they take up everything and all the strangers disappear so easily. A-Lat and A-Liu talk all about their new friends, and even A-Woo has something good to say, and they’re all been doing wonderfully in school.

So what if people called me A-Liu and A-Lao and A-Lin’s names.

I have my wonderful siblings and the world is full of colors, and I can go swimming and run around and  _ be _ and it’s beautiful.

…

I was wrong. 

It’s too much.

I mean, sure, it was fine for a while, and I don’t care if people can’t always tell us apart. Not even Mother could. So it isn’t really  _ that _ weird that people never remember who I am. It would be fine. 

But no one else gets called Ty Lee.

I don’t get called Ty Lee.

So maybe I started going outside every lunch time, and maybe I stopped trying to talk as much in any class that wasn’t anatomy and maybe when I went to swim I didn’t invite anyone else to join me. And maybe I swam at night when it’s not always safe, but I need it.

The water feels really nice and cool and wonderful, and I can watch the stars shining above me. The sand holds its heat from the day if I get out here early enough, and it keeps me nice and warm.

I built a castle, with big gates and a river flowing through it, even though the river dries if I don’t keep dumping water in it. There’s a flag at the top with really pretty leaf patterns, and I even found seashells to decorate the walls! They can open up so that kids in the tiny castle are able to play on them, but only if it’s open. If they’re closed then it’s dangerous, and their moms yell at them to get down. 

The Princess is there, too, in the castle. She likes to sit in the courtyard with her guards, making sure no one else is around her.

Each day in class she has a different person sit with her during lunch or get her food. I haven't been picked yet, nor has A-Lin. A-Lin is really, really excited to get picked, but I don’t want her to. I don’t. A-Lin shouldn’t have to sit with a person that doesn't actually like her, that’s not fun. 

And I’m pretty sure the Princess doesn't like anyone that she’s sat with, especially since she doesn't sit with them again after that.

I’m moving the stone people around the castle when I hear someone coming up behind me. They’re really quiet, though. They move like my siblings, so I turn around and smile.

“What are you guys do-” It isn’t one of my siblings. 

“So. This is what you do, huh? Come and play in the dirt? I don’t know why, but I always thought there would be… more.” The Princess is looking down at my sandy clothes and scratched hands and I can feel my body going cold. It’s like when mom sees that I was playing in the mud, she’s so angry but there’s something else.

The Princess has that something else.

“Ah, um, hello, Princess! I was, uh-”

“Yes, you were. Well, carry on. I’m going to have a swim.” She turns to walk away, entirely different from what I expected. 

I don't know what I expected.

Her to step all over my castle? To insult my appearance more? To say a name that wasn’t mine? Well, I still expect her to do that. MAybe A-Lin, since the Princess is in class with us. She might know A-Lin’s name. 

I go back to my sandcastle, but I don’t know how to focus on it anymore. I should find shells instead. That’s… that’s easier. And I can focus on the Princess and make sure she doesn’t drown. Princesses know how to swim, right? They have to, someone probably taught her. I mean, she’s good at soooo many things, she has to be good at swimming, too!

There are some really pretty blue shells that glimmer in the moonlight, and there’s some flecks of red and pink in the smooth white shells.

The Princess has been swimming for a while now… I keep glancing over to the water, watching as her head bobs up and down in the water. Every so often her hair catches the moonlight and glitters just my shells do.

I can’t think she’s pretty. I don’t think she is, but maybe she is? 

She starts walking out of the water, and it seems to just slip off of her. A warm wind blows past and her hair seems to dance in it, even though it’s wet. She walks over to where I’m standing and looks at the shells in my hands. 

“Hm, they look nice. Good job.”

She might be pretty.

“You should swim with me. You look like you could keep up.”

She might be really pretty.

“Okay!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Uh. I wrote almost this entire thing today. And I have a lot of school work that I've ignored (two essays and hundreds of pages of reading) to get this out. So um. I hope you enjoyed it? It's not edited because a) my beta is more busy than I am and b) like I said, I literally just finished writing.
> 
> Were you able to spot Mei? 
> 
> Also, the first teacher we met is named Hui Bei using 慧卑 if you were curious. 
> 
> Writing Ty Lee's section was really fun, even if there was a complete shift in tone. I did want to get a bit further in their friendship development than I have, but that didn't want to happen. so next time you have something to look forward to!
> 
> Drop a comment about what you think! I need some positive reinforcement y'all :D


	12. Outings

It’s annoying when someone else’s words ring in my head, rare as it is. Aang must be a bad influence if I’m even thinking about this.

‘Everyone is a potential friend’ is such a dumb phrase. It’s even more dumb that for some reason I’m listening to him and actually trying to make friends with these dumb classmates. Well. One of them. The kid that was on the beach. She stood out, just a bit. Very talkative, annoyingly so. Like Zuzu. Or Aang on his good days.

I wave her over to join me during lunch, ignoring the dumb kids that try to crowd around before my guards show them what happens when they get too close. Really, they never learn. Some of the girls that I let sit with me before keep trying to join, and so does Ty Lee’s sister, whatever her name is. There’s too many of them.

Her sister sends an angry glare before leaving for the lunchroom or wherever she decides to go. I might have my guards keep an eye on her, just in case. She probably won’t do anything, not to me or Ty Lee, but dealing with assassinations from small children won’t be as fun as from full grown adults that know how to fight and take me down. There’s no reason to play with her.

When Aang was talking about friends he was talking about people to play with, but that wasn’t the only thing friends can be used for. People to watch your back, people to help you pull off plans. I heard about his Monk Gyatso, I know about their pranks. The flying lemurs let loose during morning meditation, the pies in other Monks’ faces, bombing the dining hall with shining green moss that colored the walls for weeks.

If I have a ‘friend’ I have an accomplice. One that seems physically capable and can become good at fighting, if given the right training. I’ve seen her climb the tree, and on the beach she was doing enough cartwheels and jumps to prove there’s potential.

Now I just need to find her a worthy master, or at least one that can start her training until she learns to destroy them. Either way works for me, as long as she’s capable.

She might be good with daggers. She’s probably fast enough, able to do close combat. Distance wouldn’t be ideal, probably. And she isn't necessarily good with focus - she laughs too much at everything. Distracted. 

“Princeeess,” Ty Lee whines. Case in point. Distracted. She should be focusing on. Well. Something. I should find something to catch her focus.

“Yes?” 

‘What are you thinking about?” 

“I need to find a training partner, someone that can keep up with my movements. It’s so disappointing that no one knows how to _move_ anymore. Have you seen how soldiers train? They stay still, so easy to knock around with just a brush of fire blowing past them.”

“Fire? Moving? Do you jump when fighting? I haven't seen that!” Of course I don’t do anything as silly as jumping. Lunges, sure. Flying kicks of course.

“You may join me tonight for practice.” That was enough to shock her into silence for the few precious seconds before she burst into excited chatter. I was wrong, she talks more than Zuzu and Aang combined. She better show excessive potential if she wants to stick around.

…

All of Ty Lee’s sisters come pouring into the classroom at the end of the day, Ty Lee hanging back from the group just enough to be noticeable. Good, she is joining me anyway. There's no reason to stay chatting with her frivolous sisters.

“Ty Lee,” I say, turning to walk out the door.

“Coming!” She shouts back, running toward me and away from the swarm of siblings.

She bubbles around me as I walk, completely different from the silent shadows that always follow. Anywhere I turn my head there’s a glimpse of her. Her braid of hair, a hand, her smile, something. I’ll figure out how to make her _not_ in the future. If I keep her around long enough for that to become necessary. 

I do hope I haven’t been wasting my time.

I choose the indoor training area for today. It’s nice outside, so there are a few students and teachers outside. I don’t care to have people watching before it’s time. I can’t have people notice my newest playmate before she’s ready.

The walls are lit with torches burning and a cauldron shines at the entrance. My eyes barely need a moment to adjust to the lack of sunlight, already used to dark interspersed with flares of bright light. I’m still not at white yet, but my yellow is blinding.

I direct the newer guard to catch Ty Lee. I doubt she has any fighting ability yet, but her movements look good. Like they can be trained and strengthened. She kicks up dirt while she moves, already able to jump over my guard and propel herself off his back when necessary. She runs circles around him, even if he isn’t trying too hard.

He isn’t using fire yet, after all. That can come later.

Her movements seem familiar. The way that she lands or ducks under his hands as they grapple for her.

I sit on the chair my other guard set up, resting my hand under my chin. I was right about her. This could work. My very own elite guard, trained by my own hand.

I already have a second person in mind. She’s trained in the same area as me before, the girl in the back of my class who sits silently and ignores everyone. She’s perfect, won’t be annoying like Ty Lee and already is starting her skills with throwing knives. I can’t say she’s good, not even close, but she is focused. And focus can go a long way.

It just so happens that this is one of the days she normally trains, and she always goes where there are less people.

She walks in, hair already pulled up in twin buns and out of her face. There’s a small bag of knives in her hand. Not the most effective method of carrying, but it works well enough for practice. I have a specialized guard trained in knives who can teach her, if she proves loyal.

“Ty Lee,” I say, drawing her attention. My guard holds back his attack when her attention shifts, his leg already inches from her head. That needs work. It’s good she responds so quickly, but she should have disarmed the guard first. I’m not training her so she can die the first time she faces an actual opponent. “You’ve done well.”

She grins, face splitting with joy. 

“Thank you, Princess!”

“You may take a break, but watch closely. You,” I point at one of the guards. The one that Ty Lee did not practice with. “Do try to keep up.” I don’t need a sparring partner to hold back, not during practice.

Mai stays focused on her own practice instead of watching me, but Ty Lee keeps her eyes following my movements. Every so often there’s a jump or a kick that has her twitching. The drive to try it herself is enough to physically move her body, and her shining eyes hold a gleam of determination. 

Mai’s weapons hit the targets. Not perfectly, and her stilettos are more accurate than her knives, but it’s passable. She seems more advanced than some of the soldiers training in long range weaponry, so it should be good enough as a starting point. 

Ty Lee’s eyes keep tracking me, not paying any attention to Mai’s practice or the guard I’m fighting. She needs to expand her situational attention. That one-directional focus might become problematic in the future.

Mai doesn’t pay attention, other than brief, quick glances that she’s been throwing me throughout our classes that shift away as quickly as they came.

Father has talked about Ukano before, about the annoying man who does anything and everything that Father asks. Ukano, who has tried talking with me during festivals and parties when he has been invited to the palace. Ukano, who has talked about his young daughter that was just my age and would be a perfect companion to me, the daughter he has been training in knives and stilettos. 

His ever loyal daughter, the one he plans to pass all his riches to, the one that would be loyal to the throne no matter what. The one that stays quiet and obeys his every whim. She might be nice to have around, once she forgets about Ukano’s influence. 

When Mai glances at me there is just enough duty burning in her eyes to suggest Ukano has passed his annoying determination onto his daughter, and that she will approach soon enough. I just need to give her the opportunity to do so. If she can’t after this point, then there is no reason for her to join my elite guard.

…

It seems I am to be disappointed, because the girl still hasn’t tried to say a word to me yet. 

It’s been a week since the first opening, and yet Mai is staying as the only girl in our class that hasn’t attempted to talk with me before or after class hours, nor has she come near my desk during lunch. She doesn’t leave the classroom like other students do, which gives her more than enough time to try.

And yet.

Ty Lee keeps talking about our anatomy teacher, sharing all the information she learned in their extended after-class conversations. Something about chi blocking, which I can sadly say I understand the basic principles of. Despite it being useless information.

I have been in this academy, in this classroom, for far too long without any proper stimulation outside of training. And training for the few hours I can manage without my guards trying to coax me to rest is far too few. Other than the times I have snuck out to visit the beach or the forest there has been nothing interesting in life.

I’m starting to get bored.

“How many sisters do you have, Ty Lee?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Why do you ask?” Ah, yes. The only time Ty Lee will get guarded is regarding her sisters. Even though they have stopped hanging around her when I appear after the first three times they tried to join our conversations. She still holds more loyalty toward them than toward me.

“The teachers here… they’re too compliant.” The students as well. Ty Lee’s sisters can act as carriers, taking items to each of the classrooms around the academy. Fire starters would be easy. Simple to give without notice, but just as simple to put out. It would be a good test. “Ty Lee, do you know how easy it is to start a spark?” 

It turns out that she does, indeed. The next day there are small fires starting around the school, spread out among the different classrooms with the Ty sisters and slowly spreading to other clossby classes. Of course, seeing as the teachers are almost all benders, the fires are controlled to small areas to burn out.

Her sisters did not get in trouble, not this time. But they also didn’t know what would be happening after Ty Lee snuck the power into their bags. They didn’t know that any added pressure, such as setting the bag down with too much force, would cause the miniature explosion that quickly caught on the cushions or cloths of our desk areas. 

Her sisters seem to notice, or at least a few of them do. Ty Lee acts withdrawn after that, but not enough to prevent our lunch meetings or the training sessions. Only enough that she stays silent for a few days before returning to normal. Her sisters stop visiting the class, though the one that sat next to her only moves over a seat.

A good start, but nowhere near enough to satisfy my boredom. Nor is it enough to draw Mai out, though I did catch the smile that she displayed during our planning.

There’s a rumor in the school. One that has passed down through the different class years. About a child who would appear suddenly in different classrooms around the school. No warning given before they appeared, and no changing age as the years went by. One of the girls near the back of the class, near where Mai is sitting, was talking about it during maths instead of paying attention. 

It didn’t take much effort to learn the rest of the story.

It didn’t take much time to create a plan with Ty Lee.

It definitely didn’t take any thought to use my bending to make it happen.

And, based on Mai’s wandering eyes and silent amusement, it took nothing to make her interested.

If Mai and Ty Lee were the only two in class that remained undisturbed as the windows shuttered and wind blew through a sealed room, or if the teacher’s water glass tipped off his desk onto his papers, or if people would trip randomly over seemingly nothing?

Well. Who could say they had anything to do with a ghost in the room.

…

Mai joins us most days for lunch, ever since she and I shared a smile while the class became paranoid over the spirit haunting their lives.

Ty Lee and I hold up the conversation, as expected, though Mai is willing to interject her own opinions from time to time. She rarely mentions her parents, which is refreshing. Ty Lee used to talk about her siblings constantly, and the annoying kids in class keep bringing up their family connections. Even though they aren’t even that great.

Instead Ty Lee and I plan to sneak out of the academy to get rice candy while Mai reminds us of the useless rules that the Academy keeps.

“Come on, come on!” Ty Lee shouts, already pulling at Mai’s hand. “It’ll be easy! We’ll be back before anyone notices, and we won’t even get in trouble if we get caught! They won’t do _anything_ to Princess Azula!”

“We aren’t permitted to leave campus grounds,” Mai says, her tone dry. Probably something her mother had her repeat over and over before joining. She was pulling back with just enough force to slow down Ty Lee’s frantic movements. She casts a glance at my guards, still silently following us through the halls. Of course they won’t report anything to the school. 

“Well, we’re doing it anyway.” Mai tries to level me with her dead eye stare, the one she loves to give annoying girls that try to talk with her, that have tried talking with her since she joined me for lunch.

She should put more fire behind it. Death isn’t nearly as scary as she assumes it is.

She concedes with a sigh, no longer attempting her pitiful resistance. It only makes Ty Lee even more annoyingly excited. She squeals in excitement before nearly pulling Mai off her feet as she runs the rest of the way down the hall. Her footsteps are light, but Mai’s aren’t. Not yet. 

I didn’t quite expect Ty Lee’s preferred exit would be the second floor window, but I can’t complain. She makes the jump easily enough, and Mai follows with some apprehension. I soften the ground as I land, letting it absorb some of the shock. The jolt in my knees tells me it wasn’t entirely effective, but Ty Lee’s shining eyes don’t notice anything amiss. Mai keeps glancing around for anyone that might notice us, which is annoying. 

If we do get caught, she’ll take the fall. 

“Running is not allowed,” Mai starts before cutting herself off. We aren’t even in the academy anymore, her stupid rules don’t matter. Not that Ty Lee ever listened to what Mai or rules said. Not that I blame her. Even going to the beach is not permitted without a teacher to supervise, and they’re useless. I didn’t come to the academy to be coddled. 

Ty Lee leads the way through the forest paths and onto the main road. It’s only a short walk to the town and, with class currently in session, there are no teachers traveling past us. We can just listen to the wind, the birds, and Ty Lee’s endless talking. I really should have come on my own.

Even Aang’s constant chatter is preferable to this. At least he has things to tell me. Like what airbenders did to practice, though he calls it games. Or avatar history that isn’t told in the Palace libraries, at least true to what he was taught before leaving the air nomads. Sure, sometimes he spouts about friendship and the benefits of being nice to others, but I can tune him out for that. Unless it’s something more interesting, like his friendship with the current King of Omashu.

That might come in handy.

A crazy king, who has been crazy all his life, and yet is still respected? How strong is he? How can he bend everyone to his will, even when they can’t take him seriously? I have to know.

Chaos. Chaos is the answer. The complete lack of method to his madness, the ability to throw everyone else off their game in the face of his actions. Being unpredictable makes you all but invincible, and if that’s what it takes to rule, I’m willing to do it. I just need my group to fulfill my orders, my elite guard, and then we can take over. 

Not the academy, of course. That isn’t worth it, with the lowborn nobles and boring teachers. No, the nation is more important. Grandfather’s throne. Omashu might be nice, too. Show the crazy king his challenge, make sure he can’t do anything to me. That he can’t predict me.

In a few years, I’ll invade his city. I doubt Uncle will be able to pass the gate of Omashu before I rise to power, though I can allow him to attempt at Ba Sing Se. The Earth King sounds weak from what Father has said.

Aang hasn’t told me anything about the people of Ba Sing Se, so he probably doesn’t know them. At least not anyone there who’s alive. 

Maybe Mai can help with that. She does come from a family of diplomats. Father doesn’t care to talk with dirt people, but her father might behave differently. He’d need all the leverage he can get.

I direct my thoughts back to the two in front of me as we draw closer to the village. Ty Lee is still showing off her acrobatics, cartwheeling and walking on her hands just ahead of me. Most of her folly is directed at Mai, though, so I don’t have to do more than smile. I should have Ty Lee mess with Mai soon. The girl is getting too comfortable with Ty Lee’s fawning. Maybe a bit of hair pulling, or a wardrobe malfunction.

Competition is always a good motivator, after all.

Ty Lee pays for the rice candy before we head to a different shop, this one filled with painted fans and decorative sculptures. All fairly boring stuff, but I can appreciate the anonymity that a fan can give you. Mother has used it before to sneak out of the palace. A fan and some makeup is all anyone really needs to disappear.

Ty Lee picks up a fan detailing a water rabbit as it eats lotus buds. She snaps it open in front of her face. When it makes a sharp  _ click _ sound she lets out a squeal, delight coloring her cheeks. 

“Yes! This! I want this. Mai, Mai, you have have have to get something! Come on! Princess, you too! Come on, we have to match, it’ll be so cute! Princess, you need something beautiful and destructive, right? Okay, hear me out. A panther dog.” She quickly turns around, digging through the collection of fans that she already sorted at least once. One _click_ later and I’m staring at a painting of a panther dog climbing a tree, winding its way onto the lowest branch.

“Eeee, isn’t it perfect! Ah, so cute! And Mai, let’s see… you need something steady, right? What about a mountain? Ah, no, that doesn’t fit right. Uuuuh, I don’t want anything with water, that doesn’t match either. A garden? Aaaah, no, still not it! Maaaaaai, what type of drawiiiiiing? Oh. Wait, I know exactly what!” She goes back to digging around while Mai looks on in exasperated fondness. It’s what she normally looks like around Ty Lee. 

Truly annoying.

“Here!” She pulls out a depiction of the ancient Lion Turtles, the moving cities that fell into the earth when Agni blessed the world with fire, and the first firebenders were born. Weird choice but okay. “Yes! This!” She shoves the fan into Mai’s hands, and then the panther dog one into mine. “Perfect.”

She bats her eyes at Mai, who then pays with a small smile. 

And on to the next shop.

There’s clothing, more food, more decoration. Someone makes tables out of electrified wood, and someone else puts on a performance with other firebenders. Ty Lee stops to watch them perform until I drag her into the next shop.

By the time we’ve eaten through three bags of rice candy I decide to take a short break while the other two keep going, venturing into another clothes shop. Too many people means constant vigilance, even with my guards following behind. They can’t watch for everything, and I’m not leaving myself vulnerable.

Instead I jump onto the shop’s roof, sitting down and letting my conscious focus on my surroundings. The air shifts as one guard follows me up, but I put it to the back of my mind. Unimportant. 

Now, if anyone else comes near me I can know they’re a threat. It’s not the constant movement of people walking on the streets, only a smooth breeze from the wind, fluctuating in strength. It would be peaceful if people weren't so loud below me.

I nearly fall into a meditative trance, but pull myself out. Mai and Ty Lee have been inside for a while.

The shop is mostly empty. There’s the store owner sitting at her counter in the front and she motions me back to the clothing area. Her eyes are tired and sending me a meaningful look. Annoyance? Something to do with Mai and Ty Lee, but something she doesn’t want to deal with.

Maybe I should leave. It doesn’t seem important, and I don’t want to deal with it either. I walk in anyway.

The two are sitting on the ground, staring into a mirror. Ty Lee looks like she’s going to cry and Mai has a hard look in her eyes, silent as always.

“What, the clothes weren’t pretty enough?” There’s a bundle of dresses and skirts on the ground, dropped without a care. It looks like high quality items, the kind that Mother’s servants wear during important events. Low nobles probably have them for everyday use, though I don’t know for certain. 

“No, they were pretty,” Ty Lee’s voice is soft as she starts to stand up, Mai following her lead. “I just, uh, got a little upset. That’s all.” She glances at the mirror again. “I’m fine now.”

“What, that’s all it takes? A mirror and you can’t handle yourself? Come on, there’s no reason to be here if you’re just going to cry about it. Go.” She wipes her eyes on her sleeve and leaves the room, Mai trailing after her. The clothes are still piled on the ground, and the mirror looks at them, reflecting the bright pinks and yellows of fine stitching. 

I kick the mirror, one swift shattering of glass. It flies over the clothes, forming small tears in the fabric.

Better.

Ty Lee is smiling again by the time I leave the shop, even as the shopkeep cries outrage and my guard holds her back. The other one forces her to her knees before she finally calms down.

“Alright, I’ve grown tired of this. We’re heading back to the academy.” Ty Lee picks up some more rice candy before we leave town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what you think! This chapter was a bit difficult to get out (been thinking about how to go about it for a month now, so I just had to post and get it over with). So it's a couple days late, but I hope you enjoyed! And returning to by regularly scheduled bi-monthly wednesday updates.
> 
> Azula won't ever really know what's going on with Ty Lee, at least not for a while. So have fun guessing about it! There's been a few hints so far, but uh. nothing big yet.
> 
> Also, the third part in this series goes more into what Ty Lee and Mai talked about after Ty Lee's breakdown, so check that out!


	13. Grandfather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten finally leave, good riddance   
> Zuko's a soft boi  
> Grandfather is just so. old.

_ Finally _ Uncle and Lu Ten are leaving. They’ve been talking about it for months already. Planning this and that about how to attack when obviously the best way is to take a drill and just remove the wall. It’s not even that hard, but Uncle kept talking about breaking down the front gates. That makes no sense, the front is obviously going to be the most guarded. 

Whatever. If they want to fail, it’s not my problem. Maybe Grandfather will finally understand that Lu Ten is just as useless as Zuzu is. That would be nice. Maybe Uncle will even die in the fighting and Father can take over as heir. 

Zuzu doesn’t seem to understand what’s happening. Unsurprising, he’s always been a little slow. Unless he’s perfectly happy to see Uncle and Lu Ten go on to possible death, which I doubt. Zuzu’s always liked them for some reason, even though they’re dumb and soft.

Oh. Just like Zuzu. I guess they match.

He’s grinning up at Uncle, hugging him goodbye.

“You’ll send back lots of gifts, right Uncle?” Uncle laughs, chest shaking.

“Of course, of course! Anything for my favorite nephew.” Zuzu giggles up at him and lets go, turning to hug Lu Ten instead. “And what does my niece want? I’ve heard that Ba Sing Se has beautiful artistry, would you like something before we burn it to the ground?”

Ugh.

Why am I even here. It isn’t in the public eye, so there’s no reason to pretend we like each other to maintain face in front of the nation. It’s just another one that Mother said I had to come to and show respect to family. They’re just going to war, why should I care what happens? Now, if it was an inauguration, that would be a different story. Maybe if it was a wedding. I need to know what I’m up against.

But for them leaving? Really? Useless.

Uncle wipes away a fake tear and then he’s trying to pull me into a hug. Even if I didn’t hate getting anywhere near this man, being smushed against his armor is uncomfortable at best. As it is, both are a problem and I’m not physically strong enough to escape yet.

I wonder if there’s training for that. 

Aang probably knows something. He’s small and weak, escape was probably the first thing the air nomads taught him. I’ll have to ask him tonight.

More importantly, this stupid going away gathering is making it hard to join Ty Lee and Mai in the gardens. It’s the first break since the Academy started. I was promised ample time to train and access to equipment. There’s even incentive for Ty Lee when she gets bored or distracted, and full access to Father’s own elite guards to help train the two.

And yet I’m stuck here with Uncle and Lu Ten, waiting for them to just _leave_ _already_.

It’s been hours. Basically. And Zuzu is still hanging off Lu Ten while Uncle is still smushing me, and Mother is smiling at us while Father stands solemnly beside her. I’m surprised he came, but he’s useless in this situation. Uncle still ranks higher than him, and he wouldn’t care to release me in the first place.

Aang would probably laugh, but at least he’d help.

“Alright, Iroh,” Mother says, voice soft and she eases her hand onto his arm. “I think it’s time for you to head out, right? You don’t want the crew waiting for too long.”

“Ahaha! Let them wait! How long will it be until I can see these two again?” Mother smiles at him again, and I can almost feel gratitude for her intervention. Almost. She still let this farce go on for so long.

Uncle sighs and releases me, motioning for Lu Ten to leave Zuzu on the ground from the already half bent over position he’s in, Zuzu’s arms gripping around his neck. They’re both grinning like ashmakers promising more trouble, but one word from Mother calms their wild smiles to something more regal. 

At least she’s useful for something. The less I have to put up with those two the better. I can’t wait until they’re gone. 

Of course, there’s the entire festival-style trip to the ships for Uncle and Lu Ten to board, which means more of this annoying loudness and separation from actually useful activities.

Unless I can convince Father.

Who would say no, because we’re trying to show the elegance and strength of the royal family. Which means sneaking away is my only option. And I’ve gotten pretty good at that over the years. Father won’t even scold me for it. Mother will, but she scolds for everything and doesn’t matter.

I just need to get to the gardens. Mother won’t come looking for me, and her maids can’t force me to do anything.

We’re still on the second floor instead of the first where people are preparing for Uncle and Lu Ten’s send off, and where all the newly deployed soldiers are waiting to begin the march. It’s such a slow process, I can’t believe anyone can get anything done with all the formalities.

It’s the second floor, and no one would expect me to go through the window to escape. 

This room has an appalling lack of secret passageways, but even if I knew about them it would be too risky to use. Mother probably knows about my explorations, and Zuzu definitely does. I don’t particularly feel like showing that so obviously to Father, Uncle or Lu Ten. 

They might figure out some… things. That I don’t want them to. Like Aang. And it would make listening in a bit more difficult. 

But a window? Sure, it might be hard to sneak out through there quietly enough, but if I get caught going that way they can’t tie it back to any of my more obscure methods. 

I soften my steps as I move toward the window. Just little pads of air under my feet as I walk in the way Aang taught me. Most people in the castle have loud steps, Uncle especially, though Father is close behind. For a while I thought loud meant important. Mother has very quiet steps, after all. 

But Aang is the avatar. He’s young, sure. And a complete idiot. But he’s important enough to have a cell away from others, secluded. And he’s strong enough to send a ghostly form outside of his body to explore without anyone seeing him.

Aang has the quietest movements I’ve ever heard. 

I rest my palms on the window cill and vault over, moving fast to hide my body below sight. My fingers still grip the edge for a moment before I drop, clothes swooshing around me. They catch some of the air and I use it to soften my landing, filling my clothes more and more and resisting the pull of gravity.

There’s someone moving around me.

The air is stalled, collapsing in on itself like a person’s standing in the way of the wind. They’re out of sight, but I  _ know  _ they’re here and they  _ saw _ . The question is where. Upwind, I know that much. But air bends and moves and shifts, and it makes telling directions  _ hard _ . 

But they’re upwind. 

And so I start to follow.

…

Azula leaves, but that’s fine. I don’t want her around anyway. She’s always mean to Lu Ten, even though he’s never figured that out. He’s too nice. And trusting. But that’s what makes him great!

I don’t tell mom, even though I probably should. Azula would just mess everything up on purpose! He’d be mean and make people feel bad and she’s lie about something and get me in trouble and I don’t want that.

It wasn’t that far of a fall… I think. She’s probably fine.

She’s Azula, of course she’s fine!

She can’t get hurt. It isn’t possible.

Maybe… maybe I should go check. Just to be sure.

But how can I go to the window now? Lu Ten would notice, and that would draw attention and then people will wonder where Azula is and they’ll figure out she went through the window and they’ll get mad at me for not stopping her and then Uncle and Lu Ten’s ceremony will be delayed or ruined and it’ll all be my fault!

I don’t want that!

So Azula’s fine.

Azula’s fine and I’m not going to see Uncle and Lu Ten for forever since they’re going away, but Uncle promised to send me gifts and Lu Ten said he’d write letters about how everything’s going and that I have to write letters to him so he knows I’m having fun. 

It’ll be a lot of work since Lu Ten’s always worried, but that just means my letters have to be extra perfect!

Mama can help since she’s really good at making words sound nice even when they aren’t. She does that to Azula’s maids all the time when they say something bad about Azula. Mama even does it when Azula deserves what the maids say!

It’s a bit weird and I don’t understand how nice words can be mean, but Mama’s really good at it so she must be good at making not nice things nice, and Lu Ten won’t worry anymore!

Everything’ll be less fun with Lu Ten gone for so long. Azula’s been at school forever, and now that she’s back she still spends more time with her new friends than she does in my room.

Which is good, because she’s annoying, but I don't like working so much and Mama’s always busy so I can’t go distract her or she’ll get in trouble. I can go visit Aang but he’s been  _ there _ there less often recently and I can’t figure out how to make him come back even though I know he’s in the cell all the time. Maybe he’s dying. Mama said that death is when a person’s body is there but their mind isn’t, and it won’t ever be again which means they’re gone. But Aang’s mind keeps coming back, it just takes longer and longer.

Maybe I should introduce Azula to him. She’s really good at dragging people where they don't want to go, and she’s distracting enough that your mind can’t go where it wants to. Azula can drag his mind back, and then keep it there because it won’t remember that it wanted to leave it the first place!

Wait. That means  _ I _ would have to bring Azula to meet Aang.

Nevermind. Bad idea. Azula doesn’t like nice people and Aang’s the nicest. She also doesn’t like weak people, and he’s even weaker than I am!

Azula can go have fun with her stupid friends and I’ll stay here by myself and say bye to everyone and make sure they’re okay and then keep being the son Mama says I should be. See if I care what she does.

Mama and I walk with Uncle and Lu Ten as they climb into the sedan. The carriers are already heaving bars onto their shoulders, lifting the chair up off the ground. “Stay safe out there,” Mama says, briefly squeezing Lu Ten’s hand before letting go. We have to go to our own chair with Father to give a formal send off for members of the royal family. Grandfather Azulon insisted.

He won’t like that Azula left.

Mama grabs my hand and starts walking to our chair when she says, “Zuko, where did your sister go?” Her tone is soft, but I know she’s angry. Stupid Azula, making it hard for Mama.

“Out the window,” I mumble. I can’t help it! I don’t want Azula here, and Mama is gonna send someone to find her and bring her back and she’ll ruin everything!

“I see. And when did this happen?” I know I’m pouting, I can feel it, but it’s so hard not to. Maybe if I look at my feet more… oops, they’re shuffling now. Father said I’m not allowed to do that. “Zuko, I’m not mad at you. We just need to find your sister.”

“When we were upstairs… a while ago.”

“Alright, thank you. Songlan,” Mama calls out to one of her shadows. She says not to trust this one with anything too secret, but that they’re good at finding things and keeping track of Azula. Mama said that they won’t hurt Azula. She didn’t mention anything about if they’d hurt me.

“Yes,” Songlan says, bowing to Mama.

“Go find Azula and get her back here before we start. She jumped out of an east window.” They bow again before leaving. Mama turns to me again, right outside our chair. “You’ll have to be on your absolute best behavior until Azula gets here, understand? Your Father might be in a good mood for now, but it won’t last long.”

“I know Mama,” and I do. His good moods never last long.

…

Songlan didn't manage to find Azula before we all left. They didn’t find her until the next day when Grandfather summoned everyone to his throne room. Father didn’t even mind that she was missing, though he did notice. 

She’s so lucky.

Even Grandfather only has praise for her! She’s the entire reason we got called, and it’s not even about how she skipped out on her duty as the First Princess! No, instead it’s about how she’s managed to beat every master they’ve sent to train her, and how she’s exceeded expectations, and how she’s just the most perfect person in the entire world and aren’t they so happy that someone useful is left to carry the stupid family line since Ozai’s first born is just so useless.

I hate her.

I hate her more when Father decides it’s time Azula demonstrates her abilities and she runs through a perfect set of taolu complete with arching fire and a flying kick that reaches higher than she is tall. 

Azula is impossible, and impossibly talented. She knows it and she loves that fact, and it only helps her look down on everyone else that’s trying just as hard as she is.

I can tell by the look in her eye that she thinks everyone in this room is below her, even Grandfather Azulon. Even Father. She never considered Mama or I as a possibility in her list and it  _ burns _ because  _ she’s right _ . I can’t do anything.

But that doesn't mean I won’t try. Mama says that everything I do is awesome because I try really hard, and Mama doesn't lie like Azula so I can trust her.

“Grandfather, I want to show you what I’ve been practicing!” I shout, already standing up. Father frowns but that’s okay because  _ I can do this _ .

…

Zuzu’s an idiot.

That’s it, case closed, the only mystery is how I’m related to him. He must get it from Uncle’s side. Mother’s weak, but at least she’s smart enough to keep things hidden and to prevent others from seeing just how weak. Zuzu isn’t. 

I probably got my mind from Mother’s side, and my strength from Father’s.

It’s the only possibility, because turns out Father’s an idiot too. It took a while to figure out, but I did. Everything that he does is a repeat. His battle tactics are all documented in history as key strategies of important, tide-changing battles. He can probably remember a lot, but it’s all just old information being used. Copy and regurgitate. 

Father’s boring.

So what does that make Grandfather?

It’s dumb, sometimes. He sees my low level skills, the achievement that mere foot soldiers reach after a few years of decent training, and he’s impressed. I’ve shown him battle strategies, ones that are barely thought out and easy to pull off, and he’s impressed. I could probably show him the bare minimum of planning for a prank and he’d be impressed. Low standards are boring and dumb and annoying, they should place those on Zuko instead.

It will be a blessing when the old man finally dies. He’s past his prime. Even Uncle Iroh would be a better leader than him, and Uncle is far too soft to truly lead anyone or anything. At least he still has standards.

They’re pathetic and warped standards, but they exist.

At least his flames are white instead of red, instead of the dying fire of Azulon’s strength.

Father’s mood drops because of Zuzu, and even Grandfather’s low standards aren’t met with Zuzu’s poor performance. That’s fine. I’m here to make it better, to raise his moral and to bend his will to my own. 

It’s easy.

Father doesn't like training me, no matter how he hides it. He doesn’t like giving me lessons in leadership, or he prevents me from interacting with our generals. He gives me stupid masters to learn their stupid basics. Worse, he hasn’t given me people to train my future guards. Even though they’ve been at the palace for multiple days now, and the fact that it’s past time for them to start learning. Both come from noble families, and Fire Nation nobles are lax in training their children. Which is stupid, but for some reason they trust guards more than masters.

I won’t allow myself to be vulnerable in the future, and Father is  _ getting in my way _ . 

Grandfather will see it my way, so I smile at him and I ask for some time to talk, and I perform impossible movements. His ailing eyes and mind miss just how impossible my movements are. 

“Azula,” his voice is hard but his eyes are soft, warmed by the dying fire. “You have done well.” He pats my head and I grin up at him, staring at his wrinkling face with the innocence of Ty Lee. 

“Thank you, Grandfather!” He’s silent for a little bit, and I wait to say anything. Grandfather’s mind has slowed. Even if it hadn’t, I’ve long since learned where Zuzu gets his quiet, reserved nature. Grandfather never knows how to fill silence. It can be uncomfortable, sure, but it’s far more uncomfortable for him. 

“I see that your masters have taught you well,” he goes with, finally. It’s been entire minutes. “Tell me, who have you learned from? I’ll reward them.”

_ Aang _ , is the name I can’t say. “Well, I can’t fully credit most of them. Father always finds me a new one after I prove more than capable of handling the masters. It normally takes around a week’s time, and I haven’t bothered to learn many of their names.” 

He’s silent again.

“How… is school.” Oh god, he really can’t think of anything.

“Well. I’ve made a couple friends.” Friends. What Aang calls them. Grandfather has talked about his friends before, he prefers that term. “They’re actually here for break. All of my classes are easy, and the teachers are nice.” Ty Lee calls all of the teachers nice. She’s weird like that.

“That’s good.” More silence. Why did I think this was a good idea? Right, because he’s the current Fire Lord.

His flames are still flickering while we sit, him on the throne and me in lotus on the floor in front of him. The shadows dance across his face, casting his eyes in darker shades. He’s entirely ghoulish at this point. Old and wrinkled and so far past his prime I can't even remember how he looks in paintings. 

He’ll die soon, and Father better be the next in line. I won’t let the royal line fall to the likes of Lu Ten or Zuzu. 

“Bring them to me.” I can only assume he’s talking about Ty Lee and Mai, but as I’ve said. His mind is going.

“Who?”

“Your friends. I want to meet them.” Ah yes, his soft heart falls into my grasp so easily. He’s lucky I don’t plan to harm him. There’s people my age trained as assassins. I’ve met a couple. It would be very easy to sneak one or two of them in instead of harmless noble children. 

Mother would never make that mistake. 

Training for Ty Lee and Mai should be easy to achieve now. Grandfather will find them teachers, or he’ll order Father to do so.

Mother is waiting outside as I leave the room. Her eyes are weary, suspicious, and directed at me. As I said, Mother would never make that mistake. She’s too afraid.

“What did you and Fire Lord Azulon talk about?” Her eyes are still sharp in the way they rarely ever are anymore. I would be flattered, if they weren’t normally directed at Zuzu. She’s labeled me as weak, as the one in danger. Not the threat.

Boring.

“Nothing,” I sing, skipping away. She grabs my arm and holds me back. Not too tightly, but enough to keep me in her grasp. I could break it, if I wanted to. But I’m curious. Mother’s never this forceful, and she’s never this aware.

Maybe she thinks I’m Zuko.

“Nothing much, just what I do each day. Learning, classes, training. The normal stuff.”

“Azula,” so she knows who I am. Impressive. “I’m serious. What did you talk about.”

“What? That’s it! It’s not like he’s really  _ able _ to talk about anything interesting anymore!” This time she yanked her hand back. I didn’t burn her, my fire didn’t even heat my skin a little. Another act of weakness, and one that she showed so clearly.

“Azula! You can’t say that about your Grandfather!”

“Why not? It’s not like it matters.” there’s still guards around, but the maids and servants have cleared out. My guards won’t dare tell anyone, and Mother doesn't have guards. I can say whatever I wish without fear of it getting back to Grandfather.

“Yes, it does. He’s the Fire Lord, Azula. And your Grandfather. That  _ means _ something.” Mother’s eyes have a spark, a focus, a purpose. She has the eyes of a firebender, but only for a moment.

“What? What does it mean, what’s so great about him?”

“ _ Family, _ Azula. He’s family. And that means you have to deal with him and you have to protect him, and you have to respect him. Just like you have to do for your brother, and your uncle, and your cousin. Like you do with your Father and I. Azula, that’s more important than his place as the Fire Lord.” Ah, yes. Mother’s obsession with family.

“What do you know about that? Mother, in case you’ve forgotten, you don’t have family. Hm? Where’s the aunties and uncles from your side? A grandmother or grandfather? Unless you're hiding them away, which I doubt, you’ve  _ rejected them _ . Forsaken them, even!” I can’t hide my grin. Mother’s face looks like I struck her, but it’s  _ lasting _ and it must  _ hurt _ more than any physical pain could.

Finally something that isn’t boring.

“You got rid of your family for someone stronger, so why should I stay around a weak old man if he’s not even useful? I’m just following in Mother’s footsteps.” Ha! She didn’t expect that! Marrying into the royal family, losing contact with the people who raised her. It was a solid plan. If she didn’t regret it so much, I could have even respected her for it.

But Mother is weak, and she couldn’t even push aside hr stupid feelings of guilt or whatever it is to just thrive.

I have Father’s strength and Mother’s mind. I have her mind, but not her heart. My heart is all my own.

Stupid things like emotions or Aang’s morals are useless, there’s no purpose for them other than gaining sympathy and faking care.

It’s a good thing I’m not stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if there's any mistakes! I've been going without a beta since, like, chapter 6 because they got busy.
> 
> Tell me your thoughts! Everything you guys say makes me all fuzzy inside :D


	14. Wars take their price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and families disappoint

Ozai’s words almost slip past as I rush to leave the room. Almost. The softly spoken, flippantly worded “Lu Ten died,” like those words don’t matter. It nearly sounded unimportant, like something to ignore.

Instead I pause, fingers brushing the door handle. “What was that?” Just to make sure. He’s so young, and Prince Iroh wouldn’t allow for something to happen to his son. 

“Lu Ten died. During the siege.” I pointedly ignore the upward twitch of his lips, instead shifting my hand and opening the door. I slip out. A battle is a very good way to hide malintent.

He was so young.

Zuko will be his age soon. Ozai will send Zuko to battle.

Iroh must be devastated.

Azula won’t be sent to war, probably. Hopefully. Ozai thinks she’s important.

Iroh thought Lu Ten was important.

Would Ozai be sad?

No.

Ah, how to tell Zuko. Azula should be fine. 

Will Iroh come home? He might finish the siege, might try for revenge.

I don’t think so.

Azulon must know. Ozai wouldn’t know before the Fire Lord. Probably. Maybe.

It was a battle, after all.

“Zuko,” I call through the halls. He can probably hear me. My little baby always knows when I need him. “Zuko, where are you?” I pay no mind to the maids scrambling out of sight, or to the guards pushing back into the shadows. They aren’t Zuko.

I keep walking. He’ll find me. He always does. 

“Zuko?”

“Mama!” I turn, catching his surprise as he smiles. He knows something is wrong. Ah, my smart, sweet boy. 

“Zuko, I need to tell you something. Where’s your sister? You should hear from me. Come, let’s find her.” Zuko nods and takes me by the hand. Good, I don’t want to lose him. It’s a very large place, and he’s such a small child.

“C’mon, we were just playing with Uncle’s presents.” 

“Good, good.”

“Did Uncle win? Is he coming back? Is he bringing more presents? Azula burned hers, which is dumb because it was so pretty! But she did, and now she wants my knife, but you can’t let her have it because it’s mine! Okay, Mama?”

Ah, I’ll have to remind Azula not to take others’ things. She knows better. 

“Of course, baby. Now, we should hurry, shouldn’t we? We don’t want to keep anyone waiting.” My baby pauses for a moment to stare at me, and I smile back at him. Did I say something wrong?

“Okay Mama. Let’s go,” he stays quiet for most of the walk, just a few sounds here and there. Comments, mostly. I don’t know what about, they were under his breath. Everything, just below, out of sight. Ears? Ah, yes, out of ear. Hearing.

I wonder where Azula is?

“Come on, Mama,” Zuko pulls me inside a small room. Ah, the play room? Wait, no. There’s no playroom anymore. Where are we?

“Mother,” Azula starts. Ah, Azula!

“Mama, what happened?” Ah, Zuko. What did happen? I was with Ozai…

Oh! Iroh!

“You need to be very nice to your Uncle the next time you see him, okay? He’s going to be very sad. Very sad.” Why was he sad again? My two children look at each other for a moment. Ah, they’re so close. Look how they can talk without talking. Precious babies.

Babies? Precious? Losing them, like losing Lu Ten. Oh, yes, that’s why Iroh is upset. Of course, it makes sense again. Now to tell them.

“Something happened to your cousin, it seems. Lu Ten won’t be coming back from the battle.”

“So he died.” My daughter has always been so straight forward, not careful with her words at all. I’ll have to teach her better. Maybe later, when Zuko isn’t crying.

“Come here, Zuko,” I say, opening my arms wide. My sleeves brush against the ground, draping in red silken puddles. Zuko climbs onto my lap, even though he barely fits anymore. He’s gotten so big.

When did I sit?

Azula stays back a ways. She doesn't need comforting, she never does. Azula is very, very strong. Like her father. And scary, but not right now. Right now she’s calm, just watching. She isn’t happy, not yet, but she’s too similar to her father. She’ll become happy in a matter of time. 

She never liked Lu Ten, either.

She wouldn’t be involved in the battle, right? She’s still so young. Merely 10. Her reach only extends the castle for now. And her academy. And anywhere her soldiers go.

No, she wouldn’t.

Zuko keeps sobbing, flooding my silken puddles with dark drops. I’ll have to apologize to the maids when they go to wash it. They’ll understand. Zuko is too kind for his own good, they won’t complain about him. Even among themselves. 

Not like Azula. That girl has everyone complaining, even if it’s never to her face. Even if it’s far more quiet and cautious than anything they say about me. About Ozai. 

Danger closest to you is always more motivating than the one far away, and Ozai has no reason to draw close. 

I look up for my daughter, but she disappeared to somewhere. I’m sitting in the shadows now, the sun having shifted along the sky and drawn it’s light from the room. It’s been a while, then. 

“Come, Zuko. We should get lunch.”

“‘M not hungry,” he mumbles, voice thick and broken.

“You need to, baby, come on. Just a little? Don’t worry your Mama.” He stays silent, drawing out his thoughts and waiting for me to fold. I won’t, not on this. Not on keeping him safe and healthy.

“Fine,” he barely whispers loud enough to hear, but I can always hear my baby.

“Good boy,” I say, pushing him gently off my lap and onto his own feet. I can’t lift him, not anymore, but he’s gentle enough to take his own weight on his feet, partially standing with his limp body.

I take his hand and start to lead him back down the endless hallways. I think I know where the kitchens are, even if this ever expanding and shifting palace does its best to lose me in the walls. 

Zuko knows it better, but his mind is as clouded as mine, for now. He’s not used to the clouds, though. It’ll take time.

His hands are cold in mine, even though his body normally runs hot. Very hot. Like the fire is under his skin getting ready to burn through. The frost I can feel only shows how deep his core was affected. 

He’ll learn to live and forget, with time. 

Time isn’t something we have.

Soup. That’s what my mother made for me after the passing of Grandfather. Lotus soup would be good, nothing with meat in it for my little Zuko, no. 

Ah, there we go, there’s his spark, his embers burning in the corners of his eyes. My pretty boy, your clouds are clearing.

“What does it mean?” His question is a hard one, one that I don’t know how to answer. 

“What does what mean, Zuko?”

“That he’s gone. What does it mean? Is he dead?” Zuko has dealt with death before. Death of the turtle ducks in our pond, death of servants he was close to. Listed deaths of guards and soldiers, distant though those may be.

“Yes, he died. I do not know how.”

“What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to keep you safe of course. You and your sister. I won’t allow you to go to war, neither of you.” That wasn’t what he was asking. His eye twitches in frustration, unable to voice his thoughts. Poor boy, falling into silence even around me.

Lunch comes and goes, dinner is quiet sounds and hushed whispers from servants. Zuko doesn’t say a word, not when he’s only just calmed down his loss. Azula is quick to leave, disappearing to wherever it is that girl goes.

I retreat into my room for a moment, allowing my maids to fuss over my appearance. Zuko has left drips on my sleeves, but nothing large enough that I couldn’t cover them during the meal. Ozai shouldn’t have noticed anything, distracted as he is with the shifting plans.

Prince Iroh is likely to return to the capital, forgoing the rest of the war. He’ll mourn Lu Ten in relative peace, nothing like a general and all as a father.

Zuko will likely have nightmares tonight, either caused by Lu Ten’s death or Azula’s taunting. It will be best if he stays with me, just for a little while. Not jumping at the shadows the way I taught him would be nice for a short while. I can do the jumping for him.

Zuko’s voice echoes through the corridors, shouting into my face. Azula’s messing with him again. That child needs to leave her brother alone sometimes.

“How do you know what he’d do!” Zuko yells. I sigh and sweep into the room. His next words are quiet, I can barely make out the sad melody he carries. 

Azula is dancing around while Zuko looks, once again, close to tears. Yes, he’s staying with me tonight. 

“He’s a coward and a loser,” Azula says, her voice sharp even with the playfully glinting edge. It seems they’re talking of Prince Iroh, then. About him returning home or winning the war, perhaps. It seems I have given Zuko blind belief. He can have it, at least for a short while. 

“Azula, do not speak of your Uncle that way.”

“What? It’s true.” Her sharp eyes turn on me, challenging as always. I don’t back down. “He’s awfully sentimental, can’t you tell?” Yes, he is. But that doesn’t count as a problem, not nearly as much as Azula’s lack of sentiment does. 

“That is no reason to torment your brother.” Azula spits out air, even as her eyes dance. No remorse, not in that child. So very much like her father.

Ozai has asked for an audience with Fire Lord Azulon, and I can only hope what comes of it will leave us untouched. His own lack of sentiment can turn dangerous far quicker than it should. A blade directed at family and those closest within reach.

Torment is the earliest warning sign.

“Of course it is. If I didn’t, then who would?” I elect not to answer.

“Your Father will be meeting with the Fire Lord; stay out of trouble until after he has finished. I better not hear word of your disrupting their discussion.” The way that she always does, the way that her Grandfather encourages with his laughter and her Father does nothing to prevent, not when she brings him benefits each time.

“Why do you call him Fire Lord, just say Grandfather.” Her eyes are daring me, searching for anything in my eyes. She does this sometimes, asks a question, one so simple and unimportant, and dissects every bit of my answer. Anything that might give way to….  _ something _ . I don’t know what, but she keeps looking.

It’s exhausting, even when I can’t think of anything that needs hiding. 

I pull Zuko along, letting another question go unanswered.

…

Mother leaves with my boring brother following her, but she did give me an idea. 

If Father is meeting with Grandfather at this time of night, there must be something important. And something that he doesn't want others to hear. Mother should know better than to alert me, maybe she’s having an off day. 

It seemed like it this morning.

Just like always, sneaking into the throne room is easier than it should be. Grandfather is lucky that full grown adults wouldn’t be able to slip through the gaps and tunnels leading in. And that these aren’t written down in any map of the palace that I’ve managed to find.

I stay silent behind the thick red curtains lining the walls, hiding the boring grey from sight. Always so fancy, always so impractical. Curtains can burn, of course. And in such a closed off room, the air can run out so quickly.

Ideas for another time, maybe.

Father is practically pleading for Grandfather to change the line of succession, lowering himself in front of that old fool. It goes past the point expected of the filial son, not that Father is one anyway.

Father, who believes in strength. Father, who continues to act this way in front of a weakening man. 

I can’t risk sending wind to blow their words over to my ears, but I don’t need to anyway. Not when Father is loud enough that it echoes around me.

“I am your humble servant, here to serve both you and our nation,” he panders, head touching hands. “Use me.”

“You dare suggest -” Grandfather keeps talking about this and that, loyalty to Iroh as the eldest son and the right of a father to mourn. It stays boring until finally, finally Grandfather says his  _ advice _ . 

It’s not good advice, of course. Killing Zuzu won’t prove anything, and it won’t give Father more right to the throne than Uncle has. It’s a test to see how ruthless Father is. One that, should he go through with it, will leave him with no claim to the throne. Grandfather is like Uncle. Sentimental. He doesn’t care for Zuzu, but he does care for Mother and Uncle. Upsetting them would make him sad.

Fool.

But more importantly, the people wouldn’t allow it. The courts wouldn’t. Father has nowhere near enough power, despite what he thinks. Uncle is still stronger than him, and Uncle has more followers willing to fight. He’s the actual general, in control of actual armies. Father stays here, working with the courts and weeding out those who go against him.

There are many who go against, and he does it so poorly.

And yet Father speaks his willingness to go through with it. 

Boring.

If he does, then he’ll be removed from the line of succession entirely. I, as part of his line, would be removed as well. 

Oh, and Zuzu would die. That’d be a problem.

Mother took Zuzu with her, probably for the night. She always does that when he’s crying. It’s dumb and she’s just making him weaker, but that’s not my problem. She should be with him now, as well.

I head to her rooms, uncaring of the guards that finally manage to catch sight of me. Truly, someone should train these wimps.

Zuzu is alone in Mother’s bedroom chamber, lying face first on her sheets. Loser. She’s probably taking the time to wash or whatever adults do before sleeping. It always takes Mother far longer than it takes me.

I lean against the wall, just watching. He’s not crying anymore, which is nice. I don’t want to deal with that any longer than I have to.

Anger is more fun. Or frustration.

“Father’s gonna kill you,” I sing, waiting for his rage. It doesn’t come. “Really, he is.”

Frustration. “Haha Azula, nice try.” Oh, good. He’s playing along. I wonder how long we can play this out. Until Mother returns? Until she stops us? Until I finally learn what she’s been hiding in her empty eyes and wistful glares?

I know there’s something, and I know it’s dangerous, and I  _ want it _ .

If it takes a threat to Zuzu? Well. It was going to happen anyway. Maybe she can stop it if she tries.

Zuzu calls me a liar, like he always does. Which, fine. But he should listen to me anyway. “I’m only telling you for your own safety. I know! You could find a nice water tribe family to adopt you!” Zuzu couldn’t survive the Earth Kingdom, not if Aang’s stories of chaotic geniuses were true. He’d be cold, sure, but who cares about comfort. He’s a firebender, anyway. He’ll learn.

“Father would never do that to me!” I have to pause for a moment. I knew he was stupid, but is he really this stupid? Of course Father would, if he thinks it would get him on the throne.

I can hear the footsteps approaching, the large push of air from flowing robes. Good, that was just enough time for Mother to join us. At least now I don’t have to worry about Zuzu bringing it up to her later. “Your Father would never do what to you? What is going on here.”

Isn’t it obvious? “I don’t know.” Mother grabs me by the wrist and pulls me toward the hall. I guess she didn’t like my response. Oh well.

“It’s time for a talk,” her strict voice grates into my head. At least she’s fully present now. It’s the one thing Zuko’s always been good for. She locks us into a separate room, this one smaller. I haven’t been in here, so there’s probably no ways to sneak in. No way for people to listen in.

No way for me to have searched it before. 

“What is going on?” Her eyes bore into mine, jaw tense, face pale.

How much to tell her, hm? It could be fun, making her panic. There’s a threat to Zuzu, of course she’ll react. 

Now, would the useless reach for power be more upsetting, or the direct threat.

She can’t go after Father, can’t do anything to convince him to leave Zuzu alive. She won’t be able to convince him that he would lose this power play. Azulon won’t believe that Father doesn’t care for Zuzu, no matter how much he’s shown it. He overestimates Father’s love, Father’s sentimentality. 

He won’t believe that Father is so foolish to believe in this hollow prize. 

Now, who should take the blame. Father or Grandfather.

Grandfather. He’s most likely to be affected by whatever Mother decides to do.

“Grandfather told Father he had to kill Zuzu.” Mother’s eyes go wide, but her eyes burn like a bender’s. 

“And why would he do that?” I shrug. It’s truly incomprehensible how his mind works, why should I understand the reasoning. Mother’s cheeks begin to flush. Ah, her body is waking up properly. Good.

“I was just telling Zuzu what I heard, but he didn’t wanna listen. Mother, don’t you think he should take advice when it’s given?” I blink innocently at her, even though she doesn’t believe it.

I’m protecting her son. Kind of. She should be happy.

“I’m going to speak with Ozai. Stay in my rooms and out of trouble.” Mother sweeps out before checking to see if I follow. Dumb mistake, but she’s forgiven. Time to explore.

This room is more empty than any of the others. I light a flame on my palm - the lamp she has burning isn’t bright enough to actually see into the corners, not in the way that I need to. There’s a desk resting above a wooden chest. I automatically go to open it, of course, only to find more wooden boxes. Which is dumb, but it’s easy enough to pull them out and open them one by one.

The first one has jewelry. Necklaces, rings, things like that. All of them cheap, items that could be bought off the streets instead of proper stones for the Princess Concert. And old judging by the dust and wear. There’s no hidden drawers and the items don’t come apart - it’s just boring, normal jewelry.

The next box is similar, but this time full of masks and clothing. Nothing practical, though the masks could help if you wander around during a festival. Which I don’t do. Nor does Mother, not when it’s so easy to be attacked when already shoved up against strangers in a crowd. 

Another box is similar to what healers have. The few times I’ve been sick enough to visit, they would take out boxes with tons of different slots and openings and drawers, pulling out medicines from each. Her box has a metal stick with two dangling circles. Probably a scale, but not one that I’ve seen before.

But I’m not here for gems or masks or medicine. None of that is interesting! So I keep going through, skimming over letters and another box filled with Zuzu’s old toys that he’s grown out of. 

There’s a box of my old toys, few as those were.

This was completely useless, a waste of far too much of my time.

Boring.

If Zuzu dies because of Azulon’s dumb suggestion, our name will not stay prized. 

We really need a new Fire Lord.

I tell Aang as much, when I go visit. It’s too early to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zuko being in danger is enough to snap Ursa out of her 'fog,' and I hope that came through during her section.
> 
> A lot of this chapter was following cannon, though a little losely. Things have changed because of Aang's interaction with Zuko and Azula, so times and events have mildly shifted. Ozai is a bit more full of himself for capturing the avatar, Zuko is a bit happier with a friend, Azula starts to respect those with physical power less. Things like that. Hopefully the cannon-compliant bits didn't sound redundent.


	15. Burning Coronations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Sorry.

Zuzu keeps crying like an idiot. It’s unbecoming of a prince. 

I have a few days off school. Father thought it would be best to present to the world that the royal family is in mourning. Sounds dumb, especially as he’s planning his coronation with his sharp smiles. 

Father truly is bad at acting. 

Uncle will be coming home, probably to stay for good. He’s withdrawn as a general since he’s too weak to avenge his son, and his right to the throne was taken away after whatever Mother did with Grandfather before he died. 

I’ll never figure out Mother’s secret now.

What to do…

Zuzu will attach to Uncle once he’s back. He can blubber all over that man all he wants, as long as it keeps the tears and man away from me. 

Thankfully I’ll be able to go back to the academy soon. Father thinks it’s important that I’m present for his coronation, which means it will be a bit longer. It’s not like I want to go back to boring teachers and boring classmates, but he’s being suffocating. 

He’s always had strict control over Zuzu, but Mother tended to control my schedule when I was at home. Now that Father has taken over, he’s planned things for me to do at every moment. Even given me new teachers, Lo and Li.

They might be the ones actually planning, instead of him, but it’s still his fault.

And they  _ watch me _ so much more than my guards have ever been able to. There's a strand of hair out of place, an arm a  _ fraction _ of a length too low, if I breathe only from my belly instead of both belly and chest. Anything that isn’t perfect is corrected.

They only have to correct me once, but there’s too many little things that I didn’t know I was doing wrong. My previous masters were useless. Everyone was useless, if I can’t even sit properly during meals.

Clearly my education has been lacking and only now has Father stepped in to make it proper. How many people must know that the Fire Nation royalty had such low standards? Honestly. Father has made me a disgrace. 

I intend to correct that.

So I put up with Lo and Li. For now, at least. Until they’re no longer able to find errors.

They won’t follow me to the academy, though. Which is dumb. If their education can’t be done quickly then it’s a waste of time. But I’ll accept their reluctance. No matter how pathetic they want to leave me, I’ll stay better than anyone else. 

Of course, that is a given.

Even as my maids dress me, prepare me for Father’s coronation, I present myself perfectly. 

No hair straying where it shouldn’t. 

They pull my hair into a topknot, leaving two groups at either side to frame my face. They say it makes me cuter, and I leave them to do so. Cute is unnecessary, but if that’s the image Father wants to portray for today, then I’ll let him. 

My clothes are a pristine white, the golden trim accenting the gold in my eyes. At least, that’s what Lo says. Or Li. It shows that I’m of royal blood or something. 

It actually just means I’m a firebender, but they can put all the pretty words on it as they want. My eyes burn brighter than Father’s, and if that gives me more right to the throne I won’t protest.

A guard comes to knock on the door, signaling the start. I have to meet Father and Zuzu before we’re presented to the nation. Father will finally be sitting on his throne, right in the center of the room. His flames will be lighting the walls instead of Grandfather’s or Uncles.

Let’s see how high he can make them burn.

I reign in my heat. There’s no need to add to Father’s flames, and it won’t doue to burn anything today. My air still flows around, this time more active than normal with all the excitement in the air. Even though I can’t see them, there are people moving through the hallways, pressing up against me without knowing it. 

There’s nothing suspicious yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.

Father does have enemies, of course.

Sadly, some fools decided that Uncle was the more important of the brothers. Uncle has no claim to the throne, nor any desire for it. And yet his fools of followers have been sneaking around, building their strategy. Father might have noticed.

He’ll be fine. His guards are here, the one with the whip is standing right behind him, ready. 

She never did teach me.

I present myself, kneeling before Father’s throne. His flames barely reach half way, and they’re a burning orange with flicks of red. 

Zuzu and I will be sitting up there with him soon enough. Right once he decides Zuzu’s worth, of course, but I'll be there soon enough. Zuzu, the idiotic ashmaker that he is, still isn’t here. Father will punish him later, but by then I should be gone.

I shift some of the dirt into Father’s flames.

His frown when his flames die down is enough to lower my boredom, if only momentarily.

When can I return to school, again? This is taking too long. 

Father motions for me to rise, and I stand at attention as Fire Sages file in to line Father’s path out the door. I shift to join their line, allowing Father to pass with a short bow. Zuko’s spot across from me is empty. That idiot. Lo and Li told me just how important this part was, in order to show the proper respect to Father and acknowledge our place is beneath him once again. His rise in power does not mean our rise in status.

Lo, or was it Li? One of them said that lacking in respect was grounds to remove us from the line of succession. Father might take insult. He might respond with prison time for Zuko, seeing as killing him wouldn’t be a challenge for him. 

Zuko should be very careful from now on. I won’t always care to protect him.

Outside the palace walls there are rows and rows of banners attached to wooden posts, all carried by people who looked far too weak for the size of those posts. All at once, they slowly lowered into a bow, bringing the posts down as they went.

That could be interesting training. I might start Mai on it. Her skill with stilettos is impressive, but useless at short range. I don’t plan to be around to protect her, either.

Our guards step to the side, leaving only the people clad in white to stand, centered on our podium. One of the Fire Sages goes to speak to the crowd gathered below, first. Something about laying Grandfather to rest and waiting for the dragons to come and take his spirit away.

Mother said that there’s still dragons out there, but I doubt they would care for someone as insignificant as Grandfather. They don’t come for just any firebender. If they did, we would see the dragons everywhere. 

They’ll come for me, when I reach Grandfather’s age.

Avatar Roku had a dragon that he rode; there’s no way I’ll allow my mount to be anything less. I don’t want anything like Aang’s sky bison, no matter how cool he thinks it is.

Fire is still better than air, even if air can tell me when there's an attack.

A strong gust of air throws a would-be attacker off balance, and I hide the swipe of my palm with a motion of surprise.

A dull murmur grows among the crowd, though Father silences it with a wave of his hand. The attacker is taken away, dragged by three guards with arms behind the back, legs dangling. They shouldn't have though they could get away with it. 

Though, Uncle’s faction truly is dumb. I can't be surprised they tried something like this.

The formalities continue as the sun crosses the sky, and finally we’re allowed to return to our chambers and get out of the ridiculous outfits. My white is still pristine, but I feel too warm under it. I didn’t like today.

I can finally be released back to the academy, away from these stuffy halls and people watching the tunnels a tad too carefully for easy movement.

Father is expecting attackers, after all.

…

“Princess Azula,” one of the maids starts. Instead of packing my items for the journey. I don’t plan to keep her under my employment much longer. “Prince - Pardon me, Fire Lord Ozai has summoned you.” I stare at her as she starts to squirm. It only takes a few moments before she’s bowing out of my room.

Truly she does not deserve to be in the palace. Too useless to even serve Zuzu, he’ll probably scare her away with his baby face.

That’s what Ty Lee called it, the last time she was here.

I don’t breathe out a sigh, that would be below my status. I do take my time preparing to see Father, though. His newly crowned self will want fawning, and he’ll have to be satisfied by me dressing up in clothing expected of the Fire Lord’s child. 

Father’s guard, Quanba, is the one to greet me outside my door. Maybe I’ll finally learn how to use her bending style, the white hot whip gouging into stone and flesh. Father should have presented me with this option earlier, of course. When I’m soon to leave is a terrible time to start learning.

Father’s personal guard leads me to his throne room, where I kneel in front of him once again. At least it’s better than kneeling before Grandfather or, Agni’s mercy, Uncle. 

“Father,” I say in greeting.

“Azula. You will be staying here for another week.” This… is not part of my plan.

“Why?” I glance up briefly before turning my eyes back downward. I have to remember my etiquette. 

I know he’s debating the merit of telling me or commanding me.

“I need to display to the nation that at least one of my children is useful,” he says. Telling. 

So where’s Zuko.

“I understand, Father. Is there anything you need me to do?” The family probably looks unstable to outsiders. There’s too much inconsistency within the past week. Sending me to the academy might only start more rumors, even if the ones surrounding me are entirely false.

Rumors spread faster than truth.

At least I’m not bored anymore.

“We will hold a presentation of your skill,” he said. So showcasing me. “You will fight against the masters as a testament to your ability, and you will defeat all of them.” The hard note in his voice promises a challenge. The masters will not be allowed to go easy.

Good.

“I understand, Father. May I ask a favor?” He nods, and I send him a sharp smile. Just like his. The type that makes him remember that I’m his child, and that I have the capabilities he has. “Allow me to learn the fire whip.” Quanba stiffens, but she doesn’t object.

She knows she can’t.

“Granted.”

I’ll have to let Ty Lee and Mai know it will be another week before my return. Or they can figure it out on their own. I'm sure the news of my competition will spread as fast as rumor.

…

Zuko isn’t in his room when I drop by to drag him out.

…

Quanba isn’t a good teacher, but she’s a master and that is all I need. I can feel her fire just fine as it strikes against the stone in front of me. It’s not as hot as she normally makes it, too afraid of burning the First Princess.

Her fire doesn’t exactly  _ feel _ like fire, though. Not in it’s movements. There’s still the heat, the burning, but the way the fire reacts to it’s surroundings is different.

It feels like air.

There’s a mini vortex running along the line of her whip, a condensed version of the tornado I hold in my hand during boring nights where I can’t fall asleep and there’s no one around to watch. 

I pull for my own fire to form in my grasp and turn it in the same way, crossing strands of flame pushing and pulling against each other, waiting to explode outward and strike at everything it can reach.

It doesn’t, but I don’t hold it for longer than a moment before my control slips and the flames lick away into the air.

Quanba smirks.

I try again.

She keeps holding the whip out for me to observe, her hand arching along the flaming handle in a funnel. The end of her whip sparks, shocks of movement careening over the stone. Her whip is looser at the end, the vortex has less control. It isn’t as condensed as the areas closer to her hand.

It doesn’t look as nice up close.

She’s only letting it burn orange, for now, nowhere near the yellow-white she showed me before. Maybe the smaller amount of power is fraying her flames, rather than her lack of control over the end. Less power is less strong, it might not be able to hold together. Or she  doesn'tdoens’t care to control it properly because it’s a mere demonstration. 

I hold a hand in a funnel, just like she does, and start the swirling flames. It builds, biting at my fingers and palm, but I don’t release. 

Her stupid smirk is still there.

I end up feeling sparks, but the burning orange never leaves my finger tips.

There’s a little bit of blue, though.

…

Aang asks where Zuko is.

I show him the blue sparking at my fingertips.

…

The day of the tournament comes and I can’t help but feel something like boredom that isn’t boredom. It’s unpleasant and annoying.

Lo and Li are preparing me with lectures. How to show ease in victory, and graciously accepting losses. As if I would lose.

Father has prepared all of my previous masters. I’ll be fighting my way through their ranks, finally allowed to show everyone my capabilities. 

And yet Li - or is it Lo? - won’t stop messing with my hair, my outfit, my facial expressions. They keep pricking at me in boring, unuseful ways. I can’t even escape to do anything else. I haven’t managed to grab breakfast or practice or take a breath.

My fire is itching under my skin, but my air keeps pushing pins at Lo and Li, it keeps messing with my hair. Even my earth is acting up, pushing the ground out of place as I walk. It trips up some people following me, which is fun at least. The other two are just annoying.

Aang’s blue form follows me as well, flashes in the corner of my eye letting me know he’s around. So far he’s been messing with my guards, poking his fingers through their ears or popping his head out from their chests and laughing. 

I’d snicker, but the not-boredom is making it hard. 

It’s uncomfortable, and it’s only been getting worse. 

Father’s tournament takes place on a flat stage, elevated to the shoulders of most adults. It’s more like a fighting ring than a tournament area. There is a path from the state leading to Father’s seat, elevated above the people’s heads.

It’s only a few steps up from where I’m standing.

Even if I wasn’t short for a 10 year old, the people Father has me fighting are much taller. Full adults.

They fall just as hard.

The one who first taught me stances, and taught me how to knock people off balance by exploiting the stances. She’s first. Even after the first time that I exploited her weaknesses, she hasn’t done anything to cover them.

And then it’s the master who taught me kicks.

And then the one that tried to show me how to move, but was too stiff that I surpassed his movements within a few days.

Then the one that blasted large balls of uncontrolled orange.

The one who was strict with the basics.

The one whose hair caught on fire.

The one that was blackmailed with stories of their wife.

The one whose brother died in war, and who took money whenever offered.

The one with the cat badgers that scratched at his arms, leaving deep scars.

The one with the eye problem.

The one that breathed fire.

All of them are still so boring.

None of them take more than fire and a tad of wind. A blast of fire here, a yank of wind there, and they’re falling off the platform or yielding to a blade of flame. Father wants a show, so I’ll make it fancy.

I haven’t figured out how to make the whip, not yet, but my blade cuts deep enough.

Father stays on his throne, unaffected by the flames licking around the ring or the crowd’s excited calls. His smirk only grows the longer this continues. Uncle is in the crowd as well, though I didn’t notice him in the first half. 

His face looks weird. Like he’s afraid, but not. When he flashes pity I nearly send my next blast at him.

He’s irritating. 

My flames burn brighter, flecks of white lighting the inner most heat.

I barely notice as it blasts outward, pushing my opponent out of the ring, sending them careening into the audience and lighting a few pieces of clothing aflame. 

There’s enough fire benders in the crowd to keep everyone alive. Father wouldn’t like it if anyone important was  _ too  _ injured within his first week.

Cooking meat filled the air and people moved away from my former master. He should have been good enough to redirect my flames, if only he wasn’t so useless.

Father gives me a grin, and I return a glinting one of my own.

…

My maid drops her scissors. 

She’s so very useless, I don’t even feel bad when I light her dress on fire at the noise. She was too close to me, and too clumsy. She deserved it.

_ I _ , on the other hand,  _ did not  _ deserve the scream she let out, right next to my ear.

She’s so very useless. 

And annoying.

Worse than Zuko.

Worse than Uncle.

Worse than Mother or Father or Grandfather.

There’s flashes of blue around me, bright and shining and I briefly see Aang’s ghostly face. His expression is Annoying. He looks like Uncle, just for a moment, and then I don’t see him anymore.

He should just go find Zuko and stop bothering me already. He’s distracting.

I was supposed to be at the academy already.

I had plans, I had things to do, and Father’s tournament wasn’t as fun as he promised it would be. 

Instead I have burning clothes, burning tapestries, burning sheets, and the smell of fire in my nose

I should have gotten Zuko’s knife, since he’s gone. He doesn’t need it anymore.

Maybe I can have one of the maids pack it away. I’d tell them, if any were in here. But they aren’t because they’re cowards who can’t handle a little heat.

_ She dropped the scissors _ .

How dumb does she have to be?

Someone grabs my arm.

They pull me out of my room, away from my bed or the curtains lit with vibrant, searing blue. 

Someone’s checking me over for injuries, but everyone else hangs back, far away. 

Oh, all my stuff is probably burned. I doubt the useless maids managed to pack anything important away to be moved already. Why would they, when there’s still a few hours left before I leave?

Lazy dragon bait.

“Azula?”

Ugh, someone’s trying to bother me again. It sounds like Uncle, but he’s rarely here. He better not have brought me another doll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a tad short, but this chapter fought me the entire way.
> 
> Also. Um. Sorry again. For this chapter. At least we're finally getting at the fic's name?


	16. Fire Fairies

Mai and Ty Lee continue to hover, even though it’s been more than enough time since I’ve arrived for their excitement to calm down. Honestly, I don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish. 

Ty Lee pretends to be concerned about what happened with Mother and Grandfather. She’s… upset or something. Mai just follows along. Like a lost wolf pug. They still pay fine attention in class, and my guards don’t seem to mind their closeness, but my fire feels closer to the surface than normal.

It won’t be my fault if they decide to get burned.

The first day I could excuse. The first week, maybe. But it’s already been two weeks of this ridiculousness, and their pestering is merely annoying.

“Come on, Princess! Let’s go get some food. It’ll be good! We can eat in my room, if you want. It’s closer, right? And my siblings won’t be there! They’re all down at the beach.” I glare at her until she flinches back. 

One kick later, circling a string of fire from the base of my heel around my head, I send a blast through my elbow with wind backing it. It brushes past Ty Lee and her eyes fly wide, light dancing over her fear. Mai stands up from the relaxed position she’s taken up during her break.

“Ty Lee! Are you okay?” Mai rushes to her side as Ty Lee leans against the wall. Pathetic.

“Yeah, I’m. Um. Fine. I just need to, uh, take a bit of a break? Yeah. I’ll just -” she walks out, past my guards, and through the doorway. It shuts behind her.

That was a well executed attack. Father would be proud.

(Aang would be disappointed.)

Mai lets out a barely there sigh that I feel more than hear, and she follows Ty Lee out.

Good, less of a distraction. Princesses don’t have the time to be distracted. Lo and Li would have made sure I wasn’t distracted, but they were deemed not fit to travel. They should have anyway, if it would save face for the Fire Nation.

Pathetic, all of them.

I order two of the guards to train with me, and to go full out. I don’t need people keeping me weak, and I don’t need someone able to take me down to stay close. I can’t get rid of the guards, so I need to be able to beat them. Only using my fire.

I can’t allow capture. By anyone.

My people haven’t brought back confirmed information on Zuzu or Mother. They were always the disposable ones, I’ve always been useful. Perfect. I need to keep it that way.

Father’s strength lies in making opponents disappear, in shaping politics to present the way he wants. His flames are barely yellow while at the core mine are blue, but he has Uncle and he has his guards.

So I need to stay perfect. And that means no distractions, no complaining, no breaks. I can do that. 

I do, until the next day comes with news from the palace, delivered through the first class of the day.

“Alright, students. We are needing to enter lockdown for the next few days at least. Though the palace should be far enough away, there was a breakout from the palace prisons.” The teacher very pointedly did not look in my direction. She knows who is the most in danger, we all do. “The Avatar has escaped. As of yet, there are no clues as to how, but we are going to act on the suspicion of a traitor to the throne.”

I pull my flames deeper into myself. I can’t have an accident now, I have to stay perfect.

If anyone notices the wind inside a closed off classroom, they don’t mention it.

My guards shift behind me, probably glancing at each other. They didn’t know either. And now they’ll call for reinforcements, just in case. That won’t do. I need my people searching for answers, not protecting me from a person that couldn’t harm a turtle duck. Anyone who likes Zuko is too weak to be a threat to me.

Besides, Aang wouldn’t do anything. Even if he didn’t like Zuko.

Now I just need to know _where he went_.

Most of the guards that have the ability to move a prisoner are too dedicated to Father, they would never jeopardize that. He knows too much about them, and he’s enthusiastically demonstrated what happens when people oppose him. The younger, newer guards are even less likely. They wouldn’t have the means, even if they liked Aang enough to try and help him.

Maids wouldn't be able to make it down there without getting seen. Other nations might have sent someone in, a spy or a thief or a con artist, to get Aang out and bring him to their side. The water tribes don’t have that type of ability, though. They would be easy to spot. The darker skin of snow people is too obvious.

Earth benders are more likely. Mother used to talk about their acting skills, especially when she traveled to performances before Zuko was born. The Kyoshi warriors are also well known, but their styles are too obvious to sneak into the palace dungeon. 

Some of the nobles would benefit from undermining Father, though I can’t think of a reason Aang would go with any of them, or why he would follow quietly.

The problem with Aang is that he can’t be bribed. There’s nothing I can think of that he would want. Possibly freedom, but he doesn't have anything to return to.

Well. Freedom is worth a lot. Getting rid of boredom alone would be worth it. 

He did mention that Bumi guy a few times. He might be headed there, maybe. To see a friend or find shelter or fight against my Father again. Even though he doesn't have powers anymore, since they’re mine. 

Which means the Earth Kingdom might have him now, but that doesn’t explain how they got him out. 

Father’s probably keeping something secret. Which is unsurprising, seeing as he just failed his nation by freeing the previous Avatar. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. My guards should be able to find out something, or the maids and servants that are under my control. Father doesn’t get messy, necessarily. He’s too level headed. But he doesn’t trust anyone even his own guards. 

No one is allowed access to his private rooms, which means they’re easy to sneak into. If you know the tunnels. 

None of my followers have that right, of course, but they have other skills. They’ll figure it out, even if it takes their combined brainpower to do it. They already know not to fail me.

…

It takes an entire two weeks before any information gets back, which is pathetically slow. It isn’t even something relevant, just rumors and whispers of Zuko being burned, of spirits descending to free the Avatar, of Mother’s ghost haunting the halls. Dumb, boring stuff like that.

Pathetic waste of time. Even when one managed to sneak into Father’s study they failed to retrieve anything useful.

The rumors about Mother’s ghost are the ones spoken most often. Sounds that can’t be explained, echoes from inside the walls, wailing vibrating down to the bone. Not necessarily normal occurrences, but certainly exaggerated. It’s the guards that speak of Aang’s disappearance, saying that only a hair tie was left behind. Not even the tray brought for his food stayed.

His chains supposably were wrapped around the cell bars, jangling in the still air. One of the younger guard’s found out he was missing and alerted the chief warden, who voiced it up the ranks to reach Father.

And yet all of this information is useless to me. It says nothing about the how, nothing I can use to find Aang.

The stuff on Zuzu is - 

“Aren’t you worried? If he’s hurt, then you should be helping him.” Ty Lee says, annoyingly and without any prompting. She keeps bothering me about it, saying this and that about taking care of siblings and making sure they're okay and things only someone like her could think about.

“Why should I be? It’s all lies, anyway.”

“But how do you know?”

“Zuzu didn’t show up for the coronation.”

“So?”

“It was Father’s coronation.”

“Yeah, but like. What does that have to do with him being injured?”

I have to breath out a sigh. Ty Lee might not be from a powerful family, but she _must_ know _something_ about the inner workings.

“Zuzu showed weakness by not showing up. If he was still alive at that point, then he wouldn’t be allowed to stay that way for long.” That shut Ty Lee up.

She must not be used to someone like Father. Disappointing, it would make her stronger. 

“But… but he’s your brother!”

“So?”

“Aren’t you worried? Especially if he’s… if he’s… if he’s _dead_.” She pauses for a moment before, “he wouldn’t do that, would he? The Fire Lord?” I scoff. No one is around to hear the unsightly noise, but I make sure it doesn't happen again. 

“Of course Father would. If Zuzu ruined Father’s image, it’s the least he deserves. Remember, Ty Lee, image is everything. Without image you lose your honor and your family loses face. I won’t hesitate to remove anyone if necessary.” Mai’s blank stare is enough to tell me what she thinks of that. They don't believe me. Oh well.

I am my Father’s daughter. And all that comes with it.

Next in line for the throne if I make it that far. And I will, no matter what, even if that means submitting. Until the throne is mine.

“But-”

I cut her off, standing with my fire licking beneath my skin. “Enough. Now, let’s go. I heard the headmistress would be away for the day.” My flames need out, might as well pick my target.

“You can’t just-” This time it was Mai, ever the rule-follower, even after everything she’d done with me. Annoying. 

“I said. Enough.” The edge of Mai’s uniform catches flame before she cuts the piece off. It crisps to a crumble on the way to the floor. Her mouth twitches and my shadows move for their weapons. “Lets go. She won’t be away forever.”

I lead the way through the halls, passing the doors of classrooms and large windows looking down at playing children. Pathetic, boring children who haven’t faced even the slightest dangers in their lives. Some of them older than me.

I should change that, very soon. An assassination or two builds character. I can blame it on the feared Avatar. It wouldn’t be a lie, after all.

But no, that would draw attention. The Fire Nation and the Avatar are enemies, after all. I don’t need that type of focus, not until I’m in charge.

“Alright! So, what are we doing?” I can see the strain in Ty Lee’s face, but she won’t go against me. Not today, possibly not ever. I just need to mold Mai the same way. 

Mai bites out silent words that Ty Lee answers with an even tighter grin and intense, open eyes. When Mai sighs I know I’ve won. Ty Lee is such a good little friend. Already doing her job.

“There’s a thing one of my Masters did, when he thought I wasn’t looking. Moving things ever so slightly. It was right before I crisped his fingers, so I never did see the end result. But Father trusted him with extracting information, so it must be effective.”

“That… doesn’t sound like much.” Mai sounds sceptical. As she should, in this particular instance. I don’t know what exactly it will do either, but it could be fun to try.

“Well, that’s what we’re doing. She leaves every two weeks for at least an hour’s time. That means the next time will be in four days. There might be small emergencies before the netwo weeks pass, and we can continue during those times as well.”

“Okay, but I still don’t get what we’re doing…?” Ty Lee mutters quietly into the ground. Of course she doesn't know this isn’t Ty Lee’s area of expertise. Playing with the human body and playing with surroundings are two entirely different things. 

She needs to learn both to be a good guard, so she will learn.

“You’ll see.”

With the number of times the headmistress leaves her rooms and Azula catches wind of it, there’s items moved or missing every other day.

It takes a week for the academy to go on holiday, with the headmistress declaring a break due to private situations occurring within the school. People whisper about the ghosts that have been haunting the halls, and others talk about the spirit that helped Aang escape bringing chaos to the Princess of the Fire Nation as revenge for the Avatar’s imprisonment. 

Ridiculous.

The headmistress did look quite disheveled the next time she was seen in public, though. It was probably for the best that I withheld my flames. This is so much better than a dumb burn or scorched walls.

Strength can be displayed in such boring ways. They’re the ways Father favors, of course. He doesn't have the creativity to truly cause fear. I do. Mai, Ty Lee, and all of my guards know to fear me, even though they’ve never been touched by my flames.

Besides, this way I won’t be vocally blamed. Soft power, as they say, is so hard to see, and even harder to get rid of. Invasive. Effective.

Not that they would do anything if they caught me, of course. But it is nice.

Most of the students are jumping around, excited to have an extra vacation. It’s probably for the best that they return to their families. The discipline at the academy must be disgraceful if they believe it’s okay to act in this manner. They must not have high standards, but surely there’s at least some. Ty Lee and Mai behave fine. 

Ty Lee’s sisters, on the other hand. Maybe not.

“A-Lee!” One of them shouts. The others rush forward. At least they know to stop some distance away and let Ty Lee go join them instead of approaching me. 

They can learn.

“A-Lee, what are you doing? Dad won’t be here for another day.” Ty Lee’s already packed her stuff and carried it out. It isn’t much, but it’s more than adequate for a stay in the palace. We’ll have to find her more appropriate clothing anyway, her parents have awful taste. She looks presentable within the Academy because of the uniform, but few else in her closet are acceptable.

“Oh, sorry! Princess invited me to stay at the palace for break.” Like I would allow her to return to her home with those sisters. They’re awful for her training, distracting her and everything. Plus they don’t know how to put up a fight.

And then there’s that thing about her mom that Ty Lee and Mai talk about when they think I’m gone.

Either way, she’s mine for the break and they won’t even think about refusing.

We have too much to do. If they’re going to become my selected guards, they need to learn how to function in the palace. They need to learn which people are tolerated and which are watched. They need to know passageways and secrets and who to annoy until they leave. I can’t do all of that if we’re here at this stupid academy, and I can’t do that if they go to their own homes. 

…

All I can really do is smile at my siblings. Sure, I won’t be heading home with them for break, but it’ll be okay! We can still talk all the time, through letters and such. The messenger hawks in the palace are awesome. So much faster than anything else from anywhere else. And I’ll never be too busy to write them!

And yeah, break is lasting indefinitely, which is a bit strange. But Princess is just that amazing! I didn’t know moving furniture around just a little could do that to a person. (Okay, so she might be a little terrifying, but that’s normal for a Princess.)

“But… you haven’t hung out with us in, like, forever!” A-Lao pouts and makes the biggest saddest eyes I’ve seen in a while. They’re worse than normal, but I can’t say no to the Princess! And I don’t want to!

“I know, and I’m sorry for that! But it’s just, well. You know! Princess! There’s no way I could say no, and I don’t want to, either. You guys will have a ton of fun at home, don’t worry!” A-Lao looks doubtful, same with A-Lat. But they always have the most trouble back home. Other than A-Lum of course, but she likes getting shouted at so I don’t bother.

She’s really learned some dirty words.

“C’mon, guys. We should let her be,” A-Lin says, turning away. She hasn’t looked at me this entire time, hanging around the back of the group even when they first came up. And yeah, maybe I haven’t been hanging out with her during classes or anything, but Azula likes it when I sit next to her.

It’s not my fault. They’re just being too sensitive.

“A-Lin!” I know my lip is trembling and I don’t like it! And I don’t like how they’re all looking away from me! And my jaw hurts because my teeth are grinding together and maybe my eyes sting a little, but it’s fine. If they want to leave, then fine!

I have Princess and Mai anyway. And they’re just as cool. And just as pretty!

My stupid siblings can go pout by their stupid selves and I’ll be here with my awesome friends and we’ll have a great time at the palace, and I won’t even send a message home! Since they clearly don’t want me there.

My sleeve is rough over my eyes, but that’s fine too. It’s just texture, and textures can be so interesting. I love textures, especially in clothing shops and there’s so many textures that I can just feel. Mai and Azula go shopping with me. They don’t even get mad at me for touching everything. 

See? So much cooler than back home.

Mai knocks her shoulder against mine when I finally get back next to her. That felt like a really, really long distance.

My siblings haven’t looked back.

“Are you ready yet?” Princess asks. I know she’s just barely stopping her eyes from rolling. She’s so kind.

I grin, making sure my eyes crinkle. Princess is really good at reading my expressions and she always wants to make me feel better. But I don’t want my siblings to get hurt because of me. So I’ll tell Mai about it later, just. Not yet. And not in front of Princess.

Besides, I don’t want to make the trip back awkward! It’s a long ride through Caldera to the Capital, and it’ll be slowed down by crowds trying to catch a glimpse of the Princess as she passes.

A couple of servants take my things into the second carriage with Mai and Princess’ things as I climb into the first one. 

“Come on, come on!” I shout at the other two. Now they're the ones left behind! Ha! They should try and hurry up so we can get going already!

Princess basically floats in, hr leep far too elegant for anyone else to be able to pull off. The way the air catches her hair… the way her feet land even lighter than mine do. She’s just so pretty…

Mai has a similar elegance, even if it’s not as intense. She’s a bit bolder, a bit simpler. I can see her movements, even though that doesn't mean I can follow them. She’s poised, always. Strong and calm and just as beautiful as any of my siblings. Just as much as Princess.

Aaah it’s gonna be a really long trip back…

The cart starts swaying below me as Princess’s procession makes it way down the road. Barely half an incense later I’m already dying of boredom.

“Maaaaaiiii! Play with meeee!” I’m all but sprawled over her lap, playing with her hair strands that are dangling down. She raises an eyebrow at me but doesn't do anything else. I flop over instead, her knees digging into my chest. It kinda hurt, but was worth it. “Princess! Can you show me something with your fire?”

“It’s not a trick for entertainment.” Her voice is flat, like normal. But that wasn’t a no. 

“Come on! It must be good practice, right? I mean, we’re in a burnable thing. You’d have to have really, really good control to make sure no one gets hurt.” She’s smiling, but it’s a little too sharp to be an actual smile. “You could make fire fairies!”

 _That_ got a reaction.

“Fire _what_?”

“Fairies!” 

“What in Agni’s reach is that?”

“You know, fairies! They fly around granting wishes and setting things on fire! They’re red or white or blue or even green. A-Lou said that if you look around at night you can see them flying above trees or around fields.”

“Yeah,” Mai said. Yes! Mai knows about them! “Mom says they’re the spirits of fire benders before they reach the sky.”

“Oh?” Princess’s eyes light up just enough that I know she’s interested.

“Yeah! And that’s why they like to fly. They keep trying to go up to the sky so that they can join all the powerful fire bender spirits! You haven’t heard that before?” I know she doesn’t care about the Fire Monks, but these are _fairies_! They’re so much cooler than stupid avatar myths!

“Father wouldn’t… approve of me learning this.”

“So? Who cares! You don’t have to tell him. Besides, it’s it best to know things instead of let it stay hidden from you? Come on, you love learning!”

“It could make a good prank,” Mai interjected. Oh! Yes! That might convince her!

“I don’t prank people. I just.” Her grin turns sharp again. “Remind them of their place."

“Right.”

“So you’ll try making a fire fairy, right? Please? Please, please, please? I’ll love you even more forever and ever!”

“Fine.” She sparks a small amount of blue over her finger tips. It just sits there for a bit before I realise she _doesn’t know what a fairy looks like._

“Okay, so it has a little head, right? And this body that looks kinda like…” I smush my palms together, opening a little at the fingertips to make a V, “that! And it’s all fiery and sometimes there’s hair and little arms, but not always.” 

Princess’s face scrunches up a tad, looking absolutely _adorable_ , just like A-Liu does sometimes when she can’t figure out a math problem. The tiny speck of flame leaves her fingers, just barely shaping into a long triangle before dying out.

She starts again, this flame a little closer to white. The cart’s inside is already overheating, but it’s just _so cool_ that I can’t bring myself to care.

Mai does, though. “Azula, can you try with a less hot flame?” Mai’s grimacing. Even the fan she’s waving (where did she get that?) doesn’t seem to help. It’s just pushing the hot air around.

Princess burns bright blue for a moment before letting it die out. I have to push back against the wood; it really is hot.

Mai knocks on the wood to alert everyone outside to stop before pushing open the carriage door. She jumps out to a fresh breath of cool air and I bolt after her. It feels absolutely _freezing_ outside the carriage. It’s swimming weather.

“Wow, P-P-Princess! Your f-flames are really i-impressive, huh? That’s uh, really warm.” _How can she hold that in her hand??_

“Hm, I guess,” she’s still inside. “Well, come on, let’s keep going. I promise I’ll keep my flames small for your… delicate constitutions.” Awww, she’ll do that for us? 

I step right back into the hot wooden box.

“C’mon, Mai!”

Princess is already working on a smaller, redder flame. It manages to lift off her fingertips, floating in the air just like a real fairy does! I push air up under it and it flies upward, spinning toward the ceiling until Princess calls it back down. No burning down this carriage!

Princess pokes at it with her pinky, bringing it right up to her face. The warm light colors her features and she smiles. Not a sharp one, but something even more beautiful.

“I’ll name you Zuzu.” 

That’s really sweet! But, “Ah, Princess, fire fairies appear when a bender dies.”

“I know.”

I-

What?

I stare at Princess before whipping my head to Mai. Her eyes are blown open, too.

_I thought that was a joke!_

…

Zuko crawls out of the tunnel, the same one he directed Aang through two weeks ago. Really, people should be watching these exits. Then again, only royalty is supposed to know about them.

He has a few items to sell, but that should be enough to get him a cart out of Caldera. Aang is probably heading to the Earth Kingdom, probably Omashu, so there’s no way Zuko’s going there. He won’t risk Aang’s freedom, not after he’s finally able to live again.

Uncle always said Ba Sing Se was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a tad late! Mid terms are trying to murder me a little.
> 
> Now! Funny stories! When writing this the 'e' key on my keyboard broke a little, which felt so unbelievably strange. the thing didn't type the letter, nor did the key move. So every time I typed basically any word my finger didn't push down as much as it should have and it freaked me out, even though I knew exactly what was going on. I managed to replace it, but that was still the strangest typing experience yet. Like, my othr keys have broken before. But none of the vowels. I still need to fix my control button.... meh. some other time.
> 
> Azula was pretty difficult in this chapter. She did. not. want. to. happen. Which is why I had to switch to Ty Lee before Azula left the story and murdered me herself. 
> 
> Anywho. A couple of you were waiting for the canon divergence to happen. What do ya think? Did it happen?
> 
> Oh yeah! And check out the side stories. In a bit there'll be some parts filling in what's going on with Zuko and how the rumors are getting spread around. There's already two out that are just some fun bits that you might have been curious about. Like what Aang did during his extended stay in prison (i.e. not much since he, you know, couldn't physically leave) or what happend with Mai and Ty Lee after Azula threatened that shop keeper and broke the mirror. Is anyone catching on to what Ty Lee's going through? Or her siblings? And no, her parents aren't abusive or anything.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone's interested in the spotify playlist I listen to on repeat while writing this story, check it out! It helps me get into the Azula mindset: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0hUlaAfUT2WGThLktb9Yae?si=M2vFbHJBSCWeEw2jXYPvDw
> 
> There's also a Ty Lee one: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2rld3nxcP5ADS64kRuG9UI?si=0VZK6p7dRZq1kjibMH9NQg
> 
> And an Ursa one: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4qfap596iLPxEAJUeJJE5E?si=b08nNDsWS9y90xK8qqrORg
> 
> Ty Lee's and Ursa's are ones that I created seperate from this story, so not all the songs match their personalities perfectly.


End file.
